Call for help - excessive night feeding at 3 months

[EllisH]

I am breastfeeding my 3-month old son on demand and we are co-sleeping with a sidecrib.  He's always wanted to eat every 2-3 hours during the day and has never slept longer than 3,5 hours at a time at night.  It's been hard (esp. as the weeks go on), but if I have found a way to deal with.

But now, as of recently, he wants to feed every 2 hours or so at night.  Take out the feeding time, getting him back to sleep soundly, and falling asleep myself again - and you've only got 1 hour left in between feedings.  This is unsustainable for me: in the morning I wake up exhausted and extremely cranky.  Anyone any advice on how I can get him to sleep for slightly longer stretches (I am not even thinking STTN)?  I am not even 100% sure he wants to eat when he wakes me up.  That being said, I've tried to ignore his fussing, hoping it was just some cramps he had - but then he would begin to cry and indeed feed if I then offered him my breast.

Btw, unlike me, he is absolutely thriving.  He weighs already over 15,5 lbs, is strong and alert, and cheerful and relaxed during the day (mostly). 

Any advice will be so much appreciated!

Edited by EllisH - 4/19/11 at 4:35am

[womenswisdom]

If you are able to just bring him into the bed with you, you can wake up for 2 minutes to get him latched on and then fall back asleep.  I did the same thing with my first and the co-sleeper, but the problem is in terms of how much time it takes to feed, he may as well have been in a crib in another room.  One of the main benefits of co-sleeping is that you get more sleep and it wasn't happening for me!  He may be going through a growth spurt and need more nighttime feedings, which are more nutritionally-dense.  If he's waking up and actually nursing every time, I really don't think there is anything you can do to make him sleep longer, you just have to figure out how you can feed him and still get the sleep you need.

[EllisH]

Originally Posted by womenswisdom 

If you are able to just bring him into the bed with you, you can wake up for 2 minutes to get him latched on and then fall back asleep.  I did the same thing with my first and the co-sleeper, but the problem is in terms of how much time it takes to feed, he may as well have been in a crib in another room. 

Thanks - I have started to sleep with him in my bed from around 6am, but the sleep I then get is just not very deep, I cannot fully relax.  I do agree that the co-sleeper bed might as well have been in another room, in terms of how the effort it takes to feed him.  But I do like him being close to me and being able to hear him (although that also may be part of the problem).

I am so exhausted, I really need something to change.  Am so tired now that I cannot even nap during the day when he's asleep.

[Twinklefae]

It's probably a growth spurt.  They happen at 3 months.  (And 6 months, so you'll be ready.)

[Asiago]

I was an absolute zombie for the first 2-3 months with my son next to me in a co-sleeper. Once he began sleeping in our bed life got much easier. 

You could always try it out (for an entire night) and see if you feel better. If not, revert back to the side car crib.

Edited by Asiago - 4/21/11 at 1:07pm

[Bokonon]

Have you considered side-carring a crib to your bed?  That way baby has his own sleeping surface but you won't have to pick him up to feed him.  

Honestly, the every 2 hours is not abnormal.  Both my kids did that until well past 6 months (though they did do longer stretches here and there).  That wasn't particularly typical, but there is such a wide range of "normal".

Hang in there, it gets easier, I promise!

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Twinklefae 

It's probably a growth spurt.  They happen at 3 months.  (And 6 months, so you'll be ready.)

This. Hopefully soon you'll be getting more sleep again!

[JudiAU]

Sounds like a growth spurt and if so, you really need to let him nurse. Have you tried the side-lying position while in bed? I found it much easier for us both to drift off to sleep and there was less need to wait until baby was totally awake, move baby, settle baby etc.

[EllisH]

Thanks everyone for the responses!  It's reassuring to know it's probably a growth spurt (meaning it will pass and that he does need the feedings indeed).  I had a nap with him in the bed in the side-lying position yesterday: it was indeed very comfortable and he had a much longer nap than usual.  So I'll try it out at night as well.  Any advice on how I can make sure he won't get under the blankets?  I have a duvet right now, but can replace it with sheets and blanket.  Also, he has his own sleeping bag, so that may help as well.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by EllisH 

Thanks everyone for the responses!  It's reassuring to know it's probably a growth spurt (meaning it will pass and that he does need the feedings indeed).  I had a nap with him in the bed in the side-lying position yesterday: it was indeed very comfortable and he had a much longer nap than usual.  So I'll try it out at night as well.  Any advice on how I can make sure he won't get under the blankets?  I have a duvet right now, but can replace it with sheets and blanket.  Also, he has his own sleeping bag, so that may help as well.

What I found worked for my and my little one was no sheet (it got tangled and scared me and him!) and a duvet that covers me, and now that he is older covers him too. At that age I felt more comfortable with covers only to my waist and a warm shirt on (with easy access to the breasts!) and DS in a warm sleeper. I had to experiment (during naps together) to find what worked best for us.

[EllisH]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener 

What I found worked for my and my little one was no sheet (it got tangled and scared me and him!) and a duvet that covers me, and now that he is older covers him too. At that age I felt more comfortable with covers only to my waist and a warm shirt on (with easy access to the breasts!) and DS in a warm sleeper. 

Thanks for the advice - I'll try tucking in half my duvet at the bottom and getting my upper half warm.  Sounds like a good setup.

[ShanaV]

Agreeing with the pp's -- it's normal to nurse every 2 hours. I've got it times two! Side lying in bed is very comfortable. Just practice a bit and it will get easier. 

I push all the blankets down around my legs and keep the baby up near the boobs. Sometimes I'll use just a sheet up to my waist level. Luckily I don't live in a very cold clime so it hasn't been an issue. You can put the baby in a swaddle, or a sleep sack, or what have you.

[greenmulberry]

I wear a long sleeve shirt that is easy to pull up, and only have a woven cotton blanket for covers. You know the kind of light weaving that you can kind of see through the weaves? It is warm but you could breathe easily with it over a face.

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by EllisH 
  Any advice on how I can make sure he won't get under the blankets?  I have a duvet right now, but can replace it with sheets and blanket.  Also, he has his own sleeping bag, so that may help as well.

Safety guidelines for co-sleeping (bed sharing) from University Notre Dame's mother/child sleep lab:

http://nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/guide.html

[Greenlea]

My 5mth old DS gets up about every 2 hrs to nurse at night still.  During his recent growth spurt he was up every HOUR!  And recently he has stopped wanting me to nurse him laying down.  So I now have to actually sit up and nurse him.  Its tough I know, I'm exhausted and still have my 2yr old to care for.  My DH usually lets me recooperate on the weekends though, which helps.

[MadTown16]

I understand how you feel.  My four month old has been waking up every 2-3 hours on average to nurse since birth and it's hard and tiring.  I agree with the other posters that co-sleeping/side lying nursing is an absolute lifesaver.  I am a light sleeper and DS is a very fidgety sleeper so I don't sleep very well with him in bed.   Even though I don't sleep that well, it is still way way better than being completely awake for hours at at time each night.  

Some other things that have worked to improve my sleep are: starting him out in his crib and DH taking him in the morning.  We start him in his crib at the beginning of the night and keep him in the crib until after my husband and I have fallen asleep.  I find that I sleep much better next to DS if I have already been asleep for at least an hour or two when he comes into bed.  It also works with our schedule for my husband to take DS when he wakes up in the morning (usually around 6) so I can have the bed to myself for a couple of hours of good deep sleep.  Those two hours of uninterrupted solo sleep are a lifesaver, especially after a restless night.  If you can work out some kind of arrangement like that I would highly recommend it!