My dh has moved out

[mamapajama]

Hello,

This is my first time on this forum.  My husband of ten years and partner of 16 years has moved out leaving me, a homeschooling, stay at home mom of 9 years.  I have two boys ages 8 and 6.  He told them he was moving out because he didn't love me anymore.  They are so sad.  I am so sad.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  Money won't be an issue right away, but I don't have a job and my kids will have to go to school.  They've never been to school.  And I feel so terrible.  He blames me, says I was never happy and he just couldn't take it anymore.  He is bipolar, and we lost a baby last year so things have been difficult for sure.  But he refused counseling.  He bought me a car, gave me some cash and moved into downtown seattle in to a hip little neighborhood about 20 minutes away.  I am in shock.  I am destroyed.

[Lauren82]

I can't even imagine how shocking and painful this must be for you and your children. Do you have someone you can turn to for support? Also, counseling might be a good idea for you right now as you navigate through this.

If you get an attorney you should be able to file for temporary child support, custody and possible alimony. I'd do that before the money runs out. In my state what your husband did would be grounds for at fault abandonment. I'm sure that right now you feel like you can hardly breathe, but definitely get working on legal matters before you find yourself with a pile of bills that can't be paid and hungry mouths to feed.

Please be gentle with yourself, Mama.

[mamapajama]

He did set up a support plan with me for the next 6 months.  I have talked to one lawyer who was a jerk and told me to put my kids in school and get a job. I have recommendations for two more.  It took him a week to move out, after he told me so it has been pure hell.  He moved out last night, so I actually feel a little bit more peaceful about it today.  I just can't believe it.  After all these years I am single.  Alone.  Partnerless in a situation and in a place that we created together.  I am so sad for my beautiful family.  And my poor boys who just learned that when times get tough in a marraige, you should walk away.

):

thanks for your support.

Yes I need to find a therapist.

[rubelin]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. My marriage ended in a similar way, though it took 6 months for him to leave and our kids were younger. I wish I'd gotten a good therapist back then, but the one I found at the time was a lot like that lawyer you saw and I'd leave every appt. even more distraught than when I went in so I quit after a month or 2. I'm now seeing someone fabulous but it's been nearly 4 years that I spent being less than healthy.

[robinchap1]

I just wanted to send a hug and some support.  One day at at time.  You just have to get through today. And you're doing it. Do you have good friends/family nearby?

Hugs.

[kitchensqueen]

Just wanted to offer my support here - you and your kids are strong and will get through this!

Definitely get the legal/financial situation sorted out ASAP - he owes it to you and your kids to make sure they're provided for, even if he's no longer in a relationship with you. Good luck!