Abstinence Only sex "education"

[AtYourCervices]

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Edited by AtYourCervices - 7/17/11 at 6:47pm

[Greenlea]

Is this a Christian based school or a public school?  If it is a public school, they have no right teaching abstinence based on Christian beliefs. 

[AtYourCervices]

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Edited by AtYourCervices - 7/17/11 at 6:46pm

[Linda on the move]

Abstinence only sex education is currently the norm at public schools.

Is the program actually a Christian program? That you could really make some waves about.  Anything about god is off limits.

The abstinence only part really isn't something that making a sink about will effect anything.

You can opt out, but ask exactly what your child will be doing during that time. At our public school, they divided the kids by gender for sex ed, having all the girls from two classrooms go to one room and all the boys go to the other. One gender had a study hall while the other had sex ed with the school nurse, and then it switched. (our program was an hour a week for 6 weeks)

So if I had opted my DD out of it, she would have gone to another classroom with all the boys from two classrooms and had a study hall. Which I felt was really, really inappropriate.

She went ahead and had "sex miseducation" as we decided to call it as a family. The good part was that every week she had a discussion sheet that she had to have signed by me, so I always knew the highlights of what she was being told. It was really present more balanced information, and on the plus side, we had a bunch of conversations about sex, bought some new books, etc., so it was a positive thing in her life.

The school really can't undo all your good parenting through silly stuff like this. Don't give it more power than it has, which really isn't very much.

[philomom]

Yep, just do better parenting. Make sure your kid knows the true big picture of human sexuality. Abstinence only is ridiculous in my book because sex is part of a healthy adulthood.

[AtYourCervices]

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Edited by AtYourCervices - 7/17/11 at 6:45pm

[imagine21]

So sorry you have to deal with this garbage.  I would make a huge stink about the Christian affiliation of these groups dictating school curriculum.  I would ask to attend the program and add my opinion whenever I thought that the presenters were pushing a religious agenda.

[JudiAU]

Originally Posted by AtYourCervices 

It is Christian based, talking about "Absolute Truths", connected with Heartbeat International, Teens for Life, True Love Waits, Silver Ring Thing, Focus on the Family, "Medical Institute" and more. It's disgusting, really.

Wow. In a public school? Make a stink time for sure.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

So if I had opted my DD out of it, she would have gone to another classroom with all the boys from two classrooms and had a study hall. Which I felt was really, really inappropriate.

She went ahead and had "sex miseducation" as we decided to call it as a family. 

I'm just curious, why would it be inappropriate for your daughter to have a study hall with her male peers? The study hall part or the fact that she is in a classroom full of boys?

Also I love "sex miseducation"...Love it!

[EFmom]

That is repulsive.  But Ignorance Only programs are pretty common.

My kids take OWL at the UU church my husband takes them to.  While I think OWL is a terrific program (and is the primary reason for our UU involvement), there is no way on earth a public school could ever offer something like that. It just would not fly with the overwhelming majority of parents, because gawd forbid that kids get comprehensive information.

I think in your situation I would put up a stink about the Christian orientation of the program.  If you know of other parents who would object, by all means organize something.

In the meanwhile, I'd do as Linda on the Move suggests.  It is a good opportunity for conversation with your child.

[amma_mama]

I would absolutely raise a stink about that. The Christian aspects have no place in a public school. If the planned curriculum does not change, then I would pull my child from school during those times. There is no way that I want my kids being subjected to that. I would explain to them why and use it as an opportunity for teaching them as I see fit. No need to make them sit through it in order to make it into a learning opportunity for them.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by amma_mama 

I would absolutely raise a stink about that. The Christian aspects have no place in a public school. If the planned curriculum does not change, then I would pull my child from school during those times. There is no way that I want my kids being subjected to that. I would explain to them why and use it as an opportunity for teaching them as I see fit. No need to make them sit through it in order to make it into a learning opportunity for them.

While I agree with you.. the Op is in Georgia.. its just assumed that EVERYONE is xtian. This is in the top ten of why we moved away from there. So sure, fight the good fight but don't be surprised when you don't very far.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I'm just curious, why would it be inappropriate for your daughter to have a study hall with her male peers? The study hall part or the fact that she is in a classroom full of boys?

Also I love "sex miseducation"...Love it!

This was in 6th grade. The kids were all pretty goofy/silly/embarrassed about the whole thing, so to take that highly charged environment and single her out with just the boys *might* have caused some stupid comments from the boys. Under normal circumstances being the only girl in a class would be odd, but not that big of a deal. To be the only girl in the room while all the boys know that the rest of the girls are in the next room talking about SEX is really not something that 11-12 year old boys could handle.  It wasn't something she wanted to experience and I really respected that.

For us, it became part of my on-going speech that I really respect her choices and will always back them up, that I have faith in her to make good choices for herself.

We used the whole thing as a learning experience. She got to hear for herself first hand the arguments for absence and we discussed them. It was a valuable experience. Part of whether or not that can happen really depends on your child and their ability to think critically, and your OKness with them hearing different points of view.
 

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

This was in 6th grade. The kids were all pretty goofy/silly/embarrassed about the whole thing, so to take that highly charged environment and single her out with just the boys *might* have caused some stupid comments from the boys. Under normal circumstances being the only girl in a class would be odd, but not that big of a deal. To be the only girl in the room while all the boys know that the rest of the girls are in the next room talking about SEX is really not something that 11-12 year old boys could handle.  It wasn't something she wanted to experience and I really respected that.

For us, it became part of my on-going speech that I really respect her choices and will always back them up, that I have faith in her to make good choices for herself.

We used the whole thing as a learning experience. She got to hear for herself first hand the arguments for absence and we discussed them. It was a valuable experience. Part of whether or not that can happen really depends on your child and their ability to think critically, and your OKness with them hearing different points of view.
 

ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...I actually loved it. I got an A+ in the class (bragging WOO) and basically knew everything they were teaching, so thanks high school health class...

Linda, you sound like you are handling it so well! I actually agree that being able to be in the class is a great start for a conversation about all the problems with abstinence only education or just recognizing that there is a lot more to "it"....You are such a good mama!

I would have been mortified by being stuck in a room full of boys in that situation at that age, I already had big boobs and it was miserable enough with young boys like that...Ick.

The only reason I would pull DD from an abstinence only sex ed class is if it was specifically religiously geared. I would not abide that at all.

[Linda on the move]

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

  Maybe the district could hire you as an efficiency expert. 
 

[SpringMom]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with a program that you don't trust.  I teach 'Family Life' for 6th-graders in California and I think that it is a great program for the age level. I attended a 2-day training in order to teach and I felt that even I learned a great deal!   My favorite conversations with students always happen during those classes.  I hope you are able to find a resolution for the issue.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

holy cow...If I had only known having sex would give me both AIDS and a baby which would destroy my life but I would die anyway....
 

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

Jeez. I've had lots of sex... no Aids and only two babies. Am I missing out?

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...I actually loved it. I got an A+ in the class (bragging WOO) and basically knew everything they were teaching, so thanks high school health class...

 
Our district starts "sex ed" in 4th grade.  It is kind of a misnomer because they start out very, very slow.  The first year is basically covering changes of puberty.  Never (in elementary school) do they cover actual *sex*.  I think they put it off way too late, myself.

Edited by TiredX2 - 4/22/11 at 9:41am