35 weeks pregnant - I don't think I need a stroller, and everyone is telling me I'm crazy - Page 2

[justrachelmarie]

Hi!  We didn't get a stroller until DD was 8 months and then we only used it occasionally to go to the zoo or something.  We also had a Britax seat, so we never did the baby bucket thing, either.  I think because she was so used to being taken out of the seat and put in the sling from the time she was tiny, she learned to sleep through it and we never had a problem.  We would lay her in the booth seat at the restaurant, or even in the grass on her blanket if it was a pretty day and we were outside.  It was lovely.

[madcap150]

I think your approach sounds great. I am expecting #2 and I need a stroller-- for the 3 year old I can no longer keep up with! The baby, however, I expect to wear all the time unless he is super different from his older brother. FWIW, we do have a stroller that adapts for tiny ones, but I only used it once or twice. DS and I were both happier when I was wearing him. We didn't have a bucket car seat, either, so the car seat stayed in the car and I just transferred him-- for him it wasn't a big deal.

I don't understand why "I might decide to get one later, and then I could get a cheaper one for an older baby, but I just don't want to be loaded down with more STUFF right now!" would get so much flak! If you're not declaring that strollers are the most evil invention known to man, I'm not sure what there is to be upset about.

[sosurreal09]

people will always be intimidated. I told everyone not to get DD "babies" with bottles or strollers and everyone had a heart attack. If you say you don't need a stroller b/c you will be wearing your baby people will question if they were inferior. Just let it slide.

I also second your baby will get used to being taken out and worn even while sleeping. I used to *try* to keep DD in the car seat when she fell asleep and I was running errands or something but she would always scream and scream at some point and I had to always wear her anyway and those bucket seats are a PIA and heavy.

[neptunemama]

My girls are 11 and 9, and I never had a stroller.  I carried them in a front pack or backpack whenever I went out.  That said, if I lived where I could walk to stores for grocery shopping, one might have been helpful.  Or if I had a bad back, knee, etc.. then it would be important.  But I've never had an occasion to want one.  We've traveled to several countries w/the girls, been to zoos, museums etc... and it was never a problem.  

[aphel]

OP, we also got a surprising amount of flak for not purchasing a stroller. And as a pp stated, a lot of people take it quite personally when you deviate on anything when it comes to parenting - it's almost as if they feel you are saying their way was inferior. Sometimes it helps to be sensitive to that. But then again, sometimes not, and it can be frustrating to deal with.

As far as the stroller thing, DD is 9 months and has yet to ride in one. She hated her car seat from day 1, so I'm confident in saying that she wouldn't have ever sat pleasantly in a stroller even if we had wanted her to.

However, the other day we were at the store and I put her in the front of the cart, and she absolutely loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. So at this point I am considering purchasing something for her for going on walks, etc. However, she would be put in the stroller for the purpose of going on a stroller ride, not solely as a means for transportation. It's something to think about, some babies really do enjoy being strolled about, though it doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't wear or carry a baby who enjoys a stroller.

Also, if you aren't going to get a stroller, I highly recommend a carrier that you can do up quickly and easily, like a ring sling or Ergo. And when people prod you about your lack of a stroller, you can always point out how little space your Ergo takes up in the car!

[Sharon, RN]

You are not crazy.  I think people and babies have different needs.

I didn't have a stroller with DS#1 until my mom bought me one when he was maybe 8 or 9 months old?  We used it occasionally, but I much preferred babywearing.  

With DS#2, I still babywear, but I can't do it as much as I did with DS#1.  I'm older, and working as an ICU nurse for several years did not do favors to my back.  I ended up getting a stroller before DS#2 was born, but just because it came as part of a travel system.  When he was a newborn, and still asleep, I'd take the car seat/stroller thing into the store, put on the Moby, and pop the baby in the Moby when he woke up.  Then I'd use the stroller as my "cart."  My mother also stayed with us until DS#2 was a few months old, and she loved taking the baby for walks, but could not tolerate baby wearing for very long, so they both really enjoyed the stroller.

I also have 2 dogs that I need to walk everyday, and that doesn't feel safe to do while baby wearing, so I use a sturdy stroller for that.  

There will always be strollers around.  If you find out you need one, go get one.  But I doubt the earth will stop on it's axis if you don't have one before the baby is born.

(As a side note- is anyone else seeing all these ads that feature talking women on the side??  How annoying!  LOL)

[dogretro]

If someone wants to give you one as a gift, IMO, it's not really a big deal.  Both of my kids, as newborns, did not care for the stroller, so I wore them.  I DO wake a sleeping baby (unintentionally) to put them in a ring sling when we get out of the car.  Dh and I do not carry babies in their seats.  Even with two kids, we still don't use our v nice double stroller that much, even with going to the zoo and such, even by myself.  It has gotten to the point where we feel that the stroller is more of a hassle now.  As many others have said, though, you and your baby may really enjoy having a stroller in a few or many months.  DD1 loooooves riding in the stroller!

[tinuviel_k]

We got a little inexpensive umbrella stroller and used it once. We decided the Ergo was much better for us. I had her on my front for the first 4-5 months and then on my back after that. I welcomed the oppertunity for exercise and to feel close to my little one. For all the activities we did the Ergo was all I needed. If I were a runner or jogger I would have been more likely to want a stroller for regular use.

We eventually got a nice bike trailer, and you could purchase a front wheel for it so it could act as a stroller as well as a trailer. We loved it for cycling. We had her ride in it as a stroller when we'd go inline-skating, too. It was really nice when we walked to the grocery store: our daughter rode on my back, and we stuffed the trailer with groceries! Ditto at the farmers market. But I don't think we really used it as a "stroller" on a regular basis.

My advice: if you don't think you need one then don't get one. If some time goes by and you feel one will be useful then you can buy one in less than an hour! If people give you hard time about it just say that you will buy one if you find you'll need one.

And folks will pester. I had family tell me I was nuts, friends express disbelief, and folks telling me not to be a martyr to my child. My grandmother told me I would turn my child into a tyrant by carrying her instead of using a stroller. I had a complete stranger with a baby on a bus give me a hard time about not using a stroller. She was really smug and "sympathetic" and kept calling me "honey" and telling me I was working too hard and that using a stroller was SO much more convienent than carrying a baby on my back. I had to struggle not to laugh when she had to wrestle this HUGE stroller out from under the bus seat, dropped it while trying to open it, dropped it again, then almost dropped her baby! I would have felt bad for her had she not just been so condecending to be one minute before.

For some reason the decision to not use a stroller is something that gets a lot of folk's dander up.

[mckittre]

I've never used one with my 2 yr old or  my 3 month old.  It wouldn't be very convienient here.  I don't think strollers are bad, but I do think that our culture's obsession with buying more and more and more new stuff is!  If someone wants to pass along their old stroller, take it and see if you like it.  But I wouldn't go pick up a new thing just on the off chance you might need it later.  Get it later.

[azhie]

I can relate-- I asked my family not to buy a stroller and other baby stuff like bottles until I see that we'd need it. Wait and see just makes more sense instead of buying stuff and not using them! My mother said it's a bad idea to carry the baby all the time because the baby will get too spoiled and attached to the parent, and also why would I want to hurt my back by carrying all that weight? And my father thinks I'm determined to remain uncivilized by not making use of modern technology. 

Everyone has their own ideas about what works best. I just wish they'd respect others' ideas!
 

Originally Posted by tinuviel_k 



And folks will pester. I had family tell me I was nuts, friends express disbelief, and folks telling me not to be a martyr to my child. My grandmother told me I would turn my child into a tyrant by carrying her instead of using a stroller. I had a complete stranger with a baby on a bus give me a hard time about not using a stroller. She was really smug and "sympathetic" and kept calling me "honey" and telling me I was working too hard and that using a stroller was SO much more convienent than carrying a baby on my back. I had to struggle not to laugh when she had to wrestle this HUGE stroller out from under the bus seat, dropped it while trying to open it, dropped it again, then almost dropped her baby! I would have felt bad for her had she not just been so condecending to be one minute before.

For some reason the decision to not use a stroller is something that gets a lot of folk's dander up.

[sosurreal09]

for the record my chiropracter said wearing DD in a wrap or sling is a life saver for my back as opposed to propping her on my hip ect. I also have a very bad back due to a childhood injury and pushing a stroller hurts more for me than wearing DD on my back IDK why though.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Just curious -- are you getting a lot of flak because you are being insistent that you don't need one?  Take the path of least resistance!   As the pp's indicate, you can't really know pre-baby whether you'll want a stroller or not.  There is absolutely no rule against waiting to see if you want one, but people may be reacting to your sense of certainty, which clashes with their experience.  If people ask you why you don't want one, just say that when and if the time comes, you'll get one, but it might be nice to be able to try them in the store with the baby to find the best one for you. (Or whatever reason works for you.) You aren't promising you'll get one, but you also aren't saying that -- unlike them -- you don't need one.  I find I got the most flak when I cast my alternative decisions as "best", and got less flak when I was willing to admit that different people have experiences.  (Also, 10+ years of parenting have taught me that the more ideological you are about your plans, the more crow you have to eat later!  )

Don't register for one, but if someone insists on buying you one anyway, smile sweetly and say "thank you very much!"  If you end up using it later -- even a couple of years later -- fantastic.  If you never or seldom use it, you can sell it and use the money for something you discover that you *do* need or want. 

Your time is near!  Enjoy that baby.  :o)

[VocalMinority]

During my 2nd pregnancy, I took advantage of a great deal on a beautiful infant stroller that converted into a pram and rocked...then never used it!  My 1st pregnancy was twins, who were micro-premies and spent the 1st year out of the hospital attached to oxygen tanks & apnea monitors, so I never could have left the house without their stroller.  I developed some serious back issues, just carrying them places as much as I did.  I could not have done it more.  So, I just assumed strollers were as essential as breasts!

With my "normal" baby, I did find that a good, toddler-sized stroller with all-terrain tires (Jeep) was essential sometimes, from ~18mos. to 3.  It's nice if it reclines enough for a snooze.  I didn't use ours every day, but once your baby is older, heavier and more inquisitive, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him/her hitching a ride without being attached to you.  You may go places where he'll want to walk, then he'll tire before everyone else and he may enjoy the rhythm of the wheels and the ability to look/move around more than if he's tied to you.  Also, the heavier babies get, the more of a challenge you have, making sure you don't cut off circulation in their legs, with carriers.  I'm not saying don't use them!  But, for example, when we visited Williamsburg, I would not have wanted to be without our all-terrain stroller.  Much of the time, it was merely a convenient way to carry our home-cooked lunches, water, diapers, maps... but there were times when it was invaluable for the baby, too.

If people are wanting to buy you a stroller, consider, instead of trying to convince them why you want to carry your infant, asking them to buy you a stroller that will be good when he/she's older and put it away until then.

[Kim919]

The nice thing is - nobody is going to stop manufacturing strollers the day your baby is born, so you don't really need to decide at all.

For a little baby the only reason I can think you would need a stroller is if you are somebody who walks at a fast pace or likes to jog outdoors, as I feel jogging or fast walking would be too jarring for the child in any type of Carrier. I didn't buy a stroller until my daughter was about 6 months old and I decided I wanted to start jogging again.

If you realize at some point after your baby is born that "hmm.. a stroller would be really convenient in this situation" you can always buy one at that point. I bought a decent jogging stroller on Craigslist, and for the amount I use it I feel justified in the $50 I spent.

[flower01]

I did not need one in the beginning at all. But, once my babies walk they really like to be up and down a lot and sometimes a stroller is just way more convenient.  We babywear MOST of the time, but there are times when I like havign a stroller...like at the mall, either to hold your bags or to allow you to put your baby down so you can try some clothes on.  Now that I hae 2 kids I definitely NEED a stroller.  I know somepeople wear 2 but it wasn't for me.