How much supervision is enough? - Page 3

[AKislandgirl]

My 2 year old plays in the yard on her own but not for long stretches. More like I'm out with her and then run in the house to grab something, switch the laundry, etc... Our yard is fenced and she happily roams around. We have 2 dogs that are usually out there when we are. Until she's older I won't feel comfortable leaving her for more then a few minutes in the yard alone. If she's with an older cousin or neighbor she gets more freedom in the yard alone.

[Honey693]

In that situation I'd do in a second, dog included. I leave both my kids alone with my dog. They crawl on him, ride him, pull his tail and ear and if it bugs he he gets up and leaves. If he's ok with it he'll just roll over and lick them. I can't leave my 2.5 year old alone outside b/c our yard isn't fenced it and we have a busy road in back.

[crunchy_mommy]

Just out of curiosity... are your kids good about not opening the fence gates?

Our backyard is not fenced (though it's in our plans, probably won't happen for a while) but our front yard is (short picket fence) and DS has no interest in staying outside back or front, without me or DH (although we might leave him for a minute in the front yard while we grab something from the house or whatever). We also don'have a door to the backyard (well, there is a door in the basement, but we don't really hang out in my icky basement....)

But all I can think of is, if I left him in a fenced backyard, he would just open the gate (he wouldn't necessarily take off, he'd probably just open & close the gate over and over....) which kind of would negate the point of having a fence... Is my kid just weird about things like this, or do your kids open the gates as well?

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Just out of curiosity... are your kids good about not opening the fence gates?

Our backyard is not fenced (though it's in our plans, probably won't happen for a while) but our front yard is (short picket fence) and DS has no interest in staying outside back or front, without me or DH (although we might leave him for a minute in the front yard while we grab something from the house or whatever). We also don'have a door to the backyard (well, there is a door in the basement, but we don't really hang out in my icky basement....)

But all I can think of is, if I left him in a fenced backyard, he would just open the gate (he wouldn't necessarily take off, he'd probably just open & close the gate over and over....) which kind of would negate the point of having a fence... Is my kid just weird about things like this, or do your kids open the gates as well?

there are lots of styles of gates that kids can't open...For example the kind that you have to be tall enough to reach OVER the other side of the gate and unlatch...I don't think it would be that big of a challenge to stop a kid from opening a gate...Now if the kid was a climber, depending on the style of fence they might just climb over it!

[crunchy_mommy]

Well he's a bit of a climber but he's REALLY motivated to open latches. I can just picture him climbing up the gate to reach over and unlatch it lol. I guess when we do fence the yard we'll have to really think about gate options...

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Well he's a bit of a climber but he's REALLY motivated to open latches. I can just picture him climbing up the gate to reach over and unlatch it lol. I guess when we do fence the yard we'll have to really think about gate options...

my grandparents had gates in the fence around their pool and whatever lock they used it was hard for me at 10 to even get them open, without having to climb as well....I will ask them what kind of latches they were, they haven't changed them I know...also of he is a climber in general, so not dd's style so I don't have experience, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving him (if he was my little monkey) out unsupervised only because of that...DD is a chicken, shhe keeps 2 feet on the ground at all times, doesn't put anything in her mouth and won't stray far even when she has the chance!

[Youngfrankenstein]

I would do it!  My youngest is 16 months and it would be great if she could go out alone in a fenced back yard.  Sadly, we don't have one and I think it's going to be a long spring because she will be annoyed that she can't go out because I can't spend all day outside!

For me, I would be very frustrated and overwhelmed if I had to be in the same room as dd2 all of the time.  We are 99% of the time on the same floor while she is awake but I leave her up or down if I need to get something.  If I am cleaning upstairs, she's bound to be playing up there too, but if I were cleaning upstairs and she wanted to be downstairs on the other side of the house in her playroom, great! 

We have no dog anymore but I would have put her in the "never would bite" catagory.  I know I can't be 100% sure that it wouldn't have happened, but (let me speak for some others if I may be so bold) in the same way I'd let my dd roam the house without me, I think other mamas are saying they feel it's an o.k. risk to leave the kid with the pet. 

My daughter could find something and choke on it; that is possible.  I do my very best to have a very safe and baby-friendly household and feel I am at a comfortable risk level.

[ErynneM]

Oh, dear. Am I not supposed to let my toddler toddle around the backyard by himself? Well, crap. He's been going out by himself since he could walk unassisted (around 11-12mon). We check on him every so often, and now that he's 24mos, he often comes running in to show me things (rocks, sticks, leaves, bugs).

Yes, he eats dirt. It's good for him to have a little dirt in his diet. If he gets parasites, well... hell, that'll prove he's human. YOU have parasites on you and in you RIGHT NOW. Feel free to squick over it, but accept the truth of it.

I think even toddlers need SOME freedom. He's watched, he's protected, but he's not hovered over.

- E

[mckittre]

Our piece of land is 3 acres, and butted up against wilderness, with no fences, so we have to trust verbal limits if my 2 year old wants to be outside by himself.  I'll leave him out there for a minute while I run in to grab something, if he's visible from the windows. I'll also let him walk up to grandma's (on the same piece of land) if I'm watching from one end, and she's watching from the other. We have a well that's not entirely kid-proof yet, which is nowhere near where he usually plays. Once we get that taken care of I'll be ready to give him a bit more freedom, since he's quite good at listening to limits.

[revolting]

If I lived in a single family home that was fenced, I would think that situation would be fine. As someone who lives in a large apartment complex on the second floor, with no yard or fence, right next to a river in a large city in a neighborhood that's mostly quiet but does have some gang/drug activity, I don't even let my four year old outside alone.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein 

We have no dog anymore but I would have put her in the "never would bite" catagory.  I know I can't be 100% sure that it wouldn't have happened, but (let me speak for some others if I may be so bold) in the same way I'd let my dd roam the house without me, I think other mamas are saying they feel it's an o.k. risk to leave the kid with the pet.

THANK YOU!!! There is a huge difference between believing that your dog will never bite and refusing to acknowledge that it could ever happen, and knowing that the possibility is there, and accepting that, and then saying that you are willing to take that risk.

[cristeen]

The only reason my DS (19 mos) doesnt get to do this is because our back yard is not safe. I have no problem leaving him outside to explore at our friend's house whose yard is kid safe. At auntie's or grandpa's, he would need supervision still, since they dont have little ones to show them the hazards.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen 

THANK YOU!!! There is a huge difference between believing that your dog will never bite and refusing to acknowledge that it could ever happen, and knowing that the possibility is there, and accepting that, and then saying that you are willing to take that risk.

just so we're clear, I know you are casually referring to me..

I never EVER have thought or will think that it is LITERALLY not possible for even the most gentle dog to bite...You are supporting my very point that the mama knows the dog and has decided the risk is minimal enough that there won't be an issue.

Not a word more on the issue I promise!

[dalia]

I would totally do this minus the dog thing. I wish my yard was that safe. I think it is great that the op is doing this.

As for the dog thing, I just think every dog has it's threshold, yk? I mean, my toddler would probably stick his little fingers in the dogs eyes or something! I would be equally as concerned for the dog as I would the child, so I prob would just have the dog come in with me while the toddler was unsupervised, but that is just me.

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Just out of curiosity... are your kids good about not opening the fence gates?

Our backyard is not fenced (though it's in our plans, probably won't happen for a while) but our front yard is (short picket fence) and DS has no interest in staying outside back or front, without me or DH (although we might leave him for a minute in the front yard while we grab something from the house or whatever). We also don'have a door to the backyard (well, there is a door in the basement, but we don't really hang out in my icky basement....)

But all I can think of is, if I left him in a fenced backyard, he would just open the gate (he wouldn't necessarily take off, he'd probably just open & close the gate over and over....) which kind of would negate the point of having a fence... Is my kid just weird about things like this, or do your kids open the gates as well?

Yep.. mine would open it, no doubt.  I do not think your kiddo is weird.  Mines not .... well that is to be determined .

[FarmerBeth]

My (now much older) children loved their outside time as toddlers in, like yours, a safe, gated back yard.  Kids seem to explore and play differently when they don't realize mom is listening through the window and checking on them.  I think it has them feeling very independent.  You know your kid best to know if they would do anything impulsive that is a concern.  Enjoy it!

[Mama2mc]

I wouldn't leave my toddler by himself, even if I was near. Mostly I'm worried about poisonous spiders (even non-poisonous bug bites would bother me), if he did get bitten, he wouldn't be able to explain what happened/what bit him. A friend that lives close by has seen small scorpions not only in her yard, but also inside her home, we haven't but I still worry. Also, we had construction work done some time ago, and I worry he might get cut with a rusty nail or something, and though we did clean up as much as possible, every once in a while a sharp object surfaces. But that's our situation, your yard is probably safer.

[MamaofLiam]

If we had a yard, I would totally allow DS to play outside on his own with me checking in on him periodically. Ideally like a pp said, the yard would be visible from a lot of areas of the house so I could see out to him. In our case, I would not allow the dog out there with him mostly b/c I don't trust those two alone and I fear for the dog. She is very small and old, with very few teeth left. I would worry about him crushing her or something else as she's only 5lbs. I also think even though she is the most docile of creatures, I wouldn't want to see how far she could be pushed before she defended herself, yk?

[poetlizabeth]

 It is wonderful that your son has the space to play independently, and you still can be close by. I try to provide the five year I care with opportunities for independence. She likes to run in the back yard and I watch her from the window. We don"t have a fenced in yard but she is good about not going past the end of the yard.

 An enjoyable book and website is free range kids, while I don't agree with everything the author says her message is one a lot of parents need to hear!

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

[Ldavis24]

its so interesting because there are mamas who have to deal with concerns that wouldn't be an issue where I am...Like scorpions!! that would scare me quite a bit...

I was feeling brave today and dd was doing her thing while I was doing mine, she was around the corner of the house, next thing I know ear-splitting shrieks from her. The dog reaches her before I do and they are both just standing there...she was screaming because the BUGGIES (her word for all bugs) were scaring her, they were ants

on a side note, I think a mama mentioned she would feel better with her dog out with the kiddo and this is just how I feel, DD is safer with doggy out there...to protect her from buggies.