Things are not going as I planned with Cosleeping

[Lady Love]

I am posting to ask for advice from other similar-thinking mothers as I don't know anyone here that co-sleeps with their little ones. We slept with our son from the day he was born and I found that it really helped me to connect with him- especially since I had lots of trouble at first with my own depression and his colicky behavior. He is now 3 and still happily sleeping with us. I now also have a 3 month old which is why I'm writing. I slept with her by myself when she was first born, then tried to move into bed with my husband and son after a couple of weeks. Even though we have a king-sized bed, I didn't get any sleep this way and felt incredibly crowded. So I went back to sleeping with my baby alone until a couple of weeks ago. Typically, she gets very fussy in the evening and cries a lot before I can get her to sleep. One evening I felt that I just had to have a break and laid her down in her crib for a minuet. Instead of continuing to cry, she went right to sleep. Since then, I've laid her down after nursing in the evening when she gets fussy and she sleeps through the night, usually until 6 in the morning. When she wakes up, I take her out out of the crib and into bed with me to nurse her. I know how unusual it is that she has been sleeping through the night and many moms would think I was crazy for worrying about it. I never even had a crib for my first and just got this for her naps in the daytime so my toddler wouldn't bother her. Now she's sleeping there and I feel a little bit sad about it, like I'm neglecting her. I'm so sorry this is as long as it is, I just wanted to get the whole story down. Anyone else out there with similar problems? Maybe she will sleep better with me when she gets older? Thanks in advance for any replies...

[Wachee]

I had my DS sleep in a bassinet beside me until he was 3 months but he was similar he would only sleep well in a crib (I had planned on not even buying a crib, sigh, I wanted the family bed but apparently DS did not so I did what was best for him). But he was there for 3 months and then he started getting his teeth and then got sick at the same time and was waking up every hour so I figured well if I am going to be up every hour I don't want to get out of bed and how much worse could it be in a family bed. He went back to waking up only for feedings (my DS slept 5-6 hours then would wake up every 2.5-3 hours to eat no sleeping through for him!). So we started the family bed again and that is where we are at today - he is one now.

[Shami]

I have a friend with a son like that. From the day he was born he did not like to fall asleep in arms. When she put him down he was out. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting your child sleep the way she wants. Maybe if you really want her in your room and right next to you (which i totally understand) you could get one of those little moses basket and put her to sleep next to your bed. If you have the space you could side car your crib. This will give her the space she wants, but keep her close to you. Or you could buy these little bed bumpers that go under your sheet and create 'her' space in your bed. http://www.gobedbug.com/uk/infantcosleep.htm

[mamazee]

A modified kind of co-sleeping is to let them sleep in the crib if they prefer it until they wake to nurse in th morning and then to bring them to bed when they wake to nurse, and have some cuddle and snooze time in the mornings. Like part time co-sleeping.

[Lady Love]

Thanks for the replies. I have been bringing her into bed with me in the mornings to nurse and snuggle. It does seem to suit her best for now to sleep by herself because she sleeps so much longer that way. I guess I have a bias against cribs and it's hard for me to accept. Honestly, after taking care of her and my toddler all day, it's nice to have a break!