Explaining to a 3 year old...

[CoopersMommy0308]

How do you explain to a three year old that Dad is moving out?  

It hasn't happened yet but we are looking for an apartment for my DH. Our plan is to do a 6 month separation and the re-evaluate how we feel. We aren't sure where this will take us therefore we don't want to promise our 3 year old anything. But we want to make this as smooth as possible for him.

He is very attached to Dad (thankfully!) and Dad is very attached to the boys (our other son is 7 months). It will mean changes for us but the boys and I are staying in the house to try to ease some of the changes for the boys. At least for now. If at the end of 6 months we decide to move on then we will probably sell the house. 

We want to make 100% sure that we are ready to be done before we make any permanent. I understand that to a 3 year old 6 months is a LONG time and we are trying to everything we can to make this as easy as possible. Dad will still see the boys almost everyday. 

So, how do you explain it to a three year old? 

[rubelin]

my youngest was not quite 3 when we told him about their daddy moving out. We knew where he was going (in our case, into the house next door) and we'd already worked out a visitation schedule which was pretty much when they already saw him (in the morning for breakfast and part of Saturdays & Sundays). They knew that our neighbors were moving out so we told them that Daddy was moving into X's house and they would see him just as much as they already did. We added in Sunday overnights over a few months (youngest was still nursing at bedtime but had occasionally gone to bed with only Daddy before) and then added 2 more overnights a week in the months after that.

The split hasn't been as easy for him as it has been for my older one, who was nearly 7 when it happened, but he's done ok. It REALLY helped to keep their routine as similar as possible to how it had always been and to slowly add in changes. He had a lot of potty regression (he'd been an EC grad by 2ish) but that was really the only way he showed difficulty with things.

[ZoeyZoo]

I told my dd at 2 that Mommy and Daddy love her but we are going to live in different houses. Initially XH came to the house and watched dd while I was at work and also visited him at his new house. Then she just went back and forth to each house. We also have a preschool we send her to and that has helped provide more consistency. I also try to keep her schedule as normal as possible.

A lot of people on SP didn't like my schedule but we switch her every day. For example XH will drop her off school and I pick her up. She does better when she sees both of us every day. I figure we'll do this until she's a little older and better adjusted.