Hoping that there may be an itsy bitsy chance that my baby might live...need thoughts

[leslieinnola]

Hi ladies,

Tough post, tough week -- I am 11 weeks pregnant and went in for my first appointment with a midwife last week to check up on baby. She couldn't hear a heartbeat, so we scheduled for an ultrasound the following day.

The ultrasound showed that there was indeed a fetus with a heartbeat, but the fetus was measuring 6 weeks (instead of 10.5) and had the saddest little heartbeat of 75BPM. Whew. They told me that chances of miscarriage were very high and they that anticipated it within the week. 

Has anyone had success with an outlook as poor as this? Has anyone gone on to have a healthy, normal baby with such a terrible prognosis?

Also, any thoughts on home miscarriage versus D and C would be so appreciated. Thanks for any thoughts or advice.

[mamabutterfly]

Leslie, welcome to MDC - I am sorry it is under these difficult circumstances. How terribly upsetting to go to your appointment thinking you would hear a heartbeat and getting this news instead.

I just wanted to make sure to send you a hug. It's hard to know I guess what is going on, but it doesn't sounds like a viable 11 week old should have that growth or that heart rate, as you said. Is there any way your dates could be really off?

If you are facing an upcoming miscarriage, you will find extremely helpful answers and support on the Pregnancy and Loss boards - you can view that now that you are a member, it's after Due Date Clubs. There are many women there who have gone through natural miscarriages at home, including myself, who can help give you some idea of what to expect if that is what is happening.

I hope you get some clarity and answers soon. I wish you the best, mama.

[Jynuine]

Im sorry you are going through this :( I have personally miscarried twice (same day 7 years apart) and I KNOW that same hopeful feeling you have. Only for ME I had already started bleeding both times and no heartbeat was detected at 13 weeks.

I say you HAVE hope. Obstetrics is NOT an exact science and miracles do happen. There was a case not too long ago where a mom was told that she was going to miscarry and the best thing for her to do was to have a D&C. Apparently the baby was farther along than they thought and was still alive.

I'm not trying to scare you but there is definitely something to be said about undergoing the miscarriage process and having your time for mourning if it does happen. I will pray for  you though that your miracle is this child, either way. :)

God bless- thoughts and prayers are with you.

[leslieinnola]

Thanks so much. I haven't had any bleeding or cramping yet, so my little flicker of hope is still burning. I'm so sorry for your losses -- it's truly amazing that we can develop this love for our little ones even when they just tiny specks, merely days old. Best of luck to you and your beautiful family.

[rareimer]

my hope and prayers are with you that everything is okay with your little one.  like Jynuine says, obstetrics is not an exact science, so keep that little bit of faith that you have, because you just never know. 

i had a D&C with my miscarriage, and i regretted it after.  at the time, i was so devastated about my baby, that i just wanted not to be pregnant anymore.  but afterwards, i really wished i had decided to miscarry naturally, i felt like i owed that at least to my little one, and i think it would have made the loss less sudden.  with the D&C, it was like i went to sleep pregnant, and woke up...not.  it was hard for me.  if you do end up having to make that choice, do what feels right to you, but this is just the way it felt for me.

i hope that is not a choice you are faced with.  my most positive thoughts are with you.

[anjelika]

My thoughts are with you mama...