I know. I know i knowiknow it's probably hormones and circumstances, but I just can't seem to get excited about this baby. See, it's not exactly the situation we were hoping for, and I feel like a big baby complaining about it because sooooo many women have it way worse than I do. My husband is in the military, and for a while now we've known he probably wouldn't be here for the birth, but I think as long as he was here I was deluding myself into thinking he would always be here. I have never had a problem with deployments before, but for the first time this time I was holding back tears when we said goodbye. I think this little cloud has just kind of cast a shadow over the entire pregnancy, because he won't get home until baby is probably 4 ish months, and then all I can think about is how dramatically our relationship will probably change due to that, I mean, we've never handled one of his home-comings with more than just the 2 of us! It's just hard to think that we said goodbye and it's just us 2, and when we see each other again all of a sudden we'll be parents on top of everything else. I don't know....I don't think I can adequately describe how I'm feeling...like I said, it's probably mainly hormones.
I just always had this nice picture in my head of when we had our babies, that he would be in the delivery room with me, and now I'm having to swap that picture for a vision of me and my computer and hoping for the miracle that he can be online to skype through delivery