Computers...

[Calliope84]

I think I might x-post this in Homeschooling...

I was sure I wasn't going to let DD use computers much, play video games, or watch a lot of TV until she was older. I'm not ready now, obviously, since she is only going on 5 months, but I am wondering when is a good time. 

DH and I both love video games and DH is studying to become a computer programmer. He is self-taught to a certain level and I also taught myself a lot about web design. He started when he was around 8-10 years old and I started around 14. It would have been cool if I could have started earlier, but I don't think we even got internet until I was 10. I like some of our RPG games because of the strategy involved (too adult, though) and we both LOVE watching documentaries on Netflix. The future is obviously in computers and so I think they are really important. But I don't want to let DD rely too much on technology to do things for her. We also love books in this house and spend a good portion of our time reading. (I don't really know how well we'd be able to keep her from computers when we both work on them...)

What do you think? When did you / will you let your children start using these things?

-I am posting this here because even though some people might wait until later or limit screen time, I think an advanced child could really benefit from the early exposure and could find things to interest or challenge them.

[Galatea]

Subbing bc I struggle with this, too.

[moominmamma]

As a highly wired mama (even though I was almost 30 before CompuServe was on the horizon) I have four extremely computer-literate kids. I wrote about my 14-year-old ds recently: he has been coding since he was 9 and is now the assistant tech support guy for our local Community Gaming Club, has already maxed out credits at our high school for computer-related learning with no direct effort at all. My other kids are less into coding but are amazing with their software skills and system-tinkering and trouble-shooting.

I love what technology does for us, but here's the thing: its pull is relentless. There is no way bright kids today with computer-literate parents and even basic technology in the home will not grow up frightenly capable with computers. What I fear they may lack is the sense of connection to the real. I don't mean this is a spooky Ender's-Game-like sense of living a virtual life. I mean that I think that humans are hard-wired to learn from direct experience from the physical world, and that if especially when they're young (say, under 12 or so) they don't get copious experience with the direct consequences of their actions they will not develop fully as empathetic, responsible, moral beings. So I think it is pretty cool to play with virtual farms and learn how protecting a breeding stock of poultry will promote strong meat and egg production over the years. But I think that this is not nearly a substitute for incubating eggs in your laundry room, carefully monitoring the heat lamp to nurture those chicks through their tender first weeks, hauling water out to the henhouse twice a day in the depths of winter, and cooking the eggs and meat you harvest. (I realize this is just an example: most urban kids won't have the opportunity to raise hens like mine have. But I hope you get my point.) In the real world if you mess up you don't can't click "Menu>>New Game" and your characters don't automatically "respawn" after 20 seconds. Your mess-ups result in dead chicks, or time-consuming and exhausting damage-control, or stress on relationships and loss of trust that needs work to be put to rights.

It's tempting to think that you can have both: the clean and easy virtual experience and the chicken-poop-on-your-boots type. And I think you can. I'm trying to create a balance for my kids that allows them to have both. But what I've seen over the years is that the virtual, disconnected-from-the-real-world experiences have much the greater attraction for kids (and, I confess, for parents) because they're so tidy and readily available and easy and low-risk. And so in keeping a balance for my kids I've found that my parental effort needs to favour the real-world experiences. I need to work very hard to keep my kids engaged in the dirty, messy, risk, hard-working business of real life, and I need to do absolutely no facilitation at all, and if anything create obstacles, concerning their engagement with the virtual. When I do that the balance seems to come out about right.

Miranda

[Roar]

Originally Posted by Calliope84 

-I am posting this here because even though some people might wait until later or limit screen time, I think an advanced child could really benefit from the early exposure and could find things to interest or challenge them.

I have a very different point of view. I don't think being an advanced learner necessitates earlier exposure to technology as a means to access interest or challenge. The real world and real life are full of interesting and challenging opportunities for young children. A lot of what is foundational for kids is not in the virtual world.

I'm speaking of things like:

a connection of your body in space - movement and balance, developing motor skills, feeling the weight of objects, the beat of your heart.

a connection to people - reading facial expressions, experiencing emotions, being empathetic, all the things that come from in real life friendships that don't come from online ones.

a connection to nature - the feeling of the sun on your face and dirt on your fingers, a connection to animals, the quiet observations of the changes in nature.

a comfort with boredom - learning not to just be a passive consumer of entertainment and edutainment created for you, but learning to access your own internal resources to create your own challenge or explore your own unique way of seeing things.

a connection with silence and the quiet sounds of life - all of these can so easily be blocked the constant noise of screens.

learning to manage many of the challenging parts of life for gifted kids - perfectionism, procrastination, developing a work ethic.

To be clear I'm not suggesting an antitechnology stance. Technology pays the bills at our house and is something we all enjoy. At the same time, I feel like keeping it out of the early years of our child's life was the wisest parenting decision we ever made. I see long term benefits of that decision. Because games and entertainment are so incredibly well designed it can prove a very difficult thing for people to resist and very easily it becomes the default. Sick: turn on the TV. Bored: the challenge of a new game. Lonely: online connections. Frustrated: switch over to a game where you will be successful.

I can't say I've ever met a parent who says they wished they had their kids consume more electronics earlier. And, I've met many who wish they'd kept it a smaller part of life for longer. I don't think you should worry kids will be "behind" if they've not been deep in technology earlier.
 

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by moominmamma 

As a highly wired mama (even though I was almost 30 before CompuServe was on the horizon) I have four extremely computer-literate kids. I wrote about my 14-year-old ds recently: he has been coding since he was 9 and is now the assistant tech support guy for our local Community Gaming Club, has already maxed out credits at our high school for computer-related learning with no direct effort at all. My other kids are less into coding but are amazing with their software skills and system-tinkering and trouble-shooting.

I love what technology does for us, but here's the thing: its pull is relentless. There is no way bright kids today with computer-literate parents and even basic technology in the home will not grow up frightenly capable with computers. What I fear they may lack is the sense of connection to the real. I don't mean this is a spooky Ender's-Game-like sense of living a virtual life. I mean that I think that humans are hard-wired to learn from direct experience from the physical world, and that if especially when they're young (say, under 12 or so) they don't get copious experience with the direct consequences of their actions they will not develop fully as empathetic, responsible, moral beings. So I think it is pretty cool to play with virtual farms and learn how protecting a breeding stock of poultry will promote strong meat and egg production over the years. But I think that this is not nearly a substitute for incubating eggs in your laundry room, carefully monitoring the heat lamp to nurture those chicks through their tender first weeks, hauling water out to the henhouse twice a day in the depths of winter, and cooking the eggs and meat you harvest. (I realize this is just an example: most urban kids won't have the opportunity to raise hens like mine have. But I hope you get my point.) In the real world if you mess up you don't can't click "Menu>>New Game" and your characters don't automatically "respawn" after 20 seconds. Your mess-ups result in dead chicks, or time-consuming and exhausting damage-control, or stress on relationships and loss of trust that needs work to be put to rights.

It's tempting to think that you can have both: the clean and easy virtual experience and the chicken-poop-on-your-boots type. And I think you can. I'm trying to create a balance for my kids that allows them to have both. But what I've seen over the years is that the virtual, disconnected-from-the-real-world experiences have much the greater attraction for kids (and, I confess, for parents) because they're so tidy and readily available and easy and low-risk. And so in keeping a balance for my kids I've found that my parental effort needs to favour the real-world experiences. I need to work very hard to keep my kids engaged in the dirty, messy, risk, hard-working business of real life, and I need to do absolutely no facilitation at all, and if anything create obstacles, concerning their engagement with the virtual. When I do that the balance seems to come out about right.

Miranda

Very good points. What kind of stuff would you do with your kids if you didn't have access to having your own chicks, etc? I am thinking of gardening with ours...

Originally Posted by Roar 

I have a very different point of view. I don't think being an advanced learner necessitates earlier exposure to technology as a means to access interest or challenge. The real world and real life are full of interesting and challenging opportunities for young children. A lot of what is foundational for kids is not in the virtual world.

I'm speaking of things like:

a connection of your body in space - movement and balance, developing motor skills, feeling the weight of objects, the beat of your heart.

a connection to people - reading facial expressions, experiencing emotions, being empathetic, all the things that come from in real life friendships that don't come from online ones.

a connection to nature - the feeling of the sun on your face and dirt on your fingers, a connection to animals, the quiet observations of the changes in nature.

a comfort with boredom - learning not to just be a passive consumer of entertainment and edutainment created for you, but learning to access your own internal resources to create your own challenge or explore your own unique way of seeing things.

a connection with silence and the quiet sounds of life - all of these can so easily be blocked the constant noise of screens.

learning to manage many of the challenging parts of life for gifted kids - perfectionism, procrastination, developing a work ethic.

To be clear I'm not suggesting an antitechnology stance. Technology pays the bills at our house and is something we all enjoy. At the same time, I feel like keeping it out of the early years of our child's life was the wisest parenting decision we ever made. I see long term benefits of that decision. Because games and entertainment are so incredibly well designed it can prove a very difficult thing for people to resist and very easily it becomes the default. Sick: turn on the TV. Bored: the challenge of a new game. Lonely: online connections. Frustrated: switch over to a game where you will be successful.

I can't say I've ever met a parent who says they wished they had their kids consume more electronics earlier. And, I've met many who wish they'd kept it a smaller part of life for longer. I don't think you should worry kids will be "behind" if they've not been deep in technology earlier.
 

Hmm. Sounds true. Honestly, all the things you've listed are things DH and I need to work on. My mom really limited technology until we were older and DH's mom didn't. DH usually turns on the Xbox or watches movies in his down time instead of doing other things. I'm online way more than I should be, but I like silence and just sitting and thinking or writing in a journal. I don't know if it is just personality, though.

[whatsnextmom]

We basically limited screen time until the kids had other things they'd rather be doing. Actually, we didn't really "limit" it as much as kept the TV and computer unattractive with few channels, dial-up internet and very few games. We didn't own a video gaming system until our youngest was 9. Now we have all the cool stuff but it's all used in moderation largely because the kids are busy.

It's just like Miranda said, the pull is tremendous and it can be difficult to strike a balance without some conscience effort to do so whether that means you just don't have the stuff in the house, make it unattractive or put actual limits on it. Last week my DS (10) had two friends over and I kicked them outside for awhile. The two friends wandered the lawn for 30 minutes whining for the Wii. They really had no clue what to do despite our shed full of outdoor toys, an eager dog and a rural hill full of road runners, hawks and wild rabbits to be explored. My DS couldn't engage them with any sort of outdoor activity and frankly, the kids seemed to prefer doing NOTHING over not playing video games. It was really quite sad.

I don't think technology is evil but I just feel a slower introduction is a real benefit to kids, ALL kids. Give them some time to see what the options are because the TV/video games/computer are really good at making you think you are have a life without having to actually go out and get one. We know lots of smart kids with tons of information but I'm often surprised at how few real experiences they've had.

Edited by whatsnextmom - 4/20/11 at 3:11pm

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by Roar 

I have a very different point of view. I don't think being an advanced learner necessitates earlier exposure to technology as a means to access interest or challenge. The real world and real life are full of interesting and challenging opportunities for young children. A lot of what is foundational for kids is not in the virtual world.

I'm speaking of things like:

a connection of your body in space - movement and balance, developing motor skills, feeling the weight of objects, the beat of your heart.

a connection to people - reading facial expressions, experiencing emotions, being empathetic, all the things that come from in real life friendships that don't come from online ones.

a connection to nature - the feeling of the sun on your face and dirt on your fingers, a connection to animals, the quiet observations of the changes in nature.

a comfort with boredom - learning not to just be a passive consumer of entertainment and edutainment created for you, but learning to access your own internal resources to create your own challenge or explore your own unique way of seeing things.

a connection with silence and the quiet sounds of life - all of these can so easily be blocked the constant noise of screens.

learning to manage many of the challenging parts of life for gifted kids - perfectionism, procrastination, developing a work ethic.

To be clear I'm not suggesting an antitechnology stance. Technology pays the bills at our house and is something we all enjoy. At the same time, I feel like keeping it out of the early years of our child's life was the wisest parenting decision we ever made. I see long term benefits of that decision. Because games and entertainment are so incredibly well designed it can prove a very difficult thing for people to resist and very easily it becomes the default. Sick: turn on the TV. Bored: the challenge of a new game. Lonely: online connections. Frustrated: switch over to a game where you will be successful.

I can't say I've ever met a parent who says they wished they had their kids consume more electronics earlier. And, I've met many who wish they'd kept it a smaller part of life for longer. I don't think you should worry kids will be "behind" if they've not been deep in technology earlier.
 

I agree with this.

My DH is in the tech field.

We have twin 5 yr olds that have a very rich imagination, vocabulary , and tons of creative play. Academically they are past their age, a low home use of technology has not 'slowed' them down any.

Concerning technology- they have limited non-cable TV (less than 5 hours a week- sometimes we go days w/o TV) and limited computer access. We started using the computer when they were 3 or so with simple sites that they could navigate themselves for short (10 min. at a time) like starfall.com and a word processing program (to type). We also started to incorporate parent searched Youtube videos to show ideas that are not accessible at our home (how a volcano erupts, what Costa Rica looks like, a clip of flaminco dancing, whale videos,etc). But that said- they are familiar with the computer and what it does, but really only occasionally ask to use it. We do search together to print out pages of information they want--- currently coloring pictures of native birds or states. They do know how to use the library computer  search function to find a good book.LOL- THAT is a good use of computers!

They both are very very bright kiddos (read and wrote early) that enjoy nature, art projects, etc and I have *yet* to hear I am borreedddd. They amuse themselves for long periods of time w/o parent involvement. Which I think has been part that we have encouraged low tech at this point of their lives and gotten outside a lot to explore.

DH and I are aware that when they start school next year that technology will be a big part of the curriculum. It will be nice to have the school have novel ways to use laptops for them to explore. A solid base on journal writing, reading, and a healthy dose of creative play will also keep them amused at home when computers and such are limited. But that is just our take on it- we will adapt it as the girls get older to fit their needs.

[physmom]

Miranda basically summed up my feelings on the subject pretty well.  I think that you have to strike a balance between the two.  We're not a TV-free house (well, we technically are at the moment but that's because we just moved abroad and haven't had a chance to buy one yet).  I let DD watch some shows that DH and I can both stand, she likes going on facebook and seeing pictures of her friends from before we moved, she also as the TAG system from Leapfrog that I picked up for really cheap at a consignment shop, and DH lets her play the "piano" and do puzzles on his Droid.  Obviously, that doesn't all happen in one day, though. We did no-TV/very limited computer time before she was 1.  Around 12 months we first let her see starfall.com and she loved it and started learning some of her letters from that.  Oh, she has always gotten to talk to the grandparents/friends on skype because no matter where we live the grandparents are far away. 

That being said we do a lot of outdoors stuff too.  We take her shopping, she helps with cooking and cleaning, we go on walks, we go outside at night and look at the stars/moon, stuff like that.  I really want to have a balcony garden here but we have others things to do first on my long list of stuff around that house that need to be taken care of, but it's something I'm definitely planning on doing with her eventually.  She's also in preschool while we work so she gets a lot of social time in there too with friends. 

Honestly, most time she'd be happier going down to the pool or playground instead of hanging out in our apt watching TV.  DH's side of the family allows way too much TV and he has a teenage cousin who literally watches it all day and has pretty much no personality, it's scary! DH and I both are at our computers a huge chunk of the day for work, so yep, it pays the bills here too.  I'm thankful for technology and it definitely has its place but it's also important to get out there and explore the world.

[Linda on the move]

My kids (who are both now teens and very plugged in) attend an alternative school where technology is down played and real experiences are front and center. They get chicken poop on their shoes! They get clay on their shirts! The work in a green house and cook foods they have grown! It's wonderful.

Many of the teens who attend their school are also very plugged in. These are kids who can replace a hard drive quicker than you can say "jack robinson."  Some, like mine, are former homeschoolers. We've found it easier to have a balance in their lives with them having a wonderful school experience. They spend more time interacting with peers and less time looking at screens. It's not the reason we switched from homeschooling, but it's been an unexpected side benefit.

I think life is all about balance.
 

<<<My mom really limited technology until we were older and DH's mom didn't. DH usually turns on the Xbox or watches movies in his down time instead of doing other things. I'm online way more than I should be, but I like silence and just sitting and thinking or writing in a journal. I don't know if it is just personality, though.>>>

I don't think that raising child is like following a recipe where if we do certain things, they will turn out a certain way. The way our kids turn out is a big mix of which genes they got, their own free will, their overall environment, and specific parenting choices we make.

I suspect that if you DH continues to find his primary form of down time in a screen, that your kids will ultimately spend a lot of time with screens, no matter what age they start. Partly because of the genetic factor -- if that's really it for him, your child could end up the exact same way just because he's the daddy. The second part is overall environment. If the message that your child receives day in and out for years is that "this is how we recreate," you aren't going to un-do that by setting an arbitrary age to start.

I honestly think that the best thing you could do to help your child ultimately have balance is set down and talk to your DH and figure out what you guys like to do together -- such as planting a garden, hiking, some community service, really anything.

I'm not anti-technology. Both my kids have their own laptops and cell phones, and we no longer censor what movies or music they are allowed. However, teaching them to maintain balance requires both my DH and I working and brain storming together. We play a lot of board games, go hiking, cook crazy foreign foods together, plan our weekends around cool activities for them, and yet there are still moments when everyone is in the same room, the TV is on, and every single member of my family is using a hand held device of some sort. It's kinda creepy.

[loraxc]

ITA that they are going to learn it and be deeply involved in it anyway, even if one avoids it early or does nothing to facilitate it early. DD got really into the computer for a while as a toddler and I didn't like the way we were going, so we cut back a lot. She actually didn't learn to mouse till she was 5 and is still far less knowledgeable/interested in computers than many of her age peers. I have no concerns about this. She is going to pick it up, period. She's read some series books that advertise websites and gone to those, and she has a couple of Webkinz and does that sometimes, but it isn't a big part of our lives. The evidence is that screentime is screentime, and we strive to be low-screentime, but if it became a real passion and seemed productive, I might rethink. Generally, though, like moominmamma, we prefer to encourage a high-chicken-poop lifestyle in the early years.

[moominmamma]

A high-chicken-poop lifestyle, love it! 

In lieu of chicken poop, I think anything that is free-form and potentially messy will work great. 

Sink and water and bubbles and dishes to pour with.

Muffin batter to mix. 

Paint.

Playdough.

Sandboxes with lots of water.

Dress-up clothes.

Puppets.

A hill and a hole and a hose.

A box of percussion instruments. 

A garden.

Paper, scissors, glue and collage materials.

Piles of fall leaves.

Couch cushions and blankets.

Miranda

[Linda on the move]

don't forget boxes -- huge or tiny, they are the best toys ever!

When my kids were young, putting on music seemed to help keep the screens off. They still often opt to listen to books on tape while doing other things rather than plunking down in front of screens.

[meemee]

so much depends on the personality of the child adn how they use technology. 

for instance dd is the do a bunch kind and then stay away. she is the kind who initially is constantly on it, totally drowns in it and then is done. so i cant really tell her half hour once a day is all you get. that would be extremely limiting and frustrating for her. she is more the 8 hours a day for a couple of days and then whenever the mood strikes her - a few hours and then done. i notice like me she doesnt like repeatition. and thus her dsi since dec has hardly been used. a couple of games. the camera. the animation app and she is done. i have no clue when was the last time she used it. a month maybe?

we have never been a tv watching family. a movie watching yes. not much tv. however we are plugged in very much due to work and school so dd started at the keyboard at 3 months old. 

she loves stories and story telling. she can completely devour books as much as her favourite animes online. we have argued over the pros and cons of reading vs watching her anime shows. and she has brought me to realise that all the different medias need to be assesed by themselves. not by comparison. 

however this is about when seh is 8 when media is really becoming a discussing matter between the two of us.

as an infant and toddler as others have pointed out - other things matter much more. the need for sensory play played a huge deal in dd's life. i had to discover things that one didnt think about or really mention. like all teh senses. no one really talks about the sense of taste and oral sense. dd was huge with these. even at 3 months she wanted licks of things. her putting dangerous things in her mouth lasted a v. short period of time. but putting things in her mouth is still going on and will probably stay with her her whole life. 

that is why texture is so important for her. while she refused oatmeal with different textures in it like raisins and nuts even today, she still seeks play with mixing liquids and seeing how they mix which she has been doing since she was 3 years old. 

[AllisonR]

I am enjoying this thread very much, especially moominmamma and Roars examples. Mirandas comment about technology pulling us relentlessly is spot on. Maybe even too close for comfort.

DS and DD have had their own computer since 18 months. We have 20 minutes per day rule. I think this is necessary in our house, with our children, because computer time, especially for DS, is almost like a drug drawing him in. So I figure it needs to be firm time limits or no computer at all.We will sometimes research one of their current interests on line. Sometimes they print something out and it is then used in "real life" play, for example theatre puppets, or coloring book images. But 95% of the time, they use their 20 minutes to play online games (friv) or watch youtube videos. I don't think these sites are very useful, but maybe they do not think my posting in an online forum is useful either, kwim?

Do I wish I had started the computer later? No. But I do wish I was 98% consistent with the 20 minute rule, because if I let it slip, then I can see it affecting my son. If he has more, he only wants more, complains when he has to get off, asks for just one more level or film... He will try to close the door to sneak in extra time, or start a long film right before his time is up.... these are all signs to me that it is more than just a fun activity. Once he is off, then he is fine building legos, going to the playground, drawing.... But every once in a while I slip. If DH is online and I am crazy busy and let him have extra time, it becomes a downward spiral and the behaviours above appear.

Things that have worked for us: we keep all computers in a common, open room. So everybody can see everybody and we all know who is on what and for how long. Also, I stay off the computer as much as possible until after the kids are in bed. Not 100%, but I try to keep it to way less than the 20 min they have. They can see I have a life outside the computer. DH is not as good at this, I often have to strongly encourage him to get off. I do not think it would be reasonable to say DS and DD get 20 min and then for DH and I to be on two hours. They learn from our example, not our words.

I also agree with the others that some of this will be personality. Some personalities are addicted to computers, like anything else. I was addicted to simple video games for a year. My solution was to trash the DVDs and never play again. This was the only way for me to not waste more of my life. I haven't played a viedo game in probably 15 years. My DS is more drawn to the pc than DD. When I was growing up, my brother and sister both watched a ton of tv. I was into art and watched way less tv. Same home, same enviornment, but different personality and different genes (adopted) affected our viewing. Today I watch maybe an hour of tv a week tops, DH watches maybe an hour a month, DS and DD won't watch more than 2-3 hours a week. So we don't have the "tv gene". But technology pays all the bills over here, so the "computer gene" is really strong.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by AllisonR 
Things that have worked for us: we keep all computers in a common, open room. So everybody can see everybody and we all know who is on what and for how long. Also, I stay off the computer as much as possible until after the kids are in bed. Not 100%, but I try to keep it to way less than the 20 min they have. They can see I have a life outside the computer. DH is not as good at this, I often have to strongly encourage him to get off. I do not think it would be reasonable to say DS and DD get 20 min and then for DH and I to be on two hours. They learn from our example, not our words.

This is our struggle too.  DH and I both work on our computers and, well, there's not always a lot of work we have that ISN'T on the computer.  We try to work at home quite a bit so we have more time with DD (we have an extremely long commute at the moment until we can buy a car) so it's almost impossible not to spend a lot of time on the computer when she's around.  It something we'd like to change but are not sure how?  I hate the example we're setting.  Ironically, I actually have a lot of hobbies I'd love to be doing but can never manage to find the time for... Also, I read books a lot but only on the kindle (we live abroad and it's the only way to get most books in English), do you think that also sets a bad example? 

[CA Mom]

I live and used to work in silicon valley. Computers are our world here. All three of my kids were proficient with a mouse and playing their own games by 2. My gifted kid by 15 months. I have no issues with screen time as long as it is balanced with other activities.

[joensally]

I haven't read baby/early brain development stuff in quite awhile, but IIRC, real world experiences that happen with emotional interactivity and in actual 3D are optimal.   My kids first played on the computer at 3, occasionally.  The older one is now running two blogs and the younger is gearing up for video game design and programming.

I don't think keeping them off the computer harms them at all.  My bet is that two eight year olds with approximately the same level of interest, will have similar skills even if one started on the computer at 2 and the other at 6.  I also don't think that there's much they need to learn in those early years that isn't accessible and interesting in the real world. 

I'm with moominmama's comments.  I think that the instantaneous nature of online is inhibiting the development of those very important executive function skills (ie response inhibition, self-regulation) in many kids.

I'm also a very wired mom - I'm online on the laptop, one kid's playing with the space app on my iphone, and the other child is doing math with good old paper and pencil, but likely wishing he was playing a video game :).  I think it is hard to navigate a reasonable balance, but I don't think there's any huge gain for very young kids on computers.

[St. Margaret]

My dd has been the type to be totally fine with moderation. She might get really into something while it helps her learn, but then she's done. And she prefers real world stuff anyway. I have seen totally addicted little kids so I vowed to not let my kids get like that, we'll see how ds is with it.

Dh is a programmer and wahd and I write and do a bunch of stuff like reserving books and such. So she sees us using tech. But she also sees me reading books a lot too, when not holding a baby it's more than reading on my phone. We actually did signing time before one, and she was obsessed until she could communicate and then stopped asking for it. Same with starfall, she asked for it a lot too she learned her letters and some sound combos, then left it tip she was ready to really read. Now she can and she's over it again.

Dh set her up to type stories about her alter ego Lauren and it was pretty cool! So we were discussing having a folder for her. But she spends HOURS drawing and writing and crafting too (right now she has no free access to pens or crayons bc she was drawing on not-paper again, but typically. Hence the computer yesterday!). I want her to practice writing a lot, but typing seems a great thing for a kid who wants to write stories but still has a four year old hand. I don't want her practicing poor pen holding... But also I worry she'll train herself to peck since her hands are so small but I figure a typing course will help later.

We don't make excessive use of tech for learning or life, but at times it's a useful and sensible and fun tool! We don't watch tv except movie night on weekends and while sick, but even then I have to talk her into it at times (when she won't rest or I need the break lol). She learned in a day how to totally use an iPhone (thanks cool aunt!) and taught me when I got mine a week later lol. I want her to be literate and comfortable, especially with learning bc it will always change. But for kids who are in their own heads too much (not all gifted kids but when it's problematic) physical labor is awesome. Plus I darn well want her to be just as comfy in a garden, building things, sewing, and cooking, as with tech.

[Cherkay]

I have a four year old that would spend every waking minute on the computer if I would allow it.  He's completely obsessed with math and puzzle type games.  I don't feel the games hurt him but I do limited the time he is allowed to play.  He tends to become intensely focused on the things he likes and I feel that allowing him too much time on the games encourages him to limit his interests.  The computer games have now become a privelege rather than something he gets to do whenever he wants.  He recently got in trouble in school for being argumentative with the teacher so I told him that if I get anymore reports of that type of behavior he would no longer be allowed any computer time.  It is amazing what an angel he has become since then!  Also we encourage him to do other types of activities before he is allowed computer time after school.  The same for mornings.  If he gets all of his morning checklist done quickly he gets a few minutes of computer time before school.  This system is working really well for us.  I have found that now that I am requiring him to work on other activities before he gets on the computer he is really starting to blossom in those areas.  He is taking a bigger interest in reading and actually asking me to work on his books and sight words with him.  We live in a fast paced technology driven world and our children need to have exposure to it but there also needs to be balance.  At this time I do feel I've been able to balance the situation but I think it will become harder and harder as my kids get older.  Like others have said, all kids are different, too.  You might find your child doesn't have a big interest in them.  My 2nd grade daughter is just now showing the desire to use the computer and it is still not her favorite activity.  If your child isn't drawn to them you might not want to push it much until they are older. 
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[tccandlsccmom]

There are SO many issues related to this topic, and this discussion touches on them in really good ways!  For us, I have decided that balance is key.  My kids love the computer and the Wii but they also love sledding and finding worms and cooking and playing cards....some days they don't ask, some days the computer is all they want, and I think it all balances out!