Help! My extreme breastfeeder....

[treehouse]

Extreme is an understatement... my boy (my second, and my first was nothing like this - humbling to say the least) is 11 months. He would absolutely nurse every moment of every day if it were possible. At 10 months (after 5 months of sleepless nights and all night nursing), we finally had to buy a crib and put him on a schedule overnight. We're still co-sleeping with our four year old so that was kind of a big deal for us. He gets to nurse (or gets a bottle, pumped, from Daddy), before bedtime and once anytime after 2 and again anytime after 6 (he's usually up around 6:30). This, after vigorously sticking to it for about a month, has GREATLY helped our nighttime sleep issues..... and now to our daytime issues. He wants to nurse at least 2-3 times and hour, sometimes more often, throughout the day, every day. He all but refuses to eat solids, nibbling on things here and there but not really taking much interest, except in the boob. And he's assertive. If I don't nurse him, when and where he wants it, there will almost certainly be a tantrum... kicking, screaming, pulling, climbing, headbanging, you name it. And that can sometimes last for over an hour. He'll follow me from room to room, pulling on my legs and asking to be nursed, etc. I've offered him food as an alternative, soy milk in bottles, sippy cups, etc, pacifiers, anything to give myself just a moment to myself with my body and mind... all to no avail. His persistence is astonishing.

I do not want to stop nursing. I don't mind nursing him frequently, but this is over the top. I'm unable to get things done around the house or out of it. I have a busy four year old that also requires my time and energy, and I find myself feeling resentful about the amount of energy my baby boy requires from me. I have a job and a husband. I love my boy and I had every intention of nursing well beyond infancy, but I'm feeling myself begin to crack.

Have any of you had similar problems? What have you done that has helped? I was hoping that he would begin to turn some corner with mobility and exploration, etc, and begin to become more interested in other things.... but I don't see that happening at the moment. And suggestions for a dedicated mom - and her boobs - at their wits end?

[D_McG]

Does he have any delays or other sensory issues? How long have you persisted with the limits? Because I would just say to stick with a VERY predictable schedule during the day and battle through the tantrums and he'll adjust. That's what I did with my perma-nursing son. I made it so that we nursed (I think) one time in the morning, before nap, 'when daddy got home' and before bed. And that was it. Totally non-negotiable no matter what. It was the only way he could understand. To this day (he's 4.5) he really likes things to be black and white.

Being confident and really never giving in was key for us. It might seem mean or harsh but really we needed it. We hadn't learned any other way to connect and it just was a bad scene. I was pregnant and really felt like I was going insane. I hated nursing him that much. So that helped me to stay on top of it.

[Katie T]

Just commiserate my dd2 nurses from the time I get home from work till she goes to bed. I only work 2 days a month, I can't imagine it being a every day of the week thing. I hope it gets better soon. My only suggestion is baby wear if possible and maybe just being there with you will help. : /