losing my mind- 3 year old tantrums and control issues

[Chloe'sMama]

My almost 3 year old DD is driving me crazy.  I SAH and am with her 24/7.... She is a strong willed child and as my mother says, 'very intelligent'.  She is constantly having crazy tantrums when I tell her what to do (no nursing, no binky, no buying toys, don't hit, hold hands crossing the street, wait etc).  I have tried redirection and distracting and keeping her in the house and keeping her out of the house, keeping her involved with little sister, whatever I can think of.

I am on the brink of wanting to go back to work so that I don't have to be around her.  I really just don't like her (actions and attitude), and don't know what to do.  

I am feeling like I need to read some books about anger management with toddlers (hers and mine....) because she has a hard time settling down and I have spanked her and it is not how we want to discipline our children.    I know it is a phase, but how do people handle it?

[lisavark]

I came on here today just to read threads like this. So I'd be reminded that my three year old is normal.

I've heard that three is the first teen year, and lately I just keep reminding myself of that. Mine doesn't need to be told no to throw a tantrum lately--she tantrums all the time for no reason. She invents reasons for tantrums. I've never, ever ignored her before, but I've started now! I think she's just trying to establish a higher level of independence from me, so she picks fights for no reason.

Have you considered preschool? I would lose it if my daughter weren't in preschool. Three mornings a week keeps me sane. If you can't do that, maybe exchange some childcare with another SAHM? Anything to give you and your DD a break from each other. She probably needs it as much as you do. They need a little space from mama at this age!

[mom2zack]

Fresno has a really good Mom's Club.  They have lots of activities for the little ones which may help her if she is bored.  If nothing else she will get to be around some kids her age, and you can chat with some other moms.  They also have a pretty good babysitting co-op.  It has been a lifesaver for me.   I am also in Fresno.