I can totally see where you are coming from here. It is a compliment, and an opinion, which we are all entitled to, but if you read into it, it could be taken as an insult for sure.
I can't believe I used to say stuff like that all the time, but in my head, I was thinking I just love dark skin. I never said it to a mixed race couple...I used to just say it in general to my friends sometimes...not that it makes it any better!
Come to think of it, I did ask someone recently about her daughter's hair. She is of Asian decent and her daughter has light hair, but I already met the dad and knew he was caucasian. I don't remember what I said, but I followed it up with "my husband and I both have black hair, and my daughter had light hair like that too". I don't know if she ever met my husband, who is from Central America. I was just curious because I also married a person of another race...I thought I was just making conversation about our children's similarities, but after reading all these comments I am beginning to think I could have offended her in some way! You learn something new every day! Thanks Mothering!
I didn't have the luxury of growing up in a diverse community, and I grew up in the 70s, so that can shape my opinions, I suppose. I would hope that kids growing up in ethnically diverse communities these days don't go around saying "mixed kids are cuter"...or at least if they do, that their parents let them know that it is not always a welcomed comment...Some people who are in a "mixed" marriage may not appreciate their being singled out as "cuter" and some who are not "mixed" might not like the implication of being less attractive.
Most white people I know find something very attractive about dark skin (tanning salons?). Some women I know from Latin countries think that women with lighter skin are more beautiful. Weird, isn't it?
When I would say "mixed kids are cuter" amongst friends, I wasn't saying "the lighter the better" as far as African people go. I was probably saying "the darker the better" as far as white people go, since I loved dark skin! So people are probably insulting your ancestors and not your husbands....not that it makes it better but maybe it will clarify it a bit. I guess I was almost racist against my own skin color, saying I didn't find it as attractive as darker skin...??? It was just my opinion, but I should have kept it to myself, as I can now see how it can be offensive.
Edited by jmarroq - 7/29/12 at 7:27pm