Ok, I need some advice mamas! My DD is 23 months and we're expecting #2 any day now. DD is still BF, though with the pregnancy my milk dried up months ago, and it's really just comfort nursing 4-5 times a day for a minute or less.
So DH has been pressuring me more and more in the last couple of months to wean her completely before the baby arrives. He has two main reasons: 1) there won't be enough milk for the baby if the toddler is clamoring for it too, and 2) she will be less dependent upon me, especially at night, which means he'll be able to help more.
Now, #1 is just an issue of him not really understanding how tandem nursing works, so I think if I dug up some good articles on Kellymom or something that would likely solve that problem. But #2 has been a point of increasing contention lately.
DD wakes anywhere from 2-7 times during the night. The night wakings have improved since we nightweaned a few months ago, and are particularly better since we moved her out of our bed into a toddler bed at night. But still, on a bad night she'll wake half a dozen times calling for me from her room. This is getting more and more troublesome as I get more and more pregnant. When I wake DH and send him in to take care of her so I can get more sleep, she goes absolutely hysterical on him, screaming and sobbing "Mama, Mama, Mama" over and over until I go in to take over. If I go in on my own, I can tuck her in and soothe her and she's asleep again in 5 minutes. Generally, I don't even bother waking him since he can't help anyway -- which means that I'm grumpy and angry and frustrated on bad nights because he's snoring away peacefully and I'm hauling my pregnant butt out of bed every hour. Heaven help him if he wakes up and says, "Honey, what's wrong?"
So we're all tired and frustrated at this point, which is making us all a bit less reasonable, but DH is putting on a lot of pressure about weaning now. He is convinced that the reason she won't let him near her at night is because she is still BF (even though she is nightweaned and has been for months), and that the only way for him to be able to take over nighttime parenting for her is for me to stop nursing her altogether.
This sounds totally ridiculous to me, but for him it's the most reasonable option. I can't imagine it's a good idea (or even possible) to wean a determined toddler when a new sibling is due any minute... isn't that an awful lot of transition all at once? Plus, I'm not at all sure it will make a difference in the least at night.
Incidentally, she does fine overnight with my parents -- when she wakes asking for me, they just say, "she's not here, go back to sleep," and she does, no fuss. It's only with DH that she goes ballistic. Is the solution for me to sleep in the car for a few weeks, or what???