Abstinence Only sex "education" - Page 2

[Mama2Xander]

Roy Zimmerman has a song called "Abstain with me" which he introduces by comparing "abstinence only" sex ed to "just hold it" potty training. You can find it on YouTube, it's pretty hilarious. 

[Cyllya]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...

I remember it starting in 5th grade when I was in school, and it would have been pretty horrifying to have it be any later. The earlier the better so as to minimize the number of girls who wake up one morning wondering, "OMIGOD WHY IS MY CROTCH BLEEDING?!?!?!?" (Also to minimize how many sanitary napkins get flushed in the school toilets because the kids don't know any better.)

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Cyllya 

I remember it starting in 5th grade when I was in school, and it would have been pretty horrifying to have it be any later. The earlier the better so as to minimize the number of girls who wake up one morning wondering, "OMIGOD WHY IS MY CROTCH BLEEDING?!?!?!?" (Also to minimize how many sanitary napkins get flushed in the school toilets because the kids don't know any better.)

Honestly I am young, 25, and I just can't remember doing anything sex ed related at all until high school...So weird, I must have had a health class or something..
 

[love4bob]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

Honestly I am young, 25, and I just can't remember doing anything sex ed related at all until high school...So weird, I must have had a health class or something..
 

I'm 23, and we had our first health class like that in 5th grade. They basically talked about puberty and changes we would go though... oh and we got a goody bag with deodorant, a pad, and a tampon, as well as information. We were pretty mortified by it at that age. haha.

[MamaofLiam]

I am 30 and grew up in California. Sex-ed started for me in 5th grade where they separated boys from girls and pretty much just covered anatomy and puberty changes. Then I don't really remember anything until high school. But I think there might have been something in between that... I just can't remember. I remember the sex ed lady putting a condom on a banana though (in HS) to illustrate how to use a condom. There were a lot of awkward giggles. For us it definitely wasn't abstinence only sex-ed. 

I'm curious though, what exactly do they teach in an abstinence only sex-ed class? Do they cover birth control? Different forms of protection from STDs? ...

[treeoflife3]

we had an anatomy/puberty class in 5th grade with boys and girls separated and we revisited that info in 6th grade briefly.  We had a slightly more in depth class in 8th grade that included a birth video and then everyone was required to take one semester of health at some point in high school.  They only just touched on std's and if the planned parenthood kids group hadn't visited, we wouldn't have even learned how to properly use a condom (although I already knew.)

We absolutely did NOT have enough education.  By senior year, I still knew kids who thought you couldn't get pregnant the first time or if the girl was on top or only used the pull and pray method (without any understanding of ovulation/cycles and such.)  We had quite a few pregnant kids every year, including sophomores.  I don't remember any freshmen ever being pregnant, but it was large school so I didn't know or see everyone so all gossip couldn't reach me either.  The nurse also had free condoms for anyone, as did the school social worker (who was an awesome woman and had much better books on the subject in her office) but people just laughed at that and thought it was weird and rarely USED them.

I'd be really bothered if I sent my daughter to school with a bunch of people who only learn christian based sex education.  It would really worry me about the trouble her friends could get into and the trouble her partners might attempt with her, not taking what SHE will know seriously.  I'll have to really really hope she has the confidence and maturity to protect herself and hopefully help her closer friends protect themselves.  I was with a guy once who was an idiot about sex... it was really difficult.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by MamaofLiam 

I'm curious though, what exactly do they teach in an abstinence only sex-ed class? Do they cover birth control? Different forms of protection from STDs? ...

they teach that they are ineffective, that the only way to be sure to not get pregnant or have an STD is to not have sex.

So rather than teaching kids to use condemns, how to put them on, etc., they present the kids with statistics showing how ineffective they are. 

It drove me batty. It was all I could do to not say, "well, grown ups have sex all the time. Really, you guys wouldn't believe often Daddy and I have sex. And yet most adults end up with 2 or 3 kids, because although BC isn't prefect, when used correctly (as if your life depends on it), it words pretty darn well. Most people, after realizing how much work kids are, get really serious about BC, using 2 or more methods at a time, because the bottom line is -- sex feels really good, so people use BC carefully so they can have sex and not have more children."

[Adaline'sMama]

They did some super cheesy demonstration about how your virginity was like a pearl in the ocean when I was in 8th grade. We were always taught abstenince only education in the public schools I attended in Alabama. We did once have a guy come in and talk to us about date rape and how common rape is and how to report it, ect. He gave us free condoms and the teachers had a cow. They actually attempted to collect them from us!!!! On a side note, the local grocery store in the small town I live in (only grocery) refuses to sell condoms because "you shouldnt need condoms if you are using sex for god's intended purpose, procreation." Im about to start a letter writing campaign to both the grocery store owner and the high school (no sex ed). We have the third highest teen pregnancy in the nation, you think they'd get the hint!

[SubliminalDarkness]

Shoot, I'm 28 and we started sex ed in 4th grade, and that was in Alabama! 

[PatienceAndLove]

Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.I suggest that since you decided to send your children to the public school that you allow them to hear both sides of the sex education argument- the abstinence-only approach, and whatever approach you have.  This will allow your children a more balanced world view.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove 

Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.

That's hysterical!  My kids have homeschooled, attended public school for a couple of years, and currently attend a private school.  There ain't a perfect option, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or hasn't had much experience with their *perfect* option.

The bottom line is we all have slightly different choices, and we make the best overall choice that we can for our kids. And we deal with the parts of that choice that are less than ideal. One year, for our family, that was sex-miseducation.

I do agree that it allowed my children a more balanced world view -- they've now heard the arguments for no sex before marriage and thought critical about them. 

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove 

Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.I suggest that since you decided to send your children to the public school that you allow them to hear both sides of the sex education argument- the abstinence-only approach, and whatever approach you have.  This will allow your children a more balanced world view.

 
yeah because I know I look to public schools for my CHRISTIAN based abstinence only sex education

Oh wait they are public schools so they should specifically being avoiding that but whatever, I forgot everyone was supposed to accept Christianity as the be all end all authority of every topic in a America. Especially SEX!

[amma_mama]

Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove 

Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.I suggest that since you decided to send your children to the public school that you allow them to hear both sides of the sex education argument- the abstinence-only approach, and whatever approach you have.  This will allow your children a more balanced world view.

Sorry, there is no place for religious-based teachings in a public school. If I want my kids to have a Christian/Jewish/Muslim/Hindu/Buddhist/Whatever based teaching, I would send them to the appropriate private school or homeschool. I have a reasonable expectation that no such teachings will make their way into a public school irrespective of the majority religion in an area. What the OP describes is simply not acceptable in a public school.

[PatienceAndLove]

Did you express your concerns during the school board meeting in which the curriculum was presented? All new curricula must be presented in an open school board meeting in which parents and community members can attend to view the curricula and state their concerns over it.  Also, when you your schoolboard members were campaigning, did you attend rallies and meetings to inquire about their views on sex education?

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove 

Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.I suggest that since you decided to send your children to the public school that you allow them to hear both sides of the sex education argument- the abstinence-only approach, and whatever approach you have.  This will allow your children a more balanced world view.

Are you just against teaching sex education in a sex positive way? Do you, yourself, believe in abstinence only education or are you just trying to prove some kind of point that she should be fighting harder to keep her childs education "public". Seriously, PUBLIC education should be just that. Education for the public, not education targeting or pleasing specific religious groups.
 

Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness 

Shoot, I'm 28 and we started sex ed in 4th grade, and that was in Alabama! 

Interesting. It must vary school by school. Im 27 and I went to high school in Shelby County. I was not learning about sex in 4th grade. In fact, I was the first person to get my period in 5th grade there wasnt one single girl in my class that knew why I was bleeding. I was made fun of for it, and there was no attempt at talking about it or why it was happening.

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

Are you just against teaching sex education in a sex positive way? Do you, yourself, believe in abstinence only education or are you just trying to prove some kind of point that she should be fighting harder to keep her childs education "public". Seriously, PUBLIC education should be just that. Education for the public, not education targeting or pleasing specific religious groups.
 

I am against anyone other than parents teaching sex education to children.
 

[Magelet]

I'm 20, and we had a class in 4th or 5th grade (public school), that was basically puberty basics. (anatomy, periods, cramps, etc). I transfered to a private school in middle school, and we had sex ed in 7th grade that covered actual sex, the physiology of conception, and basics of contraception. In high school (private), we had pretty awesome health classes, including some sex positive folks from a non-profit who gave out clean needles on AIDS, a minimal harm drug guy who tried to talk about which drugs were less bad for different types of people, but ended up sounding like he was pushing drugs, which cracked us all up ("LSD does the same thing in your brain as going to a museum or learning new things, except 1000s of times more"), a class with condoms and a fake penis (circumcised. no bananas there) and the ring and pills and the implant and an actual IUD to look at, and a class where we had to guess how much a shot of vodka looked like in a dixie cup, etc.

Despite having pretty decent (comparatively) sex ed, I still learned pretty much everything I learned as a kid/teen about sex from my parents and/or books my parents got me. (Ok, I learned how to put a condom on in class)

So definitely, make a fuss over the christian content, but remember that you have their whole youth to teach your kids sex ed, and the school will teach it for maybe 18-25 hours total over their entire schooling period.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by PatienceAndLove 

I am against anyone other than parents teaching sex education to children.
 

yeah thats all well and good for you...but the reality is and has been shown that doesn't work at all.... So you can be "against it" but that isn't going to lower the teen pregnancy rate one iota. Most parents DON'T teach their kids anything about sex because they are too embarrassed, hence the schools have to jump in and do it for them. Not an easy position for the schools. I can't stand when people say "well the parents should be the only ones teaching it" which is another way of saying, "I don't think the kids should learn about it at all".

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

yeah thats all well and good for you...but the reality is and has been shown that doesn't work at all.... So you can be "against it" but that isn't going to lower the teen pregnancy rate one iota. Most parents DON'T teach their kids anything about sex because they are too embarrassed, hence the schools have to jump in and do it for them. Not an easy position for the schools. I can't stand when people say "well the parents should be the only ones teaching it" which is another way of saying, "I don't think the kids should learn about it at all".

I agree. My friends knew next to nothing in early puberty. The rumor mill made up all kinds of stuff about sex and conception. Scary stuff.

Not only did my parents give me a few basics but they made sure I had plenty of reading material. Not big talk at our house... but quietly making sure we all knew the facts.

[lauren]

As weird as the school policy is, it's a great opportunity for you to keep a very open dialogue with your kids, comparing and contrasting what they learn at school with 'real life' and your values at home.