What's the Difference?

[EchoSoul]

Our 3 week old son does this at least once every night; when he starts crying in hunger, I pick him up out of his cradle and nurse him. When he pulls away, or goes still and just stops suckling, I either change him & burp him, or just burp him, depending on the status of his diaper. Then I nurse him again, because he always nurses again after a diaper change, and usually nurses again after he's burped.

But...once every night, when I attempt to nurse him again after burping him, he'll purse his lips, and turn his head away, and sometimes even push my breast away with his hands. And I figure, "Okay, he's seriously done." And I put him down in his cradle. ...Annd the instant his body hits the cradle, he starts screaming again, so I put him to my breast, and he nurses until he's done for real.

So, um...what's he doing? What is it about the cradle that suddenly sends a message to his stomach that he's still hungry? And why is it he NEVER does it during the day? Or IS he hungry? Would he nurse if he wasn't, just as a comfort thing at 3 weeks old(he's been doing this since a 1 1/2 weeks old)? Maybe he wants an after-snack cuddle? Because I've never tried just cuddling him when he does that, I always just offer him my breast again. He's developing better Body Awareness, as I like to call it, since I've been practicing EC, and would do the same thing, screaming out after nursing, if I laid him down in his cradle after he soiled his diaper(to get another prefold which if I have a terrible habit of not preloading into the cover). But that hasn't been the issue lately, because now he poops during the first half of the feeding, and again sometime half an hour later(we're still juggling between disposables and cloth right now, so I can't tell when he poops again after nursing at night, because he's in a disposable then, and I'm already fast asleep).

Also, I wasn't sure if this belonged in the Breastfeeding board, or the Nighttime Parenting board, since I'm not exactly sure what this is connected to.

Edited by EchoSoul - 4/22/11 at 9:59am

[goldenwillow]

I cannot say of he is hungry again or not....  my gut says he just wants to be on your body.  You said he is 3 weeks?  I'd say he is longing for your warmth.  I wasn't able to put our DS down on his own until roughly 10 months. 

[EchoSoul]

Yup, 3 weeks as of yesterday. Wanting to be on my body would make sense, this last week he's been much more demanding of how much he's cuddled at night. In fact, just last night, while he was good for the first half of the night(slept 5 hours - 5 glorious hours..) when I put him down in his cradle after nursing him again, he wanted nothing to do with it. Just wanted to fall asleep being cuddled, and would fuss and fuss if I put him back in his cradle after he fell asleep on me.

[Marissamom]

I nurse even if it is for comfort. comfort nursing helps your supply, keeps your fertility at bay longer, and helps baby gain weight. that said, both my babies were/are very into cosleeping at that age, so he may just need to be close to you. 

[goldenwillow]

Originally Posted by Marissamom 

I nurse even if it is for comfort. comfort nursing helps your supply, keeps your fertility at bay longer, and helps baby gain weight. that said, both my babies were/are very into cosleeping at that age, so he may just need to be close to you. 

[EchoSoul]

Co-sleeping is a problem, as much as I want to. :/ And I know he'd sleep better. Thing is, my fiance and I both agreed, when I was pregnant, that co-sleeping was too risky. He's a dead-sleep sleeper, and I'm fond of my blankets being over me. We figured it wasn't for us. However, the day we brought our son home, and that night when I fell asleep with him on my chest, I realized that my instincts over-ruled the uncertain thoughts that had been put into my head when I was pregnant, and I could do it very safely. Unfortunately my fiance hasn't seen this yet, and I've hesitated to talk to him about it. Every time he sees I've "accidentally" fallen asleep with our son on my chest, he gently chides me for it. Perhaps not in our bed with us, but I'm thinking of putting him to sleep on something else besides his cradle tonight next to me, that allows him as much eyesight of me as possible, and see how that goes. Maybe that is, or is not the reason behind him crying out once a night when I put him in his cradle after nursing, but I know being in the cradle is the reason behind most of his fussing at night. I tell him, "Goodnight, Gavin. I love you. I'm right here besides you; let me know if you need anything." and I lay down, and when I lay down, I'm out of what little eyesight he has due to the walls of the cradle, and he starts fussing. Stops when I sit up again, continues when I lay back down.. And I can't sleep when he's fussing, because I'm the type of sleeper that needs consistent silence to sleep, so I don't get much sleep there either.

[Marissamom]

what about letting him fall asleep in your arms and then putting him down? my experience is that babies usually need help to fall asleep until they're older.

[EchoSoul]

Usually he falls asleep nursing - but those times when I put him down after he refuses to nurse anymore, and then he cries when he touches the cradle, he's always wide awake - gosh, I feel so silly now. That's gotta be the reason why.. I'll try that tonight, thanks! Instead of picking him up again and nursing him, I'll pick him up and hold him. Thanks, everyone. :)

[goldenwillow]

Your gut is intuitive.   You are not silly. 

Be kind to yourself and listen to what your gut is saying, as I believe you are...  but who am I? 

Lead the way and your fiance will follow. 

Relax and breathe.  You know your baby best and that is it. 

Embrace the time you have with your baby.  There is no time like the present. 

[treeoflife3]

yeah, he probably just doesn't want to be put down and since you offer the breast right away after he cries out for you again, he just goes ahead and nurses because its on you.  I'd try not setting him down at all after nursing, at least or a good while or nurse til he is sleeping :)

I found it really difficult myself to handle just how much contact newborns need.  I wasn't in a very healthy place but it DID help me to think about the 9 month rule... 9 months in, 9 months on.  Babies spend nine months inside mama knowing nothing but her so the theory is that it takes another nine months of just wanting to be as close to mama (or another loved caretaker) as possible for 9 months before they really start flexing their independence muscles and are happy to not be held/touched constantly.

My kiddo wouldn't comfort nurse though at that age.  She'd only nurse if she was hungry and it was really difficult to get her to sleep without nursing!  I ended up sleeping in a recliner with her on my chest for a couple weeks because it was literally the only way we could get enough sleep even though they say it is so unsafe (and I still wasn't getting enough as I just couldn't sleep sitting up.)  She wouldn't nurse and she wouldn't let me set her down and we couldn't make co sleeping laying in a bed work at all.

don't feel silly... those first babies can feel so complicated, especially in the first weeks when your body is still adjusting a ton.  What seems so obvious and common sense to others (or looking back later) feels like a completely different language while you're in it.

[EchoSoul]

Thanks everyone. :) I was going to try putting him next to our bed last night, but my fiance asked for that last night with him in the cradle as a safety precaution, because my fiance actually wound up getting sick. He didn't want to accidentally step on our son in his rush to the bathroom, which fortunately he didn't wind up getting sick again. Our son fussed all night(except for the first sleep-stretch, when my fiance and I talked to each other until our son fell asleep, soothed by our voices). So tonight I'm going to set him down next to our bed instead of in his cradle. Good thing is though, I talked to my fiance and he said as long as I think I can do it safely, he doesn't need to be in the cradle.

I've never heard of the "9 month in, 9 month out" rule! How interesting!