My strong-willed daughter

[KinderKim]

Hello,

I am looking for some advice.

My daughter took an assessment yesterday at the school we are considering sending her to next year. She is 3 and going into Pre-K. I went to the debriefing and the first words out of the principal's mouth were,"You have a very strong willed daughter." She did excellent on all the academic stuff. The teacher said academically she could easily be placed with the kindergarten students next year. She is very good at math and language. She struggles with fine motor skills. The teacher was unable to get her to complete any task she was not comfortable doing. She refused to color, write her name, and sing in music class. Even when she was told it was okay if she got the answer wrong and just to try her best, she refused.  The could not complete the assessment beacuse she would not comply.

I wasn't suprised to here this. I know how Alaina likes to have things perfect. When she writes her name for me she gets upset that it doesnt look as nice as when I write it. I have explained to her that she is 3 and her work will look like a 3 yr old's work. I 've told her how nice her work looks but she still freaks out and refuses to try.

She will not ride her  bike becuase she is not good at it. She gives up on games when she is losing. Even at her current school she will not do what her teacher asks her to do.

Is this typical 3 yr old behavior? Should I be concerned? The school seemed kind of concerned. How can she be successful if she refuses to try new things?? Will she just outgrow this "phase"?

Any advice welcome!

Thanks, Kim

[Galatea]

I was like this and my 2nd son is like this.  It is especially common among the gifted, especially when the mind's vision exceeds the body's current capacity.

I didn't learn until this year that though some things will not come to me instantly, if I apply effort, my intelligence will still serve me well.  For example, I always thought I could not run b/c of some physical inaptitude b/c when I did try, I got tired quickly.  Then this year I figured that if I kept running, it would get easier, and I wasn't lacking ability or talent.

Now I make a point of telling my son that he will not always know how to do things right ahead of time, but he will learn and get better.

[Sorilla]

She looks like typical perfectionist gifted child and need some room to grow, I would not try to standardize her and be like normal child. She will quickly learn her social skills as she inevitably grows and then she will adjust to all requirements of the teachers better than many other kids I think....You are lucky to have such kid