19 mo hitting, pinching

[Katc8910]

I'm looking for advice on how to handle my 19 mo DD hitting and pinching me.  She does it only when she's upset with me (ex. I won't let her have something or I want to change her diaper when she doesn't want to, etc.).  So it seems like she does it in anger, but I'm not sure she actually understands that she's hurting me.  We use gentle discipline so when she hits or pinches me, I say "ouch, that hurts mama" or "no hitting, pinching - it hurts", "soft and gentle touches please", etc.  So now she'll pinch me real hard and say "ouch!" and she'll laugh as she does it.  Or she'll touch my face gently and say "soft" and then smack me really hard and say "ouch!" while laughing.  I'm trying to tell myself that she does not understand that she's hurting me and that she's just interested in seeing my reaction, which apparently amuses her.  However, in the moment, it gets very frustrating and I sometimes feel myself getting angry and resentful.  I realize that she may be in this stage for a long time & I want to learn how to handle it without getting so worked up about it & I want to teach her not to hurt others. 

[Katc8910]

No one?

[callahansmama]

My son (11 months) is really rough too, although he does it more when he's happy and playing or when he's restless and trying to fall asleep. He smacks me in the face and loves to grab our noses, lips and hair.  I don't have much advice. From what I have read, it's a good idea not to show a reaction if you can manage it (I know it's hard, I am not good at this) or to turn away from them and stop giving them attention each time. Maybe try the gentle discipline forum. I think that by 19 months they have a bit more of an idea that what they are doing is getting a reaction good or bad so they continue doing it. Good luck:)

[Katc8910]

Thank you!

[Greenlea]

My DS was horrible at hitting at this age.  He would hit me and others quite a bit.  But he did grow out of it.  I would do what you did and say "ouch you hurt mama" or something along those lines.  I never punished him for it because I felt he wasn't really doing it out of malice, but because he really could not communicate with me and he was getting frustrated.

We worked on really upping our sign language and that helped a ton.  He rarely hits now.