Originally Posted by TiredX2
Personally, I feel this is the largest stumbling block for many people when considering a homebirth. When we decided to embrace a homebirth, I had to make peace with the idea that sometimes horrible things just happen that you can't do anything about. Now, statistically, you're safer birthing at home, but if the SHTF, there is a lot of comfort in *not taking responsibility* for a poor outcome. And that is something that a high intervention hospital can protect you from. If the worst happens, then it most people will feel like they did everything they can. If the horror visits your home, meanwhile, IMO to be a good homebirth candidate you need to be able to say that bad things happen. Of course, people are very bad at statistical analysis especial when the ver rare possible outcome is so horrid.
I walked into my homebirth with my eyes wide open. I knew that I had a really good chance of ending up with another shoulder dystocia issue, since it happened with my first. I was willing to take responsibility for the birth and the outcome. I chose a midwife who had experience with resolving shoulder dystocias, and who I could trust to intervene only when necessary. I knew what would happen if I chose to birth in a hospital (induction due to measuring large, leading to further interventions, or freaking out and mismanaging the shoulder dystocia, and probably ending up with a dead baby). I knew what would happen if I chose to birth at a birth center, since I did that the first time (wonderful midwife, but still wasn't thrilled with the fear in his eyes and voice when faced with the shoulder dystocia). I wanted someone who would respect me and my right to choose my birth, and who I could trust. That's what I found in Karen. I had a scary birth. The shoulder dystocia was severe and he wasn't breathing when he was born. But, she stayed calm and collected and respectful and communicative, and everything turned out fine. I had accepted that it might not, but I was glad and relieved that it did.
I don't understand anyone who walks into a homebirth without being ready and willing to own that birth, to take full responsibility for that experience. That is so much the point of homebirth to me.