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Birds do it... Bees do it... even Ladies in their Forties do it.... 40+++ Spring TTC - Page 7

post #121 of 500

flowersforyou.gifHappy Mothers' Day, you wonderful, beautiful mamas of children that are here and baby spirits that are calling you!!!!


Thank you so much for all your supportive notes. They really lift my spirits. I can see them from my iPod Touch laying down, but can't respond on Mothering that way without stress which I'm trying to avoid. I'm sitting at my computer now, but briefly!! Laying down really seems to keep the bleeding down. I still have my pg symptoms and am hopeful. I've read lots of great stories now about successful pregnancy that had bleeding like this and worse. I'm really more worried about the date issue, though the laying down is a challenge--one I am happy to embrace!! I see our family learning some things about getting support in this time and like to think that this is life's gift to us to learn. Hopefully to be useful when we have another little one. My TCM person has been awesome. She has brought herbs to my house to support the pregnancy and slow the bleeding. I have another u/s scheduled for Thursday.


Shelly, my TCM person is born and raised in the USA, but her ancestors are all Chinese.


Karalina, I am with you on that cycle of life thing, though I wonder if I would feel differently if I thought in my heart that my family was "complete."


Gumblossom, I love that your TCM person is so optimistic for you.



post #122 of 500

waturmama...I have been desperate for news for you!!!!


I just want you to know if "the Secret" works ...I am trying to send strong healthy sticky baby thought to you and your sweet baby :)

post #123 of 500

Waturmama- I too have been desperate for news from you-!!! Continue to rest and be stress -free- well as much as possible- sending you lots of love and good wishes---


Gumblossom--- I think it's fine for you to let nature take its course and let the universe decide- I'm in that boat too-


So ahppy somebody can understnad my cycle/ circle of love thought- it seems so simple until i try to describe it!


love to each of you!

post #124 of 500

Hi guys. I've been lurking.  I love reading all your posts, but I have issues posting at home and unfortunately, can't do much from work.


I went to the ER on Friday. Oh My God. What a disappointment that was. My gyn had referred me to this guy, and he was the classic "Lets get all the doom out of the way up front" type guy. I knew it wouldn't be easy, if it was, I'd be pregnant now...oh more on that in a minute... so he gave me the classic statistics and seemed trying to talk me into IVF with a donor egg, and I'm only going to be 41 next month. I told him I wasn't ready to give up just yet, so he wants to redo my bloodwork. My last bloodwork in November didn't give my gyn a heart attack, he told me they were looking good and then we started clomid in January. Grrr. Seriously. $300 to make me feel more awful than ever. Ugh.


Oh. and there's this.  I had that positive test back on 4/16. I wasn't sure so I posted a picture on Friday, 4/15. Saturday it was positively positive. We had already BD (been doing??) all week in preparation (we are still newlyweds after only a year and a half hee hee!) and then (GRRR) he went on his annual camping trip with his Dad and Brothers on 4/17. Seriously, 5 times between Friday and Sunday.  I plopped in an instead cup after the last one and waited...


AF is late. 8 days today. I spotted on the day she was due, but nothing else. Now I'm on CD 33, and I've had 3 BFN's one even in the ER office on Friday.


Is it possible to test negative at 20 DPO???


I have always had too much of a period. Never NO period. The ER told me that if I didn't start some time this week to test again and then he'd put me on provera to get it going. I'm soooo irritated. I mean, if she had arrived on time, I'd be 8 days into my cycle now! Aaaaaaaaaaa!


I feel like I'm losing my mind. dizzy.gif


post #125 of 500

Writing my sad little birthday post today. So, I turned 40 today and didn't get to greet this day in a happy way after all. DH and I got in a  fight about ttc that ended with him leaving the house and me sitting here alone, ON MY BIRTHDAY. I'm so sad about this. He really tried to make it a good birthday, but since he's so ttc reluctant and all I really want is to get the green light for pregnancy, of course, I wasn't happy enough. I just don't know what to do to with this anymore. I love so much of my life, I just want a 2nd child to love and share all this with. I don't know why that has to be so wrong, so stressful, so disconnected from DH's desires. I thought we were getting some where when he asked me to draw up the contract but he hasn't even read it, two plus weeks later. And now I just feel really hopeless and alone. I want this so deeply. What can't I have it?

post #126 of 500

Stargirl--- weird weird!!! I wish you luck-------


Spiralchrissy---- So so sorry

         birthday.gif    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!namaste.gifblowkiss.gif   



I am so sorry this happened on your birthday.. Mother's Day was like that for me---- completely awful with DH wanting a vasectomy.. All i did was cry. I'm gonna keep trying --- I do all the work anyway! Plus this is my life and I want to have children to make my life more meaningful pleasurable- is it right for someone to take that away from you???


AFM--- i am a day late for AF and I couldn't resist testing and got a BFN.................... uuuggghhhhhhh-------

love to everyone---

oh and contactMaya- the goddess is on her way to you- she's so beautiful.

post #127 of 500
Thread Starter 

Waturmama I too have been awaiting news from you. I am sending you very strong sticky baby wishes and sending my wish for  a happy healthy pregnancy out into the universe. I hope it helps you. 



Stargirl sorry your RE appointment didn't go well. I would wait a week and test again you might have ovulated later than you think or not at all yet. do you chert your temps?


Spiralchrissy so sorry to hear about your birthday. It's for reasons like this that we celebrate birthday week. Just in case your birthday sucks you have 7 whole days to make it better. Hope your birthday week is a great one. And hoping your husband is able to open his heart to the idea of a new LO.



post #128 of 500

WaturMama, thinking of you and your stickystickysticky little one, both of you resting beautifully and preparing for a long, beautiful, healthy pregnancy. love.gif


Karalina, what kind of Dr. are you seeing in Santa Cruz and what is a muscle test? I'm intrigued! I just really love your image of the circle of life. I'm feeling that, too. What a beautiful, life-affirming way to think of it. But ohhhhh, I'm so so sorry that you had a sad mama's day. Here's a hug for you ((( hug ))). I'm sorry that your DH was thinking vasectomy and that you're feeling some disconnect around that. I do think (as I believe Gumblossom said) that we can sometimes let the universe take care of these things. I hope the universe will bring you what you need without your having to worry about other people's desires. stillheart.gif


Stealthee, I'm feeling the love, too! So glad to be sharing this journey with you and all the other mamas here, too. love.gif


Gumblossom, your TCM person sounds amazingly supportive! What a gift. For what it's worth, your strategy doesn't sound deceitful to me. I imagine if your DH felt the need to keep tabs on your cycle, he would ask. Perhaps this is his way of allowing the universe to bring what is brings?


SpiralChrissy, oh gosh, I'm sorry about your birthday! What a bummer. (I like Kristin's family tradition of spreading it out so there's less pressure on that one day... it reminds me of a time when I was young and far from home and homesick on Thanksgiving and I called my dad in tears and he said, "it's just Thursday, honey.") I'm sorry you and your DH are not connecting about this right now. It sounds promising that he was willing to negotiate about this with you previously... I wonder if you should shelf the contract for a bit and just work on listening very heartfully to one another? I hope you find you way toward one another in whatever way is right for you. And... Happy Birthday!!!


StarGirl, I'm sorry your RE experience was disappointing. It sounds like you were pretty prepared for it, though (glad you can put the statistics in context!). As for nudging you toward IVF and ED, this could have a lot more to do with this clinic trying to uphold their pregnancy stats than it does with any assessment of your individual case. You are only 41!  I agree with Kristin that the reason for your confusing cycle could be a late ovulation. That's happened to me.


I had kind of a sad mother's day, too. My own mama is having some health problems that are concerning to me, and I also learned on mother's day that a young (30's) family friend has an extremely rare, very aggressive cancer. It threw me into a tailspin of grief and I spent the evening in tears (hiding them from my DD of course) and didn't sleep last night. It does provide some instant perspective... I feel so lucky to have my DH and my DD and to have the amazing gift of life as a human on this beautiful planet, however long it lasts. Last night all of my senses were filled with the intoxicating delicious scent, touch, sight of my dear ones, here with me for now and I hope for a long time. Of course all of this makes me long even more deeply for a babe!


Other than that, I'm cd9 I think, and preparing for the BD-athon... 


Love to you all!



Edited by LitMama - 5/9/11 at 10:32pm
post #129 of 500

Article from the New York Times on stress and fertility. Study on women over 40 undergoing fertility treatments. (Message: Lowering stress is good. Like we needed a scientist to tell us that.) http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/05/10/lowering-stress-improves-fertility-treatment/

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post #131 of 500


post #132 of 500





post #133 of 500

muscle testing:



LitMama- I just love your responses- what a joy to read-- thank you for mine.

So sorry for the troubling health news of your mother and your family friend. It does have a way of making us appreciate what we have.

My mom died anout 8 years ago- so Mother's Day is always hard for me. we were very close and I just adored her- there is a huge space in my life and heart that cannot be filled.


Thanks contact maya for the BFN hug. If i had got a BFP then my worries and all around PG would be over! I took all my boys to the library yesterday and my 4 yo didn't want to pick out a book at all and then right as we are leaving he grabs a book and says "This looks like a nice book , Mommie- let's get it" and the title is "There's Going to be a Baby".


I am officially handing it over to the universe.


love to all of you!

post #134 of 500

Just wanted to check in. I haven't really had anything to report. I still have no AF, and got a BFN on the 5th. No reason to test again since I've never O'd. I just want AF to get here, so I can get on with my next cycle. Soooo frustrating!!!!

post #135 of 500

Thank you everyone for the support. I appreciate the kind words. You're right about a few things, I know that for sure. It was just Monday, wasn't it, Litmama? And I also believe in an extended birthday as several of you mentioned. And it was good that he was initially interested in the contract idea. I have a friend that I talked to over the weekend. She said that there was a time when her and her DH were locked in a struggle over sex so much that they were barely speaking. She was turning 40 and decided to back up and just try and enjoy sex and relax, setting the agenda aside, and of course she got pregnant with her first when she was 40 yrs and 1 month. She has a healthy 7 year old now and went on at the age of 42 to have another child too. So, I will try to step back from it a bit and breathe tonight. DH and I haven't talked about it at all since yesterday but maybe I'll try to talk to him a bit. 


Your words comfort me. Thank you everyone!


I wish you all sticky baby vives this month.dust.gif

post #136 of 500

Karalina - I love that book. I bought it for my children, for Christmas, it was our way to tell them about the pregnancy. I can't look at the book yet, after the miscarriage, but I look forward to wrapping it and giving it to the kids again. Sorry about the BFN. Ugh!


SpiralChrissy - Happy Birthday. I am so, so sorry about the sadness you feel.I know it very well, and it really hurts. I sometimes wish I was living in the 1950's, and I could just have a bunch of kids without it being a big issue. I wish men would just leave women's business to women! LOL. Of course I'd be kicking and screaming if I didn't get a choice!


I'm only 5DPO and feel nothing. Whatever will be will be. I've ordered a copy of "Ask and it is Given" and can't wait to read it.


Acupuncture went well. We didn't even talk about getting pregnant - she was running late, and we mainly talked about my being stressed because my 20 year old has moved back home. There's too much testosterone in my household at the moment. He has had a hard year and is quite negative and difficult to be with. I keep sending out love and white light to him, but I think it is being reflected off him and sent out into the ether! I just want him to be happy and I can see how self-destructive he is, but he just won't take any advice. It's not easy parenting a grown up - tiny babies and small children are much easier. I'm not going to let it bother me too much and will still try for another babe. I do wonder, though if the Universe sent him back to me because I want a baby? Mothering in a different guise,perhaps?


My DS3 has just told me he has a dirty diaper that needs changing. Yuck!


Waturmama, I hope things are going well for you.

post #137 of 500

CONTACTMAYA.....I get a giggle every time I see your posts....that cap lock must have you drove nuts....lol

...I def don't mind it...makes me smile at all the silly little things that drive us nuts and aren't really that annoying or important in the overall scheme of things :)

post #138 of 500

Kristin0105, you can change my age from 39 to 40 now. Sigh.


We are taking a short break of a month or two, because I'm getting obsessive again. It's been six cycles since my MC and ten cycles since we started TTC #2 last summer. It took two years with my first, and I was so hopeful that this time around I wouldn't have to wait so long.


I'm dreading reaching July without a BFP. That's when the last pregnancy, the one I lost in November, would have been due.


I know many of you have been through much worse, so I apologize for the pity party.


I'll be back and more supportive and participatory in a month or so!


Baby dust to everyone!!! dust.gif

post #139 of 500

Ladies it was nice to catch up with you all.

I have been a busy little bee, no preggo news to report to you.  Just a note that I am still lerking around....cheering for you all.



post #140 of 500

I just love all of you and am so happy to have you all in my life-

Litmama- i wear the bracelet all the time- that came with the goddess- on my trip i saw it on my arm while I was driving and thought "I wouldn't rather have a piece of jewelry be from anyone else- than a sweet mama that understands my joy and my pain." thank you-

and thank you all for the warm love and support we all offer each other..............

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