I am new here what a great site! I am Mother with adult children,and a Grandmother of 9.Believe me I have been through it all over the years of parenting.Our adult children are what I would like to say,not perfect but good,and responsible adults.For me I believe parenting is not only the hardest job in this world but also the most rewarding job I have encountered.I look back at all the hours and hours I put into parenting and know it was all very worth it! When I look at my wonderful kids,and what they have become,what good choices they have made, I know it was all my best time spent in my lifetime. As I watch my kids intently with their own kids, I remember all the hours of my work, the tears, the heartache, the pulling my hair out, the sleepless nights,the emotional drama,etc etc etc...All more than worth it! So all I can say young parents,hang in there,be strong,take the time,follow your instincts for they are best.Don't beat yourselves up we all make mistakes,kids dont come with instructions..we learn along the way.Yes the 1st ones the hardest as far as learning what to do,and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for the next..it all depends on the child and their type of personality.Your children will never agree with you simply because you are the parent!It comes along with the territory. Only once they are grown and have children will they begin to understand the why's,then they may tell you what you have always wanted to hear!"I love you Mom,thanks for being such a good parent"I was and am a very strict parent..I don't tell our kids what they want to hear,I teach them what they need to hear..like it or not.Right or wrong children need to learn correction,and its a parents duty to teach them from the start,and thats when teaching begins from the very start.If you set your directions from the start,children are less likely to be wayward.Will they question?You bet,Will they get mad?Of course,Will they stomp,and rebel?That's normal,what's not normal is to let them think they rule you...thats a costly mistake...for if you let them run the show at the age of a toddler,imagine how they will treat you as a teenager?No it doesn't takecorp. punishment to get the point across!
But it does take you being the boss.I am a hands on,no nonsense Grandmother.I love my Grandkids with all my heart and soul, and do alot for them,but I do not allow what I call,"Today's type of behavior" at my house or when my Grandkids are with me.Heck No!I had a friend ask me once when my kids were small,"How come your kids don't throw tantrum's like mine do"?My reply,"I simply don't allow it"I always taught my kids behavior like that was unnecessary,but their speaking voice was necessary,and it worked.I have a three year old Granddaughter that lives here part time due to a marriage issue.I believe 3 is one of the hardest ages in children..even in our own.My Granddaughter is very sweet,cute,very smart very ahead of her years,so she gets bored very easily.What I think is strange,she has a entire set of behaviors for her Father(not so nice one's)than she does for Grandma.The tantrum's she throws,the physical contact she exhibits,the language she says is NOT the same as when with Grandma...she is so smart she knows who she can do what with.When I watch her,she know's what she can and cannot do,and I do not change what I expect from her. One thing that has worked for her is I give her a big girl sticker when she quits behaving negative.I take her aside alone make her look in to my eyes,tell her she is a big girl not a baby,and that she needs to use her big girl voice,tell me whats wrong without screaming crying,if she does as I ask she gets the sticker on her hand,if she chooses not to correct herbehavior,I have her sit in timeout for 3 min(one min.per age)and tell her when she's ready to use her big girl voice ,& tell me what's wrong to let me know..then I check back.Usually shes cooled down,wants the sticker,and is done.Actually she loves the stickers.I knew I had to do something Now when she was demonstrating this kind of behavior to her Father.We have been working on this with her she's doing much better. Children need limits,rules,boundaries,and be consient. The sooner they learn it the better behaved they will be.Best advice I can give is love,be patient,be the parent,it's never to late to start.The pay off is worth it in the long run!