Just at a loss with my six year old. - Page 3

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by hakeber 

hmmm Interesting...how so?  The most harsh shut down policy posts on the board have been from parents who mostly have kids in the 2-5 range. Or do you mean if they'd had older kids they'd be less harsh?

I think that is exactly right.  I don't know about other people, but as my dd has gotten older I have definitely started to relax a lot when it comes to parenting.  I think at first I was so worried about how she would turn out someday that I overreacted a lot.  As my dd got older I started letting a lot of things go and things still turn out really well.  I have heard that this often happens with the first child because they are like the guinea pig and that parents calm down a lot and loosen up with the rest of the kids. 

I think that your questioning has been very helpful and that when a consequence/punishment seems harsh it should be questioned for clarification.  I know that following threads like this has helped me to grow towards being a more relaxed parent and I appreciate those who question because I like to be challenged to think about what I am doing because I tend to fall into lazy mode at times.

[mom2grrls]

True, I see what you mean.  Thanks for explaining.  I don't think kids(little ones anyway) MEAN to be hurtful though, do you?  I think most of the time they're just working through feelings.  When my son started with the "I hate you", and "you're stupid" stuff, He had no idea how hurtful that was.

Even when older kids choose to use hurtful words (thinking here of my students and my own adolescence) I don't think  that they want to hurt me as much as they want to convey their hurt. >>>>>>>

I agree.  My son is 6(about to be 7) and he can still say some hurtful things however i know it's not b/c he hates me or thinks that i'm stupid.  He says those things when he feels overwhelmed or like he can't get control.  He does not like to be left when this happens so it takes all I have to just let him lash for a moment w/out saying anything.

I will agree with the older kid thing too as I see it every once in a while with my oldest(12 going to be 13 this year though) and with kids at school.  They're figuring out how to deal with new stuff.