Do you have any peace and quiet in your life?

[berry987]

I am a big fan of simplifying - we have very little clutter, our kids do almost no outside activities (they are only 6, 4 and 2...so not exactly a huge feat at this point), I am a SAHM and my DH works a steady 40 hr work week (home by 4:30-5pm most days). So, we don't live the "typical" go-go-go American life with extracurricular activities and two careers and no time to breathe. But, still, we three active little boys (and another one the way), our lives are still hectic, loud, and exhausting. 

I'm just wondering - does anyone have peace and quiet in their days? I love to read, but really only have time when I climb in bed and I am so exhausted by then that I close my book after 3 pages because I need to sleep. My kids are up at the crack of dawn so I don't ever get to drink coffee in silence. 

I enjoy noise and chaos to a certain extent (I'm an extrovert for the most part who grew up in a large family), but man, sometimes I wish I could just crawl in bed and read or sit outside and listen to birds chirp and not hear "MOM!!!!!!" constantly. Is this a reality for anyone or is it just a "give up and plan to get some quiet when they are older" kind of thing?

[Alyantavid]

Not alot.

I get a quiet shower every morning all by myself.  I get a nice 20 minutes every afternoon while I wait for ds1 to get off the bus.  After the kids go to bed, dh and I get a few hours to ourselves.

The rest of my day is spent running around.  There are a few times every weekend where I send the kids outside to play or down to their playroom so I can get a few minutes of quiet and calm.  Doesn't last long, but it does help when I can get it.

[Bellabaz]

I don't even get to go pee with the door closed LOL. Seriously, its starting to get annoying.

This is why I get up an hour ahead of everyone to run. This is also why my kids go to bed at 8 (they also need too) and why I don't mind that dh has a couple activities that keep him out one evening a week or so. That is MY evening.

[Calliope84]

My mom bought us this children's book about a Mama elephant who just wanted a few minutes of peace and quiet and her 3 elephant kids kept following her around everywhere. She never does get any time alone. I re-read it when DD was first born and thought it was kind of a mean book to read to a child... Now I get it!!! I only have her and I get time when she naps, but I have a hard time doing even basic things like going to the bathroom, making a meal, or showering without her crying! I still don't know if I will actually read it to her, though. I want peace and quiet but I know she is just being a child! 

This is the book... http://www.amazon.com/Five-Minutes-Peace-Jill-Murphy/dp/0698117875

[mommariffic]

I was thinking the other day I'd kill to wake up on my own, have a hot cup of coffee, and just sit in bed. 

When DS naps I try to have quiet time, and if both kids fall asleep on the car I've been known to sit, park and read until they wake up : ) 

[lifeguard]

I get to read in bed before I fall asleep (I take a long time to fall asleep regardless of how tired I am) & sometimes dh takes ds out without me.

[Bellabaz]

Originally Posted by mommariffic 

I was thinking the other day I'd kill to wake up on my own, have a hot cup of coffee, and just sit in bed. 

When DS naps I try to have quiet time, and if both kids fall asleep on the car I've been known to sit, park and read until they wake up : ) 

This, both things. My friends laugh because their kids all take naps. My oldest stopped napping at age 2. Yes at 2 years old. So if by some miracle, she falls asleep along with her sister in the car, you bet I am not chancing it and I keep a book and magazine in my glove copmpartment. =)

This is a really rare occurence though.

[LROM]

I travel overnight once every 3 months or so and it's so funny, I always swear I'm gonna just check into the hotel at 6:00 and go straight to bed, but then I stay up and watch mindless t.v. for HOURS (we don't watch t.v. at home, just vids).  I'll watch crime shows and home renovation shows til the cows come home, next thing I know it's like 3:00am, I gotta be up at 7:00, and I've just wasted a perfectly good UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP OPPORTUNITY!

But I guess we do what we most want to do in those situations and I guess it relaxes me to numb-out to mindless t.v..

That's the only peace and quiet I get most times, and it's verrrrrry sporadic. :)

Actually, DH makes a point of at least once a weekend taking DD out so I can walk around the house in my robe, drink tea in peace and maybe sit on the porch.  Only problem is since I work full time, on weekends there are a zillion things that need to be done around the house, so it's not relaxing so much, but it is me on my own and I love that.  And DD loves being out with daddy who loves to do outside stuff more than I do.  So it's a win-win.

[MJB]

I get lots of peace and quiet. My 8 and 5 yr. olds go to school all day, and when they are home they usually play outside or in their room. My 9 mo. old still naps twice a day. All 3 go to bed at 9pm, and my husband and I spend time together after that, or I read in bed if he has to work. We didn't institute a bedtime until a couple years ago, when my 5 yr. old started preschool (my oldest was homeschooling then). It's one of the best things I've done for myself as a parent. I've also never gotten out of bed before 7. I find yoga quiet and peaceful, and can go to a 6pm yoga class while my husband watches the kids. 

We are busy go-go-go people; I'm in school full-time, my husband is writing a dissertation, my boys play soccer 3x a week and my 8yo is on a swim team, plus we have to drive them to and from school. I actually think that having outlets for their energy keeps them from bouncing off the walls at home. They would do more if I let them. 

[Llyra]

I do, mostly because DH knows I would go completely bazooka without it, so he's been great about working with me to carve out some space and time for me to be alone, or at least to be alone with a sleeping or nursing baby, which is the next best thing.

The real change came when my littlest were old enough to play outside unsupervised. That came like a revelation-- hey, guys, you're too darn noisy, and I need quiet. Go play outside for an hour.

I sympathize. I've got three close in age, in a very tiny house, and it gets really raucous sometimes. I'm a big one for setting limits for quiet spaces-- you can play in the family room, or in your room, but get out of my kitchen if you're going to be noisy. Stuff like that.

[BetsyS]

I do.  It's in small spurts, though.  I have 3 boys that are almost 1, 3, and 5.  LOUD. 

I get up before them, even if it's only 20 minutes.  It's nice to drink my coffee in peace.    They get up around 6:30, so that has me getting up around 6.  We have mandatory quiet time.  The 1 year old naps, the 3 is transitioning to not, and the 5 year old does not.  They do rest/read books/be quiet for about an hour, though.  It is necessary for my sanity.

They also go to bed at 7.  We are fairly early to bed/early to rise people, but that gives me about 2 hours with dh, and I like that time.  While not exactly peace and quiet (dh is there, after all), it's still not the LOUD house that they daytime is. 

[D_McG]

Lately I've been going out for an hour after DH gets home by myself. bliss. Also I work a few hours a week (retail) and the drive there and back is awesome.

And when I wasn't massively pregnant I put my kids in gym daycare so I could get some time alone at the gym.

All of this came in the last year and has been really parent-life changing.

[sunnygir1]

I do if I take it, but I generally have to leave home for it ; )  I need to make it a priority because I am struggling, and dh isn't going to encourage me to get out or just up and take the kids somewhere, so it's up to me to make it happen.

I go out one or two evenings a week for yoga and/or belly dancing class -- lately I'm lucky if it works out to be one of the two.  If I do both, I arrange for someone other than dh to have the kids one of the nights (he is in school online, so often has to do that in the evenings after work).

When I'm in good form, I run for maybe half an hour after dh gets home, but I haven't been doing that lately.  I think I'm going to start doing that after I tuck the kids in now that it's light later.  Then I don't have to answer all the calls for "mama" after lights out.

On good nights dh and I get a couple hours after the kids are asleep before we go to bed.  Unfortunately we don't usually do anything with it.  I wish that we would talk and be together, but he's generally on the computer or we watch a movie.  If we aren't watching a movie together, I read or fold laundry, or work, or clean the kitchen.  I am so tired I should really just go to bed with the kids!

[Drummer's Wife]

Yes, but not too often when my kids are actually home.  They are 4, 6, 8, and 10 years old.  The older 3 are in school from 9-4, the youngest goes half-day.  So, I end up having quite a bit of peace and quiet b/c I spend many hours during the week at home, alone.  It is nice, really, and a big change compared to how it used to be.  Gosh, when I had 2 or 3 kids, and of course when I had 4 kids ages 6 and under, it was chaotic and loud - and peace and quiet was mostly unheard of.  But nowadays, I do get plenty of time to drink my coffee while it's hot and read or whatever.  So, you might have that to look forward to (if you aren't homeschooling or going to work full-time) in the years to come. 

[Peony]

Very little. Usually the only quiet I have is when I am in the car driving to work. I work very part time so sometimes that it just 15 minutes each way once a week. Other that, none. The toddler goes to bed when I do, he sleeps in but the other two are early risers. DS takes a nap most days still (he is turning 2 this weekend) but then my 4y hasn't napped in years. 1-2 days a week, he might be asleep while she is at preschool but then I frantically spend the entire time making work phone calls. 

[NellieKatz]

OMG your 2nd paragraph is my life exactly! I just NOW (11:00 pm) became sure that my son was not going to ask me for one more thing. My ideal day would involve about 4 hours of reading but I am really lucky if I get 15 minutes of either that or my art. I am becoming a crazy person because I can NOT get him to stop interrupting and talking and interrupting and talking ....and there's only ONE of him!! I can only imagine how you must struggle for peace with more than 1 kid.

Like everything else has, this will get better. I just need to remember that.

Edited to add: I should say that my son is 8 and he's homeschooled which is why I get so little time alone. DH and I divide up the nights but those are mostly used for work--my part time work-at-home job and my part time art business. Sometimes I take nights and just do what I want instead of work, but it's hard to enjoy because I really need those work hours. And the weekends are just a free-for-all!  :-)

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by NellieKatz 

OMG your 2nd paragraph is my life exactly! I just NOW (11:00 pm) became sure that my son was not going to ask me for one more thing. My ideal day would involve about 4 hours of reading but I am really lucky if I get 15 minutes of either that or my art. I am becoming a crazy person because I can NOT get him to stop interrupting and talking and interrupting and talking ....and there's only ONE of him!! I can only imagine how you must struggle for peace with more than 1 kid.

Like everything else has, this will get better. I just need to remember that.

Edited to add: I should say that my son is 8 and he's homeschooled which is why I get so little time alone. DH and I divide up the nights but those are mostly used for work--my part time work-at-home job and my part time art business. Sometimes I take nights and just do what I want instead of work, but it's hard to enjoy because I really need those work hours. And the weekends are just a free-for-all!  :-)

Wow, that must be hard at 8.  Can you institute a daily quiet time for him, where he may read or work or play quietly in his room (audio books can be a life-saver here)?  You could set a timer and work up to an hour -- it will take some practice and some patience, but you should be able to get so you can have some time to yourself every day.  He's old enough.

I do it (although not consistently) with my 4yo.  Thankfully she has always been a sporadically independent player -- I can't count on a specific time, but there are always times during the day where she is engaged for 15 minutes to an hour on her own (or with her baby brother) especially now that it's warm enough to play outside.  We live in a tiny village and have a fenced back yard and a dog, so I don't worry when she's out without me (I do look in on her, but I can still grab a cup of tea and a muffin and SIT DOWN!).

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by NellieKatz 

OMG your 2nd paragraph is my life exactly! I just NOW (11:00 pm) became sure that my son was not going to ask me for one more thing. My ideal day would involve about 4 hours of reading but I am really lucky if I get 15 minutes of either that or my art. I am becoming a crazy person because I can NOT get him to stop interrupting and talking and interrupting and talking ....and there's only ONE of him!! I can only imagine how you must struggle for peace with more than 1 kid.

Like everything else has, this will get better. I just need to remember that.

Edited to add: I should say that my son is 8 and he's homeschooled which is why I get so little time alone. DH and I divide up the nights but those are mostly used for work--my part time work-at-home job and my part time art business. Sometimes I take nights and just do what I want instead of work, but it's hard to enjoy because I really need those work hours. And the weekends are just a free-for-all!  :-)

yikes - why is your 8 year old up at 11pm?! I'd go insane with that.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Nope. If I get desperate for it, I'll give in and let the kids watch a movie or play Wii, but then they usually end up fighting anyway and the whole things blows up in my face. I've just completely given up. 

[*bejeweled*]

I do, but my DD is 8 yo. We've always had a mandatory quiet time for an hour when she outgrew naps. I'm lucky though, because she's an only and enjoys doing crafts and reading. She also understands that I need my quiet time and there are certain times when I'm resting---either in my room or in the tub. So, go ask Daddy! Even Daddy says, "Don't bother Mommy."