14 month old potty strike!

[SimplePeaceMama]

I have been ECing part-time with my LO since he was about 3 weeks old. Around 12-13 months, he would at least try to pee for me even if he didn't have to go every single time I'd take him to the potty. I hold him over the potty or sink each time. 

At 13 months he started walking, and we moved into a new house. Two pretty big things for such a little guy. 

Ever since then, he has been 100% refusing to use the potty. Even when I KNOW he has to go. He will arch his back and fight me. He's become very independent on a lot of things here recently too - like feeding. He won't let me feed him ANYTHING. He has to do it himself.

Before this potty strike, he had just started to sign to me that he was pooping and I was catching those too, which was so great.

I don't want to force him to sit on the potty or turn the potty into a bad thing, I just want to reconnect and get back to where we were.

Is it the adjustment to being so independent? Is it the new house? I try to sit him on his little bjorn potty and he hates it. I thought that might make him feel more independent. He doesn't respond to any of my cues any more. I've been taking time now to just start over. We have some diaper free time after naps and after lunch because I know he's gonna pee then and i want to start over with the cues - him learning mine and me learning his. If he signals before he goes, I surely can't tell!! :( 

I've just now gotten to be a stay at home mom, and I'm ready to go full time EC with him, but he's balking. 

Suggestions?!? :-\ I feel like I was going so strong for a year, and now I've done something to mess it all up. :(

[tri31]

Hi, sounds like everything is going great. My little guy is going through the same thing. He won't have it, and peees on the bathroom floor as soon as I put him down. A few years ago his older brother did this too..Just a few months later he consistantly was able to sign and go potty on a regular basis. By 17 months he was in charge of the whole show.

Don't worry they have not unlearned anything, try to be calm (I know easier said than done) and let them start transitioning. Keep offering, and don't take it personally. Just like learning to feed themself and dress them self. It can be messy and time consuming, but he's got to learn to do it himself. It's a process.

Your doing great. Best wishes

[SimplePeaceMama]

That is so good to hear!! I do worry he has forgotten the sound we make for peeing/pooping. So basically you just kept offering when you felt he needed to go? And he picked back up with it? 

[tri31]

When he started back up ( he wouldn't potty at all for a few weeks!)  he had progressed from where he left off. The difference was he had more physical control. So really what I did/ will be doing is offer (when I notice the old cues) point out that we all go potty, even doggy. Every chance I get. We use cloth with training pants, because they are learning from every accident. IMO disposables enable accidents. But I still use them at night and when we go out. But not at home.

Your LO will lead the way.

[turtlemamameg]

Your situation sounds perfectly normal to me.  Moving to a new house is a big transition...and as much as it is a good thing that you are a stay at home mom now, this is also a transition.  I notice that when there are changes to our routine like traveling or a busy house of guests or during developemental leaps are when these strikes are most likely to happen.  DD went through the same thing at 16 months. It coincided with teething some molars and also when she started talking. Her strike lasted 2 months, aaaagh lol. And before she started refusing the potty, she had just begun to show a bit more independance in her pottying. So, it was ultra frustrating because I knew that she was practically capable of doing it solo. I just went with it. I kept offering the potty at times when I knew she had to go.  On the day of her 18month b-day, I decided to ask her if she was ready for underpants...she said yes and we have been full time in underpants since that day.  She usually misses the potty once a day at some point, but will come tell me right away.  AND she wants to pull down her own pants and seat herself, BIG STEP.  And she started sleeping through the night and stays dry till morning, whereas before she had to pee once in the middle of the night to make it till morning with a dry dipe.

My suggestion is to keep offering the potty, but like you said, don't force it.  He'll come back to it again when he is ready and probably with greater accuracy and better communication.  Also, summer is coming and naked bottom time outside will likely help things along as well.

Good luck!

[farmheart]

First of all, don't take the blame! :D Mothers do that way too much (preachin' to myself here) take a deep breath and respect the no. It is a sphincter and can't be forced even when we know they need to go and would feel better. I am so there with you right now. I havea  very independent 18 mo old and we go in and out of strikes basically! haha somethings that have helped us. I give him something to nibble on him so he will slow down long enough to pee...and biggest help of all is peeing outside!! we have a certain spot we always go to off the side porch and he looks at the birds (and cars) that go by. everyday is a day closer to being totally diaper/miss free!

[eastmillcreekmama]

We went through it too, when DD was the same age. It was summer, so we kept her diaperless and cleaned up the accidents. Eventually, we were asked while visiting my aunt to diaper her (she has carpet), and that whole long weekend, she didn't pee in her diapers. SHe didn't want to. So then we were home free. I think it's a normal stage, too much development going on to focus on the pottying so much, and eventually they come around. I think your idea to keep talking about it and offering even if he doesn't take you up on it are the right approach. You could also try cloth diapers so that when he misses, he can feel the wet consequences! Maybe that will help motivate him to get to the potty.

[heatheresc]

I'm glad to know other 14 month olds are behaving this way--I could have written the OP, except we didn't recently move.  I keep telling myself, well, at least during the first year we had lots of EC success!  And hopefully we can still be out of diapers by age two or so...looking forward to warmer weather for more diaper free time!