Feeling so desperate...thinking of night weaning my 18 month old

[abigail_b]

Hi All,

Both my husband and I are completely at the end of our rope. Our 18 month old daughter has never been a good sleeper, but it has gotten to the point of unbearable. We co sleep with her and our 4 year old (We have a full sized mattress next to a king sized mattress). My 4 year old sleeps through from 7 pm to 6-7 am. Our daughter nurses all.night.long. Lately she also wakes really early in the morning. She often gets restless around 3:30 am and needs to nurse pretty much non stop just to keep her semi asleep until 5 or 5:30 am. She naps during the day for 1.5 hours. So even though she goes to bed early at night (between 6:30 and 7 pm), she is not getting the recommended sleep for her age. I have been sick pretty much non stop this winter- I'm sure because of the lack of sleep. My husband gets up with her in the mornings- and sometimes in the middle of the night if she has nursed several times and isn't going back to sleep, so he is exhausted as well.

We both work full time. I work from home 3 days per week, but cannot nap during the days since I am working. She has had various molars coming through, illnesses etc., but she has never ever slept well at night, so it is difficult to say how related those things are. Some nights are better than others- meaning she will nurse just one side and go back to sleep (but still wake frequently), other nights are pure torturous hell.

I night weaned my son when he was a little over 2 years old. The process worked well for us and wasn't too traumatizing, and it enabled us to keep co sleeping. I had planned the same for my daughter, but I don't know if we can go that long. However, the thought of trying to nightwean her sends me into a panic. How would we even do it? Would it traumatize her? She is so dependent on the night nursing (only nurses once during the day at naptime, or more often if she gets hurt). On the other hand, I wonder if I am actually doing her a disservice since she isn't getting enough sleep and we can't be the best parents possible when we are so chronically sleep deprived.

Please please offer me some advice and support!!

Thank you!!!

[D_McG]

go for it! I got to that point with both of mine where nursing at night just wasn't working anymore. Wasn't helping them sleep.. wasn't restful for me. A couple of nights of upset and it was all over with. For my son I just refused to nurse.. lots of hugs instead. With my DD I had to leave her with DH for I think 3 nights.

Jay Gordon's weaning plan is recommended a lot. To me it's a bit drawn out but it's a good starting point, I think!

[Geigerin]

I second Dr. Jay Gordon's plan. It's gentle and tailored to bedsharing:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Hugs to you. 18 months is definitely old enough for a transition to night weaning. Hoping it's a relatively smooth transition for you!

[mamazee]

I would at least try. If she's obviously not ready, then back off, but even if she nurses less often at night it'll be good. And it might go really smoothly. I night weaned my older one just after she turned 2, so older than yours, but it was so easy and completely free of tears that I'd wished I'd done it at 18 months. And I was worried she wouldn't handle it because she was nursing every hour and a half till then. And it was still crazy easy. You won't know till you try.