I know that isn't ideal or even a good idea in most cases but just curious if anyone had a partner in the past who wasn't on board and wasn't educated on birth as you are (and let's face it, most men aren't) so you planned around it, like an oops or something else, or if anyone is currently in that situation.
I have only been with current DH for 2 years. I was shocked with our first pregnancy (which happened very shortly after we met) that is was totally on board with a homebirth him having no other kids, no experience with birth other than what you see on TV or anything. usually people with that lack of experience are too afraid to go anyway but mainstream. He has always had this attitude though that since I had 4 before him, I must know what I am doing and if I am comfortable with it he trusts me. I tried to even explain the pros of HB vs hospital and sell him on it but he stopped me and said it wasn't nessesary he was supportive of whatever way I wanted to do it, just tell him what to expect. Amazing!!! The sell was almost as easy this time only complicated by the fact that last time it was our only option besides going to the hospital uninsured and paying later where this time we have insurance and its free to go to the hospital but we would have to pay out of pocket this time for midwife. He still said he would support me though since it was so important to me and we would work it out and it turned out nice last time. He admits he has no experience with a hospital birth only homebirth from last time so really doesn't know the difference and its up to me. However, in a moment of aggrivation I hinted at UC and he was quick to say he wouldn't be comfortable at all with that "just in case something happened". I quickly dropped it and actually changed the subject. I didn't want to hear how against it he was. That would make it harder to consider if it came to that I thought.
I haven't mentioned it since other than to tell him I keep having this feeling I am going to be alone when I birth this time and he just assures me even if he is at work, which is an hour away, I will be left with several numbers to reach him and he will make sure he is here in time. I honestly don't know what to do but just have this feeling it will work itself out and I wont have to do anything. I am not even sure why. Maybe the reason I didn't talk about it in depth with him is if he has expressed serious opposition to it and had very strong feelings against it, there would be no way I could consider it having to respect that this is his child as well. However, with just knowing his lack of education about it but his trust in my decisions, I am somehow able to get around it.
Perhaps it isn't right, nothing is set in stone yet except that I am at peace with just not making plans at all and seeing what happens.
anyone have any experience with this?