So Dad and I have joint custody but I am the primary parent. We have been working things out and agree on most of everything. Well dad called me and told me that he will be going out of town on a business trip. So I made arrangements for our son to be cared for by friends on the evenings that he is with dad while dad is out of town ( I am a working mother on those evenings). Dad has our son on Monday and Tuesday evening I have him the rest of the time. Dad and I agreed to the arrangements at the time.
Well Dad called me yesterday and begged me to let his Parents (grandparents on his side) pull our son out of school and take him to Hawaii with them for 2 weeks instead. Of course I said no! and that I do not give consent to pull our son out of school for a vacation that Dad will not be attending and that he should vacation accordingly around the school calendar.
Now for the past 48 hours everytime Dad and I have a conversation Dad begs me to let the grandparents pull our son out of school for 2 weeks and he wont take no for an answer.
Dad feels that our son going to Hawaii with his grandparents is more important than passing the second grade. By the way Dad takes our son to Hawaii at least twice a year sometimes more so he more than likely will have the opportunity to go again.
Our son cannot afford to be pulled out of school and he is falling behind in school and is close to repeating the second grade. I feel that pulling him out of school and on short notice has some serious consequences. I also feel that Dad is setting a poor example to our son about how seriously he should take his education. Reward him by taking him to Hawaii during the school year only teaches him to not take education seriously later in life.
Again Dad will not take no for an answer. He just text me that his parents will be picking our son up for school this Friday and will return him to school in two weeks. Again, defying me and disrespecting my decision to keep our son in school.
I feel that the grandparents will defy me show up to school on Friday and pull him out even though I firmly told Dad no and that his parents do not have my consent to pull him out of school.
Also to make matters worse, Dad stated to me that our son will be deeply hurt because his younger sister (who is not in grade school) gets to go to Hawaii and he doesn't. Trying to make me feel bad. I am so upset right now about his behavior and choice to using me as a scapegoat and setting a poor example for our son.
What to Do and How do I handle this in an appropriate matter and without making a scene.