Child leading me to lead !?!

[WaturMama]

This morning, seemingly out of the blue, my 6 yo ds said, "Maybe it's time for me to stop nursing."

We talked about that a little and ended up making a really sweet little project together--writing our thoughts about what we've liked about nursing and what we think about ending it, and adding drawings. I'm so, so, so glad I thought of that. That will be cherished. Throughout this his attitude was we were exploring ending nursing.

When we finished that I asked him if he thought this was time to stop. He said he wanted me to tell him when to stop. I told him I'd really like him to choose when he feels ready. He said since I give him the milk I should choose. My instinct is to keep encouraging him to choose, but then I wonder if I'm holding too tightly to MY image of the child-led weaning--if the child is leading me to this, maybe this is what he needs/wants. Would choosing for him then be child-led??!

Kind of a philosphical question in a way. It makes me laugh, but I do need to address it and wonder if any of you have any thoughts.

[Kristin0105]

Maybe you guys could pick a day when it would end and then plan a weaning party or other means to celebrate.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by WaturMama 

He said since I give him the milk I should choose.

That is so sweet.... what a deep level of respect that seems to reflect!!

I can't say exactly what I'd do in that position, my nursling is only 2 and I have a hard time ever imagining him letting me choose lol, but I would be inclined to say choose TOGETHER. It could be as formal as pulling out the calendar and picking the date that works for both of you, or maybe just checking in with each other occasionally as to when weaning might occur -- next week? next month? next year? But I guess I don't think one or the other of you needs to choose... you sound like you have such an open relationship & he is communicating with you so well, that choosing together could be a great option. Aww this makes me want to cry actually.

[WaturMama]

Thank you both for the replies (Kristin, how fun to see you over here!)

crunchy_mommy, it is so dear to me that that story touched your heart. Yes, we do have good communication. He is such a wonderful, wise kid--part of why when he says "you choose" I really pay attention! I really like the idea of choosing together as a third option--that it doesn't have to be one or the other. I'm excited to find out what happens when I talk to him about that.

If anyone else wants to chime in, I'm still interested.

Edited by WaturMama - 4/25/11 at 8:47pm

[Kristin0105]

Waturmama, good to see you here as well ;) Looking forward to hearing how it turns out. A collaborate effort is the way I would go if I had a chance to do it over. Your son is lucky you are so thoughtful. This is the one area I feel I really goofed.