What leads to lifelong healthy eating?

[bluedaisy]

I work at a University and I recently overheard two different conversations where students were talking about how they had grown up eating really healthy foods, but didn't continue that lifestyle once they left for college.  One even said she doesn't like going home any more because of the healthy way her mom eats.

This got me thinking about the best ways to pass on the values of healthy eating to kids so that they will continue to value eating healthy even when they don't "have" to.

I've heard people argue that nothing should be "forbidden" because kids will rebel, but at the same time our culture's eating habits are so unhealthy that I feel there has to be some strictness or my child will just develop a taste for all the super-sweet processed foods.

My DH grew up in a culture where fresh, healthy food is eaten most of the time and sweets are only rare treats, and he never really developed a taste for sweet things.  He can't eat most candy/desserts/ice cream in the US because they are just sickeningly sweet.  So this makes me think there is some value in restricting unhealthy foods as kids are developing tastes.

What do you all think?  What are things you think lead to children embracing healthy eating even when they are old enough to make their own food choices?

[imogenlily]

I was raised eating healthy food, and continued eating healthy food. My parents eat food which is a little bit healthier than what I eat. I ended up eating for pleasure, which to me means fresh, delicious, balanced foods. I don't like to overdo fried or rich foods, because that's not pleasurable - it makes me feel sick.

I think what put me off of their system of eating was all the tasteless reduced fat/reduced sodium products they eat. Gross. I would rather eat a little bit of full fat sour cream than a lot of fat free sour cream.

I guess I "rebelled" because their system made me unhappy, and I found something better, but ultimately the underlying value of healthy eating stayed with me, even if I pursue it differently and indulge in some things they would not.

[Storm Bride]

I don't think there is a universal answer. I grew up eating quite healthy foods, but was also being sabotaged by my grandmother (really manipulative and toxic), who, among other things, used candy and other sweets to buy our silence over sexual abuse by my grandfather. This had a major negative effect on my relationship with food, and I still struggle with that, on many levels.

However, I've known people who grew up with healthy eating habits (lots of veggies, fruit, whole foods, etc.) and kept them up and others who didn't. I haven't really found a lot of common denominators, except that the ones who didn't maintain healthy eating habits seem to have grown up with more of an authoritarian "we don't eat that junk" attitude and the ones who kept it up seem to have grown up with more of an explanatory approach (the "foods like that don't help you grow strong, especially if you eat too much of them - this is really good for your muscles/brain/heart/happiness"). But, that's just based on how those people present it years after the fact, so it may be wildly inaccurate. I don't think being really strict is the key, as I've seen that backfire pretty badly.

[imogenlily]

Storm Bride - I really like your idea of the explanatory approach. I think that's what saved my eating habits.

[Sol_y_Paz]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy 

This got me thinking about the best ways to pass on the values of healthy eating to kids so that they will continue to value eating healthy even when they don't "have" to.

My DH grew up in a culture where fresh, healthy food is eaten most of the time and sweets are only rare treats, and he never really developed a taste for sweet things.  He can't eat most candy/desserts/ice cream in the US because they are just sickeningly sweet.  So this makes me think there is some value in restricting unhealthy foods as kids are developing tastes.

What do you all think?  What are things you think lead to children embracing healthy eating even when they are old enough to make their own food choices?

Like your DH, I cannot eat most candy/desserts/ice cream/soft drinks in the US because they are sickeningly sweet.  Unlike your DH, I grew up here with full access to unlimited amounts of junk and sugar sweet foods.   

I eat much differently than I was raised because I grew up and made choices.

Teaching, exposure, and training cannot always completely mold someone.  I am a big supporter of healthy eating and great food habits but I also feel there is a lot more to family togetherness than food alone that plays together in keeping a family close.  There is more to keeping a grown child interested in dinner with his or her mom and dad than only what is being served at the table.  I have happily eaten meals where I didn't really care for what was being served but loved being around the people in their company.  

[happysmileylady]

I think there's a difference between "restricting" and "forbidding."  I think if you never allow kids to so much to look at anything sweet and they are prevented from ever touching the cake at anyone's birthday party and shamed for eating sweets and that sort of thing, that's forbidding.  That, to me, makes the junk like forbidden fruit and that tends to drive kids towards it.  But, I think that not having it your home on a regular basis, not providing regular access, but allowing it as a rare treat when you are celebrating something at a friend's house, that is restricting to me.  I think that helps kids to know that they can't NEVER have it, and therefore easier to restrict themselves when appropriate.

BUt, in answer to the general question of developing life long healthy habits...I don't think there is any one answer.  As our kids become adults, they are responsible for their own lives and can and will make choices we don't agree with.  It happens.

[skreader]

I don't think there's any guarantee. I grew up eating mostly healthy foods - skim milk, whole wheat bread, mostly non-processed foods. Chips and soda and sweets were occasional treats.  Most of my sibs eat quite healthily, one has always loved less healthy food - especially oily & greasy stuff. DH and I try to teach and lead by example - it increases the likelihood of success.

[puffingirl]

One thing to keep in mind is that university students might not be a good "end point" to evaluate from---they will likely change more as they go off into their adult lives.  I know that I ate  terribly as a college student but really changed my tune as an adult (and especially as a parent).  I think that the seeds planted early have an impact.  After DD began eating solid food (and especially after we found her gluten intolerance), it was like some totally unconscious switch was flipped and I began to think of dinner as protein, starch (includes starchy veggies) and a green vegetable--my mother's definition of dinner when I was a kid.  Didn't matter that I hadn't eaten that way in 20 years, it was so ingrained. I definitely think that what my parents emphasized early made a difference--it was just kind of dormant for a lot of years until it seemed to matter more to me as an individual.  I always wonder about how the choices for what we allow DD will turn out but I feel like we're giving her a really good base to start from--she knows she needs proteins, carbs and good fats from a variety  of healthy, fresh foods so that she stays healthy and has plenty of energy.  She would sell me off for an ice cream but I'm ok with that.  

[Annie Mac]

Originally Posted by puffingirl 

One thing to keep in mind is that university students might not be a good "end point" to evaluate from---they will likely change more as they go off into their adult lives.  I know that I ate  terribly as a college student but really changed my tune as an adult (and especially as a parent).  I think that the seeds planted early have an impact.  After DD began eating solid food (and especially after we found her gluten intolerance), it was like some totally unconscious switch was flipped and I began to think of dinner as protein, starch (includes starchy veggies) and a green vegetable--my mother's definition of dinner when I was a kid.  Didn't matter that I hadn't eaten that way in 20 years, it was so ingrained. I definitely think that what my parents emphasized early made a difference--it was just kind of dormant for a lot of years until it seemed to matter more to me as an individual.  I always wonder about how the choices for what we allow DD will turn out but I feel like we're giving her a really good base to start from--she knows she needs proteins, carbs and good fats from a variety  of healthy, fresh foods so that she stays healthy and has plenty of energy.  She would sell me off for an ice cream but I'm ok with that.  

I totally agree with this. It's like anything else, you show them the best way you know how and then they grow up and it's up to them to make their own choices. With eating, chances are they will at least try eating junk for a while. I mean, it's yummy, right? But with any luck, and no guarantees, they will come around to the type of eating that makes them feel their best. At least if you have shown them an example of a healthy diet, they will feel the difference in their bodies under the junk food diet, and have an understanding of how to change that if they want to. It's also possible, even probable, that they will find a slightly different version of healthy eating. 

[CI Mama]

Originally Posted by puffingirl 

One thing to keep in mind is that university students might not be a good "end point" to evaluate from---they will likely change more as they go off into their adult lives.

College is a pretty transitional time for most people, and the unique setting of college allows for a lifestyle that isn't necessarily going to continue into adulthood.

I had horrible eating habits my freshman year of college. The stress of leaving home and adapting to dorm life (and cafeteria food--ug!) was not good for me. But my junior year when I moved out of the dorms and started living with friends, things really turned around. I lived with people who enjoyed cooking, I started shopping at a natural foods co-op, and I learned a lot about healthy eating. So college was actually really good for me, once I was out of the dorms.

There are many layers to food culture, and we certainly learn a lot in our families of origin. In my family, among other things, I learned that women should be "on a diet" all the time. My mother and my grandmother were constantly trying new diets, and I got the message as a teenager that I, too, should be trying to lose weight. I remember doing a "Fit for Life" diet, which involved eating nothing but fruit before noon and after 8:00 pm every day. There was another diet where three days a week you had to follow a very strict menu plan (that I found disgusting: breakfast was 2 tablespoons of peanut butter on a piece of whole wheat toast. Lunch was a hot dog. I can't remember dinner.) and then the rest of the time you could eat whatever you wanted. Going on these diets taught me a lot of really bad habits, like eating in cycles of deprivation & binging. My sister developed an eating disorder.

I spent most of my 20s learning how to unplug from the "diet" mentality and eat in a sane way. It's very important to me not to become rigid or overly controlling about what I eat, but also to eat in a mindful and joyful way. I've become very interested in sustainable agriculture, local foods, etc. I put my focus on eating in a way that is good for the planet as well as for me. And I hope my daughter will love growing, cooking, and eating natural, delicious food.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by puffingirl 

One thing to keep in mind is that university students might not be a good "end point" to evaluate from---they will likely change more as they go off into their adult lives.  I know that I ate  terribly as a college student but really changed my tune as an adult (and especially as a parent).  I think that the seeds planted early have an impact.  After DD began eating solid food (and especially after we found her gluten intolerance), it was like some totally unconscious switch was flipped and I began to think of dinner as protein, starch (includes starchy veggies) and a green vegetable--my mother's definition of dinner when I was a kid.  Didn't matter that I hadn't eaten that way in 20 years, it was so ingrained. I definitely think that what my parents emphasized early made a difference--it was just kind of dormant for a lot of years until it seemed to matter more to me as an individual.  I always wonder about how the choices for what we allow DD will turn out but I feel like we're giving her a really good base to start from--she knows she needs proteins, carbs and good fats from a variety  of healthy, fresh foods so that she stays healthy and has plenty of energy.  She would sell me off for an ice cream but I'm ok with that.  

This is a good point, too, and one I try to think about. DS1 was fed a really good diet, in most ways, as a child. But, as a teen, he's gone through a couple of years of eating as much junk as he can fit into his budget. I just keep modelling, refuse to keep much crap in the house, and hope he'll revert.

DH's eating habits while in university, and as a bachelor, were terrible. He and I are going through a dietary bad patch, in some ways, but he's improved a lot, and a big part of it was becoming a parent.