PTL and travel - WWYD?

[imogenlily]

MIL wants us to drive 1.5 hours away to a family picnic this weekend. I'm 35 weeks, and I spent part of last weekend in L&D, due to PTL symptoms. I'm slightly dilated and taking Procardia every 6 hours to prevent more contractions, but my membranes have not ruptured.

She's annoyed at me for being reluctant. Part of the reason I am reluctant is that DH can't drive, and so if I had more symptoms I'd probably have to take an ambulance or something and abandon the car out of town! We missed Christmas dinner because I couldn't drive us there because of HG. She doesn't like to drive here to visit us because the traffic is bad, so we haven't seen that side of the family since Fall, and they're feeling neglected.

Am I being neurotic/overestimating the risk?

Edited to add: I'm on partial/moderate bedrest, so I could probably get away with the driving, as long as I didn't do any standing/walking/mingling at the picnic itself. Yes, it would be a stretch, but not the worst possible thing. I'm more worried about going into labour and getting to the hospital.

Edited by imogenlily - 4/20/11 at 3:09pm

[Peony]

Nope. That isn't a trip I'd even consider doing if I were in your shoes. 

[kawa kamuri]

I'm planning on going to my DP's family reunion at about 35w. It's about a 2-3hr drive. I have no history of pre-term labour so at the worst it'll just be highly uncomfortable for me. 

Your MIL is being selfish, child-like and ridiculous. If there was some life or death reason for you to make the trip it might be reasonable but for an optional family picnic? Considering what's going on with your body and the risk to your baby I hereby declare that you should skip it, rest, love yourself and do so guilt free. Your health and that of the baby you're growing should come first. 

[bstandlee]

There's no way I would go. I would simply tell them your doctor told you not to leave town. It's too big of a risk. I had PTL and was on bedrest for 8 weeks, but when my water did break at 3DS was born less than an hour later.  If your MIL doesn't understand, that's her problem (I know, it's so easy to give advice and not be the one that has to deal with MIL!) I was 35 1/2 weeks when I gave birth by the way.

[erigeron]

I wouldn't go if you don't feel up to going--you have good reasons, but even if you just didn't want to, you're justified in not wanting to travel at 35 weeks. I think that if she really wants to see you & your husband, she should come visit you and deal with the traffic. For pete's sake.

[averlee]

I agree, I wouldn't go, no way. 

I think your mother in law must not be thinking right. I understand she wants to see you, but of course she would not want you to have a premature baby, just so you don't miss Easter.

You can always say, "sorry, doctor's orders". But me, I'd tell her what's what. Her annoyance at you is misplaced and she seems to forget that you are carrying her grandchild. You are the one in a position to be "annoyed" at people, not her. I had no indications of pre-term labor and still would not have sat 3 hours in a car to go to some family picnic at 35 weeks pregnant, and would have been very annoyed if anyone tried to make me feel obligated. Your obligation now is to your baby's optimal survival and health.

[matte]

I agree: don't go. It will be very tiring for you, at the least, and really I doubt it's safe. I mean, you're on medically ordered partial bedrest, for Pete's sake! If you are afraid of ruffling any feathers, tell your MIL that you would LOVE to come, but you are not sure if it's ok with the doctor, and then call your doctor. Ask your doctor if it's safe, playing up all the reasons you don't want to go. I'm pretty sure the doctor will rule against. Or MAYBE, MAYBE say it's ok, but with very strict conditions. Then you can just tell MIL that SADLY the doctor has said that you are not allowed to make a trip like this, but that you would be VERY HAPPY to have them visit.

[Mama Metis]

Definitely don't go, and blame your doc/mw. To make everybody (including yourself) feel better about it, do something nice to let the family know you are thinking about them. Maybe send a nice card/email to the hosts. Maybe send a flower arrangement. Maybe see if somebody can take a laptop and allow you to Skype into the family picnic. Do whatever makes sense to make sure they understand that you'd surely rather NOT be dealing with preterm labor, but instead be there with them. And let them know you can't wait for everyone to meet the new baby when the time is right. 

[MeepyCat]

Absolutely not.  IMO, a 90 minute drive is *not* compatible with pelvic rest, or partial or modified bed rest.  Double that if you're driving. 

Stay home, keep your feet up, and tell them that you're doing your best to give them a big, healthy grandchild.  That is, if you can resist them temptation to tell them to suck it up.