sneaking off vs. explaining that you are leaving the bed

[sillysmile]

I have a nearly 28m DD, and am 36wks along with DD#2. We transitioned DD to her own room a few months ago, but she still gets up pretty frequently and often requests to come back to our bed (which we typically allow). We are basically pushovers, and let her do whatever she wants for the most part. She will usually call out "mommy, mommy" at least several times during the night (and start crying if I'm not there within 10 seconds), at which point I will go in and lie next to her for a minute or two until she resettles, and then sneak back off to our bedroom. (This is the best case scenario.. some nights she requires a few hours to resettle.) She usually doesn't seem to want anything other than my presence next to her so she can fall back asleep. Maybe 1x/nt she will ask for water. The problem is that I think that she has the expectation that I will always be next to her when she wakes. Would it help, at this age, if I tried to explain that I was going to be sleeping in a separate room? Would some sort of reward for staying in her room all by herself make sense at this age?

I've often thought about reverting to cosleeping full-time since it's hard running back and forth between rooms so often, but she tends to climb all over me and I get terrible sleep. That plus a newborn I think would be really difficult.

The plan is that DH will take over most of DD's night wakings when the new LO arrives, but I am very worried about changing to a totally different routine right when the new baby arrives, and whether that might cause resentment etc. That's a slightly different issue though I guess... but if anyone has any BTDT suggestions I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

[Louisep]

I would think you could try saying something like "I'm right next door" and see if it works. Also, how about having your dh move into her room now/ take over night duties? Then there aren't too many changes all at once.

[D_McG]

I'm pregnant, too and DD is 2.5 . We just moved her to her own bed. She knows that mommies and daddies sleep together and 'big' kids have their own bed. Babies sleep with mommies/daddies. If big kids get lonely they can come in and mommy/daddy will either find a place in the bed for them or help them back to sleep in their bed (but not lie with them. she's in a toddler bed so we can't but also it's not something I want to start).

So, we're pretty honest with her. Still though I'm nervous about how it'll go when the baby comes!

[beebalmmama]

We would lie down with my older son after he moved to his own room sometimes. But we really tried to break the habit of snuggling and would just sit with him....although we are pushovers too. But considering you are pg, I really think you should transition now to having your dh take over the night wakings. I think it would help to have that transition happen before the baby arrives and mama can't come in at night.