what's normal and what's aspie?

[mizznicole]

My son has been high needs since birth, and continues to be more work than my newborn!  He's very bright, starting to read at age 3, and gets obsessed with certain topics.  He also melts down when his order is disrupted.  If the sun is shining and you're arguing about whether it is, he'll deny it to the bitter end!

I'm trying to sort out what of his behaviors are normal toddler (and possibly due to allergies/sleep problems) or what may be a sign of AS.  I'm probably overreacting because I know a lot of AS people.

When I read the "early symptoms" they sound to me, so far, what a toddler is like....minus the eye contact thing. 

I am curious because I think it will change how I approach his tantrums. 

Thanks for your responses.

[nextcommercial]

It's hard to say.  But, he sounds like a regular 3 year old.  They are opinionated and make things more difficult than they should be.  

You say he's always been high maintenance though.... that would raise a red flag for me.  Have you ever had him in a group play setting?  Is there an obvious difference?

The obsessions might also raise a red flag for me.  But, everything else sounds like part of being 3 years old.

[curiouscanadian]

I'd been considering posting the same question lately. The "metls down when his order is disrupted" would concern me, but at the same time, most toddlers crave order for security...hou"  F

Not to thread-jack, but my concerns re: DS's behaviour include walking on tip-toes, over-sensitivity to sounds, the way he makes "trains" out of anything and everything (aka lining things up), definite clothing (tactile) preferences, and - after searching for the above mentioned "early symptoms" - his tendency to repeat back the things we say (we call him our little parrot). Yet on the other hand he is a very bright, loving, verbal boy.

I go back and forth about whether I should push for a diagnosis at this age and like you am wondering if I am just reading too much into things...

[Aegis]

Just my opinion, but the OP does sound more age-appropriate.  In one of my parenting class, they talked about using "I love you too much to argue" when dealing with "the sun is shining" sorts of arguments.  I'm thinking it's common since the class had a whole section devoted to this.

In regards to curiouscanadian's post, my son sounds somewhat similar to yours.  My son always found things to line up and make trains, he couldn't stand the feel of certain fabrics on his skin, and for a long time, I had to take the blender to my bedroom to run it because the sound was so upsetting to him, and vacuuming... yeah...  He also repeated everything.  In fact, he never originated speech, but could use phrases he'd heard elsewhere appropriately to communicate.  It's called Echolalia.  My son is affectionate, sweet, and bright.  And he is also on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. 

We've come a long way since the train-making, echo-filled days.  He wore jeans yesterday, which he started tolerating about a month ago.  He's now in charge of turning off my VitaMix and he's fine with vacuuming.  His echolalia returns every once in a while, but really he is almost conversational.  Not quite, but getting there.  He receives therapies, with much focus on processing issues.  We follow a special diet (gluten-free/casein-free for now, GAPS diet soon) and noticed huge improvements about 5 months into the diet.

Either way, I always suggest contacting Early Intervention (or its equivalent) any time there are concerns.  The earlier you can recognize the issues, the earlier you can start working on them!  Good luck to you both!