Are you often mocked for your family's eating choices?

[Ldavis24]

I mean by other friends and family?

We are, and we aren't even "militant" about how we eat. We have just been tweaking it here and there trying our best to do what we think is right for our family but I feel like every time we get together with friends or family there are a few snide comments snuck into conversation without fail.

For example, "Ohhh guess what Lauren this chicken is Organic Free range from TJs, so I guess you guys can eat it!" In response to us buying our chicken meat from a local farmer that is significantly more expensive but worth it to us.

Or, "Ohh can DD have some of this ice-cream? Oh wait NM I know you guys don't let her have anything fun, I mean processed." FTR DD is allowed to eat treats like ice-cream we just limit it a lot and try to avoid things that are neon green or bright red etc.

This happens all the time and it is never meant meanly but there is generally a tone of mockery at all times with it. I don't judge other people for what they eat but I am beginning to wonder if just talking about how we have changed out diet and why is offensive to our friends and family...

Anyone get to hear this type of stuff?

[Rani]

Yes..we were the crunchy weirdos that spend WAY too much on food and you know..all food is organic, duh....it was alive right?...Its a self defense mechanism on their part because they feel embarrassed that they don't. They are probably unaware that they are doing it really..they think they are just teasing.

So, I ignored it when dd was little and I ignore it now. And yes sometimes we do eat processed food or junk when out and about but the way I look at it is, often, the other kids ask to trade dd for bits of her lunch a lot..so we are doing something right lol

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Rani 

Yes..we were the crunchy weirdos that spend WAY too much on food and you know..all food is organic, duh....it was alive right?...Its a self defense mechanism on their part because they feel embarrassed that they don't. They are probably unaware that they are doing it really..they think they are just teasing.

So, I ignored it when dd was little and I ignore it now. And yes sometimes we do eat processed food or junk when out and about but the way I look at it is, often, the other kids ask to trade dd for bits of her lunch a lot..so we are doing something right lol

this made me giggle. The height of cool was lunchables when I was in elementary school and my mom would NEVER buy them for me. I thought she was so cruel. I look at those little things now and want to barf...

[cristeen]

I have never been mocked or teased about my food choices. I have confused people, and ive had them judge me (for making "unhealthy" choices), but never mocking.

If these are good friends, id call them on the passive agressiveness. If theyre not, then id probably stop hanging out. If this is family, id tell them to cut the crap and if they didnt, id limit exposure there too. I dont know how old your kid(s) are, but i wouldnt want them to learn that behavior, either towards other people's choices or towards yours.

[goldenwillow]

Count us in on folks thinking our choices are different, but I do not feel we are mocked.  I think they are just unsure, new things. 

Our fridge and cupboards look so very foreign to our family.  Our friends are more on board though. 

We have gallon jars of fermented everything, kombucha, grass fed beef, sustainable salmon, raw milk, you get the picture. 

When the flack comes, I just try to convey that this is our medical insurance for later in life.  Makes them think a bit as our parents are not healthy and on many meds for this and that. 

My hope is they will come around but they have really lightened up on the matter.   I remember getting a ton of flack drinking raw milk and eggs while pregnant.  They see how our choices have panned out when they are with DS, he is so darn smart, strong.... amazing. 

When someone whether family or friends comes over and ask what they can bring.....  I just say something to drink for yourselves.  I usually have corn tortillas and salsa that we make on hand just for those types of visits. 

I find it really hard too about the types of foods they push for DS to eat.  Easter should be fun... we always take our own grub. 

Someone always tries to slip DS something that is just horrible.  It is one of those things.  I have been able to convey to our families that I am the one who sees DS act crazy on sugary, processed stuff and they have seemed to stop pushing. 

[frugalmum]

I get this a lot about my eating habits.  I am pretty much vegan (occasionally eat animal products but 99% of the time don't) and i get accused of starving myself (I eat 2000-2500 calories a day), being malnourished, dooming myself to osteoporosis and so on.  And god forbid I have any health problem, they immediately blame it on my food intake.  It really annoys me because so many people eat terribly and have no business trying to tell other how to eat.

[sosurreal09]

I am mocked all the time. Everyone says am a crazy hippy or an "extremist" and truth be told when we are not at home (like visiting someone) I practically let her eat anything b/c I can't control it, but I do have limits...

Be back later to elaborate b/c DD is messing with the comp

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

I have never been mocked or teased about my food choices. I have confused people, and ive had them judge me (for making "unhealthy" choices), but never mocking.

If these are good friends, id call them on the passive agressiveness. If theyre not, then id probably stop hanging out. If this is family, id tell them to cut the crap and if they didnt, id limit exposure there too. I dont know how old your kid(s) are, but i wouldnt want them to learn that behavior, either towards other people's choices or towards yours.

Hmm at first I was giong to say I didn't find it a huge deal that my family and DH's teases/mocks us/is just plain passive aggressive. It doesn't infuriate me but it happens enough that it is somewhat annoying and I guessed other people have similar experiences. We don't even eat that strangely! We like whole foods, un-processed and at the very least Organic although it doesn't mean much if you aren't doing whole foods. I try to cook mostly from scratch...Crazy I know...

Anyway, the more I think about the more I realize, that no the passive aggressive BS is not something I want DD to learn from anywhere, which is tough because DH's mom is the QUEEN of passive aggressive BS. DD is almost 2 so it isn't a huge issue yet but thank you cristeen for giving me something to think about that I hadn't really considered before!

[Gator-mom]

I'm glad to have found this thread because I just had a bit of a dramatic event related to this last week...

My MIL wanted to get the kids together to dye eggs, as the rest of the family besides us is out of town for the whole week leading up to Easter, heading down for a big family get-together in Southern Utah. Anyway, DH was not there, as was at a night class, but me, DS and the rest of the in-law family was there.  My FIL was drunk when we got there, already slurring his words.  So when it came time to order dinner, I said, "Why don't I just go down there with the pick up and make our order there because it might be a bit complicated".  I say this because DS has recently been diagnosed with lactose intolerance and we are whole food vegetarians already, so ordering in restaurants that the rest of the family wants to eat at CAN be complicated!  So my FIL blurts out very snidely, "Everything you do is complicated! It's ALWAYS so complicated!" I said, "Excuse me, but your GRANDSON is LACTOSE INTOLERANT".  The rest of the family was all sitting around staring at their hands.  No one said anything to his blatant remark, and I was the only one there to defend myself.

I walked out of the room and pretended to do some laundry.  FIL comes in and says, "You didn't leave because of me didn't you?" and I said, "I just feel like you think I'm so stupid and burden you all the time when you say something like that".  He denies this, and tells me to 'stop being so sensitive' as he walks out of the room, obviously telling me that the conversation is over.  Maybe I was over-reacting, but it really felt like he was purposely trying to single me out as the weirdo.  I know that if DH had been there, there is no way he would have said that.  And if he HAD been there, DH would have had my back, and there would have been a bit of a show-down.

It's not the first time I've heard comments from him and other members of the family for living the way we do..which is basically whole foods, vegetarian and we try to avoid GMO and pesticides..so organic as often as we can afford it.  I definitely feel like they think we as a family, but myself mostly (as I'm the one who helps figure out what and when to get together) are a huge PITA.  Lately, I feel like I don't even want to have DS go over there anymore.  I feel torn because he loves his grandparents and I don't want to tell him he can't have a relationship with them, but we are constantly having to intervene with them from trying to feed him junk food/candy, let him be off his usual schedule all the time (like staying up till 11pm when he sleeps over occasionally) and when he comes home he is hyper, exhausted and completely defiant.

Sorry for the lengthy story..just thought this might be a place were others would understand my frustration..

[jldumm]

oh yeah. our family gives us a really hard time. especially oh whenever we see them. about meat mostly. but also things like raw milk and the large number of vegetables my family is  consuming.  sometimes times it bugs me, but then i spend less and less time with those people.  they also think homebirth, breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering/ec, no plastic is weird.  so we are weird all the way around.  hang in there just know that you are not alone and surround yourselves with friends who think like you. 

[tjlucca]

Originally Posted by Gator-mom 

I'm glad to have found this thread because I just had a bit of a dramatic event related to this last week...

My MIL wanted to get the kids together to dye eggs, as the rest of the family besides us is out of town for the whole week leading up to Easter, heading down for a big family get-together in Southern Utah. Anyway, DH was not there, as was at a night class, but me, DS and the rest of the in-law family was there.  My FIL was drunk when we got there, already slurring his words.  So when it came time to order dinner, I said, "Why don't I just go down there with the pick up and make our order there because it might be a bit complicated".  I say this because DS has recently been diagnosed with lactose intolerance and we are whole food vegetarians already, so ordering in restaurants that the rest of the family wants to eat at CAN be complicated!  So my FIL blurts out very snidely, "Everything you do is complicated! It's ALWAYS so complicated!" I said, "Excuse me, but your GRANDSON is LACTOSE INTOLERANT".  The rest of the family was all sitting around staring at their hands.  No one said anything to his blatant remark, and I was the only one there to defend myself.

I walked out of the room and pretended to do some laundry.  FIL comes in and says, "You didn't leave because of me didn't you?" and I said, "I just feel like you think I'm so stupid and burden you all the time when you say something like that".  He denies this, and tells me to 'stop being so sensitive' as he walks out of the room, obviously telling me that the conversation is over.  Maybe I was over-reacting, but it really felt like he was purposely trying to single me out as the weirdo.  I know that if DH had been there, there is no way he would have said that.  And if he HAD been there, DH would have had my back, and there would have been a bit of a show-down.

It's not the first time I've heard comments from him and other members of the family for living the way we do..which is basically whole foods, vegetarian and we try to avoid GMO and pesticides..so organic as often as we can afford it.  I definitely feel like they think we as a family, but myself mostly (as I'm the one who helps figure out what and when to get together) are a huge PITA.  Lately, I feel like I don't even want to have DS go over there anymore.  I feel torn because he loves his grandparents and I don't want to tell him he can't have a relationship with them, but we are constantly having to intervene with them from trying to feed him junk food/candy, let him be off his usual schedule all the time (like staying up till 11pm when he sleeps over occasionally) and when he comes home he is hyper, exhausted and completely defiant.

Sorry for the lengthy story..just thought this might be a place were others would understand my frustration..

I totally get this. We are organic, whole food vegetarians, but not only that. I miscarried in December and we found then that I am Gluten and dairy intolerant. After several months of using herbs, changing my already healthy diet and resting, we are TTC again.  My MIL told DP last week that I can't get pregnant because we are always "dieting". He tried to explain to her that we NEVER diet. We simply try to make the healthiest food choices possible. He got no where with her. She is convinced that if we ate "normal" I would be pregnant right now. Argh, we don't get invited to family gathering much anymore, due to our "strange" eating habits. My side of the family now pretty much refuses to have a meal with us.  I feel you..
 

[tjlucca]

Originally Posted by frugalmum 

I get this a lot about my eating habits.  I am pretty much vegan (occasionally eat animal products but 99% of the time don't) and i get accused of starving myself (I eat 2000-2500 calories a day), being malnourished, dooming myself to osteoporosis and so on.  And god forbid I have any health problem, they immediately blame it on my food intake.  It really annoys me because so many people eat terribly and have no business trying to tell other how to eat.

[tjlucca]

Originally Posted by frugalmum 

I get this a lot about my eating habits.  I am pretty much vegan (occasionally eat animal products but 99% of the time don't) and i get accused of starving myself (I eat 2000-2500 calories a day), being malnourished, dooming myself to osteoporosis and so on.  And god forbid I have any health problem, they immediately blame it on my food intake.  It really annoys me because so many people eat terribly and have no business trying to tell other how to eat.

[sosurreal09]

We eat meat but it is free range local from a CSA. We only eat organic produce and only eat whole foods really. I make everything homemade. We try to eat more raw foods and we have a limited dairy consumption. We will eat grass-fed butter and cheese and occasionally ice cream. We do NOT eat GMO foods at home and I am really against GM. Like I previously said though when we are visiting other people I know their food is not ideal in the least bit but I try and just eat the most whole food type of stuff they have. Which I also get ridiculed for.

We always get the "you are depriving your DD" speech. Because limiting sugar and processed junk and not gibing her cookies and candies is total deprivation!

What is the deal with the goldfish crackers?! I swear it is like a non-stop argument about how my child NEEDS to eat goldfish! WTF?

I just try and ignore people like how I do about everything else (co-sleeping, BFing, non-vax, CDing, GDing, ect)

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by Gator-mom 

I'm glad to have found this thread because I just had a bit of a dramatic event related to this last week...

Same type of situation for me as well.  I am celiac and am VERY careful what and where I eat.  We also avoid GMO's. 

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

We eat meat but it is free range local from a CSA. We only eat organic produce and only eat whole foods really. I make everything homemade. We try to eat more raw foods and we have a limited dairy consumption. We will eat grass-fed butter and cheese and occasionally ice cream. We do NOT eat GMO foods at home and I am really against GM. Like I previously said though when we are visiting other people I know their food is not ideal in the least bit but I try and just eat the most whole food type of stuff they have. Which I also get ridiculed for.

We always get the "you are depriving your DD" speech. Because limiting sugar and processed junk and not gibing her cookies and candies is total deprivation!

What is the deal with the goldfish crackers?! I swear it is like a non-stop argument about how my child NEEDS to eat goldfish! WTF?

I just try and ignore people like how I do about everything else (co-sleeping, BFing, non-vax, CDing, GDing, ect)

OMG! The Goldfish..every time I visit my mom she sends me home with a huge tub of them! You know cause DD LOVES them...Except DD is indifferent to them, will eat 1 or 2 then smoosh the rest all over the place. DH and I end up snacking them late night when we are watching a movie or something.

Mostly its just passive aggressive sarcastic comments because I am disgusted by grocery store meat, I think that GMOs are seriously evil and I aspire to grow/raise most of my own food (hence the siggy)...So yeah we're super weird in our family..

It is the same thing though as a PP mentioned, we were really weird anyway because we co-sleep DD is still nursing (22 months old) we don't do h"punishment" in the conventional sense and we respect DD as her own person with her own desires and wants and I try to respect those within reason instead of just tell her what to do because 'I am the parent"...We are the hippy dippy (their term not mine) weirdos in the family.. 

[CatsCradle]

No, our weirdness is an expected and almost celebrated thing amongst our family and friends.  But for our weirdness, people wouldn't have anything to talk about.  

[Ldavis24]

 I never thought about it that way! What else would the whole damn family gossip about if we weren't being our weird hippie selves?!
 

Originally Posted by CatsCradle 

No, our weirdness is an expected and almost celebrated thing amongst our family and friends.  But for our weirdness, people wouldn't have anything to talk about.  

[sosurreal09]

Well I am sick of it personally but maybe my fam is more extreme with the ridicule...

The other day my grandmother told me to stop BFing DD b/c she is too old ect ect and then ends the "discussion" with "We don't live in a 3rd world country you know!" O_M_G

My sister complains about whatever we eat all the time when she comes over, We have 0 "snacks" b/c we eat fruits and veggies for snacks. All we cook is "health food" and she mostly eats take out so every time she comes she buys take out for herself.

I get the complaining of "You mean we can't even take her to Friendly's once a week?" NO absolutely not!

Every time I turn around someone is giving her a cookie or some ice cream behind my back, they d see her she brings up o not respect my parental decisions at all, but like I said that is in everything I do.

SIL is the absolute worst she tries to pin DH against me, she ridicules me to no end, I really feel like she is just evil lol. We got in a huge fight about circ b/c I had posted some anti-circ stuff on my FB for March. She still won't let it go. Every time I see her she brings up vax. She even asked DH to go with her to the store and she tried to talk him into going to court to get medical custody of our DD so I couldn't make these "dangerous" decisions for my DD. (she is a total dumb bum considering her father could just go get her vaxed without me if he wanted to) I am insane for not having my baby in a hospital ect ect. She is a medical ass. and she thinks she knows so much more than me (even though I was a nurse aide, EKG tech and phlebotomist for 5 years) Yet she thinks eating healthy is pointless and ridiculous. WOW. She is the type of person to ask her LO to eat dinner and then if he doesn't actually says to him "Will you at least eat some cookies and ice cream for me?" She says it doesn't matter what he puts into his body just that he is growing well and a good weight... Oh of course that is all that matters how could I be so niave?

These people drive me crazy! It doesn't help too that DD is only 21lbs at 18 m/o and 3ft tall, but she is tall and thin like her dad, she eats more than any other kid I have seen too and all of my friends say the same thing. She isn't the biggest snacker but she will really sit down and eat her whole meal. It is funny too b/c at home she will not eat any type of crackers or sweets or anything but very healthy food but when we are out she will pretty much eat what is offered. I thought it was so funny when we had a friend stay over and she was eating and giving her DD reeses peices and she gave one to my DD and she spit it out.

[Gator-mom]

Originally Posted by sosurreal09 

him "Will you at least eat some cookies and ice cream for me?" She says it doesn't matter what he puts into his body just that he is growing well and a good weight... Oh of course that is all that matters how could I be so niave?

My MIL does stuff like this all the time.  She'll say, 'OK, just eat two bites and I'll give you a cookie'.  Um..in my book, it's not OK to eat 50/50 real food and junk! 

Sounds like you are around a similar family from us.  My in-laws don't make as many comments about our other ways of raising DS, but the food is a big problem and getting them to actually comply with our wishes is a constant battle. When Ds was young, we had more battles over circumcision, cloth diapering and vaxing.  Now that I am in nursing school, they seem to accept that I do seem to know what is the healthiest for him in those regards.  And I think they get a glimpse of why we are so persistent about food, but at the same time, want to be able to 'spoil' Ds in a way.  The stupid thing is, he's actually totally happy with fruit leather and applesauce as his treats and I even bring them over, but she will not offer that and give him candy instead!  My FIL is the one who opens his big mouth and acts like he knows everything.  But the funny thing is DH can't even stand him to this day because of his stellar parenting skills'.  We used to live with them, and back then, we got into big fights because he explodes over little things, like Ds knocking over a drink when he was one and a half.   Thank goodness we don't have to live with them anymore!

My parents (esp my mom) are total hippies and it would be so much easier if we lived closer to either of them..but since we are pretty much committed to finishing our degree's for now, we are stuck here in Utah for at least the next two years!