which comes first: the nightweaning or the separate beds?

[hildare]

we want both!  where did YOU start?  tell me your story! 

[sunnygir1]

We started with separate beds, but night weaning followed quickly.

Dd, now 4yo:  Around 17 months I started putting her down at night in her own bed in the next room, where she had a full mattress on the floor.  (I had been putting her down for naps in there for a while prior to this).  Then when she woke, I would go to her, and usually at some point toward morning she would wind up in our bed with us.  Then we started working on night weaning.  We began with no nursing from midnight - 5am, then soon it became my bedtime - 5am, then her bedtime - 5am, then her bedtime - 7am.  We had a rough week or so, but she adjusted.  She still wasn't a stellar sleeper, but I think both having her in her own bed and room and night weaning helped us all get more sleep.  Night weaning also prepared us for later weaning from nursing to sleep because she learned to lie down next to me and go to sleep in the night when I wouldn't nurse her.

Ds, now 19 months:  We un-side-carred our crib a few months ago.  He is still in our room, but he goes down for naps and bedtime in the crib.  When he wakes, he generally comes to our bed.  I think it's probably been 2 months on the night-weaning.  I did the midnight - 5am thing with him, too.  It quickly moved to my bedtime - 5am, and actually most nights it's his bedtime - 5am.  He has had some really bad nights with teething, ear aches, colds, or maybe allergies? so I have occasionally let him nurse earlier just to try to get us some sleep.  This has worked once or twice, but usually when I give in before 5am he nurses but doesn't go back to sleep anyway.  He seems to have a few good nights, 3-7, followed by a few bad nights.  I really think this is related to teething, ear aches, and colds rather than night weaning.  I am definitely getting more sleep slowly but surely -- I can't wait until that magic time (2.5-3 years?) when we will sleep through the night most nights!

[D_McG]

With mine I weaned first and then did separate beds. 2/2.5 is when separate beds seemed reasonable for them. But I couldn't wait that long to wean (or, I didn't want to, I guess). I weaned both of them them at 22 and 20 mos and that gave us a few months of good sleep together before I got itchy for change again.

Now we're in the blissful point of having both kids (mostly) STTN in their own beds. Right in time to have a new baby to make it all hellish again

[Manka]

SunnyGirl- quick question, what did you do whilst night weaning when your DD woke ? How would you get her back to sleep & was it very hard to do. I am looking to night wean my 12mth old DS (so that i can get some sleep & break the nurse to sleep association) but am struggling with how hard it will be in the middle of the night to get him to re-settle without nursing.

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by Manka 

SunnyGirl- quick question, what did you do whilst night weaning when your DD woke ? How would you get her back to sleep & was it very hard to do. I am looking to night wean my 12mth old DS (so that i can get some sleep & break the nurse to sleep association) but am struggling with how hard it will be in the middle of the night to get him to re-settle without nursing.

Um, yeah.  It was hard, but then again, it was hard with my babies anyway.  I tried many things, lying beside her and singing/cuddling, getting up and walking her, rocking in the arm chair, holding her tightly, etc.  The thing is that even when we nursed in the night she sometimes needed something else in the night.  With both of mine I tried introducing a pacifier and a cup of warm almond milk to help soothe them.  I also offered water and a snack (plain rice cake) in case the baby was thirsty or hungry -- I did this in the dark while holding them, so it wasn't like we were getting up to eat and play.  I think you'll just have to try the things that usually soothe your child and know that it is very likely that within the first week things will settle down.

[jocelyndale]

DS self nightweaned and started STTN between 32 and 34mo.  He just turned four last month; we have a family bed with no intentions on changing it anytime soon.  Maybe this year, maybe not.

[wasabihoneybee]

I definitely weened first. My first son was very easy to ween. It took a couple nights of telling him stories and singing to him when he woke up, but otherwise it was smooth. My daughter was very unhappy to stop nursing and cried at night. She would wake up in the middle of the night and ask for food. One time she sat up and said she wanted sweet potato. Hee hee. Anyway, my last child still talks about nursing and it has been almost three years since he nursed. All my kids still like to climb in at night which has been hard to shift. I think all kids are different, and see what works for you. Good Luck!!

[Manka]

Thanks Sunny Girl. Will give it a shot & see how we go - thanks again