Only thrift stores for foster children

[christophersmom]

http://news.michiganradio.org/post/plan-would-require-foster-children-shop-clothing-thrift-stores?nopop=1

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Caswell says he wants to make sure that state money set aside to buy clothes for foster children and kids of the working poor  is actually used for that purpose.

He says they should get "gift cards" to be used only at Salvation Army, Goodwill or other thrift stores.

"I never had anything new," Caswell says. "I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at the Salvation Army, and his comment was -- and quite frankly it's true -- once you're out of the store and you walk down the street, nobody knows where you bought your clothes."

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Ridiculous!

[MeepyCat]

Totally ridiculous.  If you want to make sure that money is used as intended, require the parents to provide records.

I'm not in Michigan (I'm in Boston), but getting to a thrift store is a challenge for me.  Only one (very small one) is located within a safe walk of convenient public transportation (another is about seven miles from my house, but reachable only by bus lines with infrequent buses).  Their hours are such that I'd have to go on a weekend, when buses are less frequent - make that a two hour trip just to get to the store to buy my toddler clothes, and get back again.  The shopping center with Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Target and Old Navy in it is open until nine most nights, and there's a bus goes by every fifteen minutes, and that's not some kind of lucky coincidence:  when the shopping center went in, they petitioned the city for a change in bus service.  Goodwill doesn't do that.

(Also, I'm opposed to secondhand underwear.  Cheap = okay.  Someone else's rejects = ick.)

[Smithie]

I have no problem with buying clothes at thrift sources (and the lady in the linked article who suggested that it was offensive to the "dignity" of foster children to wear secondhand clothes has a seriously skewed notion of what "dignity" means and how adults are supposed to impart it to children!), but the issue of reasonable access to said stores is a huge one, as the PP pointed out. If Michigan wants to find out where its clothing dollars are going, then requiring receipts is the way to go. 

<rabblerabblerabble> DIGNITY. It's this season's hottest accessory, buy it brand-new at Wal-Mart today! 

[swd12422]

That is ridiculous. Clearly, he has never actually shopped for kids' clothes, b/c I buy DS all new from Kohl's, Wal-Mart (well, the grandparents go there) and Children's Place, and I spend less than what I'd pay for stuff at our second-hand stores. Besides, don't these kids deserve clothes of their own, if not a home and family of their own??

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by Smithie 

I have no problem with buying clothes at thrift sources (and the lady in the linked article who suggested that it was offensive to the "dignity" of foster children to wear secondhand clothes has a seriously skewed notion of what "dignity" means and how adults are supposed to impart it to children!), but the issue of reasonable access to said stores is a huge one, as the PP pointed out. If Michigan wants to find out where its clothing dollars are going, then requiring receipts is the way to go. 

<rabblerabblerabble> DIGNITY. It's this season's hottest accessory, buy it brand-new at Wal-Mart today! 

That's awesome 

[queenjane]

I do live in Michigan. Quite frankly for what they give you in clothing allowance, many parents probably HAVE to do alot of their shopping at thrift stores anyway.

But this guy is an idiot. If they want to ensure clothing is bought for the children, then agencies need to do a better job of tracking that money....some agencies require receipts (mine doesnt), or really, just LOOK at the child. If the worker is noticing the kid is in ratty clothing, then they need to investigate that.

Frankly, im worried less about clothes than other things. My foster daughter came to me with a ton of clothes (much bought by her bmom however)...but she came with almost NO toys. I think THAT should be a requirement, that you buy age appropriate toys for the child that will go with them when they move.

[heatherdeg]

I wore secondhand clothes entirely up until my teens except for new underwear and socks at Christmas until I was a teenager, but I really DO think that it's different for kids in foster care.  They are already in a completely humiliating situation (and yes, "humiliating" is definitely the word).  Why make them feel any more self-conscious?  Really?  They can't find a better way to do this?  Ugh... I buy at Salvation Army sometimes, but I only ever bought clothes for the kids there when they had to go to a week-long camp meant to keep siblings together and the instructions said to send clothes that could be lost or destroyed.  

And if they can't find some other way, plenty of states give vouchers at specific, inexpensive stores where new clothing can be bought.  Why not do that?

Agreed... second hand underwear?  Poor as we were, I at least got that every year.  

[sapphire_chan]

I still mostly wear thrift store clothes and I would buy new clothes for foster kids.

I will say that Once Upon a Child has an awesome selection even in the 3 to 11 year old range, but most thrift stores just don't have that much in good condition. Particularly not for things like jeans.

[philomom]

My kids wear mostly thrift store and only a tiny bit of new clothes. I see nothing wrong with using my family's money on other things BUT... the guy is up a tree to require this. Thrift store shopping can take twice a long as regular shopping because of sizing availability at your nearby stores.

[babygirlie]

commercial stores are cheaper than the salvation army. Sorry but he's a little lost.

[HeatherAtHome]

It is cheaper to buy clothes at a thrift store. We have one nearby where items are normally priced $1-3 each but one day a week they have a bag sale. Fill a clear plastic garbage bag for $6.50. It's a great deal if you have the time to go through the store with a fine tooth comb to find what you want/need. And to keep going back because you KNOW you won't find what you need in one trip. 

I tend to look at thrift shops first, for inexpensive finds (still loving my $8 pea coat!) and then fill in the rest with new clothes. Some thrift shops are better than others, and I say we do have a pretty good one..... but even still, a whole second hand wardrobe will often end up looking... patchy and worn. Yes you can find new items, great deals etc, but it's rare you can find a whole wardrobe's worth. Believe me, we only wore second hand clothes growing up and I was FAR from the best dressed kid. I would never do that to my own children. 

The idea that this guy in government would dare suggest such a thing is so repulsive on so many levels. 

[frugalmum]

If families have a good thrift store near them then this is a great idea.  The problem is a lot of areas don't have good thrift stores and often thrift stores have a poor selection for children.  I am all for frugality especially when it comes to taxpayer dollars but this should be a recommendation (maybe with incentives) as opposed to a requirement unless they can guarantee access to good thrift stores.  I live in a major city and there simply are not thrift stores with a large selection of children's clothes.  We have no choice but to buy new most of the time, though all my girls hand down clothes to each other.

[queenjane]

Another thing to consider if he is suggesting some kind of govt "voucher" to pay for these clothes. The thrift stores around here treat "voucher folk" unbelievably awful. My brother volunteered at a local St Vincent de Paul, and a couple came in with a voucher to get some furniture, tv, etc...so he started showing them all the tvs, giving the pros and cons of each. Keep in mind these are thrift store tvs, stuff people donated, old style, nothing fancy. The manager comes over and informs my brother that since its a voucher, they can only choose from this selection over here....the crappiest ones. They will save the nice ones to sell. My brother was so embarrassed. And then recently i was at another thrift store (Salvation Army i think but might have been St Vinnies again, not sure)...and there was this young couple with little kids, cart piled high with clothes that they had spent a long time picking out, trying to find just the right thing. I know how awful it can be to be shopping for a long time with kids. They got up to the counter, and the cashier said, oh no you have a voucher, we only accept these between 9 and 1. The man said, well we WERE here before 1, it just took a long time to shop. She said, well it says right there on the voucher, you have to first bring it to the counter and talk to someone. She was incredibly rude to them. So they said, well can we leave our stuff and pick it up tomorrow before one? She said, nope we dont hold items! It was awful. If i would have had the money, i would have just paid for their stuff, but this particular thrift store charges ALOT for items. I'm not going to pay four or five dollars for a used shirt when i can pay a bit more and get it new yknow?

Where does this man expect people to buy shoes? Underwear? etc...those arent usually good thrift store buys. I do alot of our shopping at Once Upon a Child, but the older a child gets, the harder it gets to buy used for them.

[Smithie]

"The manager comes over and informs my brother that since its a voucher, they can only choose from this selection over here....the crappiest ones. They will save the nice ones to sell."

[Polliwog]

NC doesn't have clothing stipends anymore (it's now part of our monthly  board payments. But although I donate a lot to our school district's thrift stores, I rarely shop there. They never have anything that looks usable for us. And since, 50% of DD's wardrobe is made of tulle, that's limiting. LOL. I shop mostly at Gymboree and GAP and get great deals (bought on big sale and with a coupon) and resell the kids clothes when they are outgrown. I will do the same for any future foster kids. I would never treat a foster child differently than I would treat my forever (adopted) children. You do not have to spend a lot to have your kids dressed nicely. The used clothes my kids do have are in excellent condition or they wouldn't wear them.

[Polliwog]

I will add that my daughter wore used training underwear when we were at that stage. It's no different than buying used cloth diapers and they looked like new.

[VocalMinority]

Good God, if the gov't is going to provide $ for foster kids' clothing, decide what is a reasonable amount per child, give them a restricted debit card (like states do, now, with food stamps) and let people decide on their own whether they want to buy a few new items or make their funds go further and check out consignment shops and thrift stores.  Or ThredUp!  Just like ANY family with kids and modest incomes must decide!  And, in cases where the kids are buying the clothes themselves, this is a great way to learn to manage it.  You buy the cool jeans?  Fine.  But now you have ONE new pair of jeans, whereas if you'd spent the same amount at Plato's Closet, you'd have 5; or if you'd spent the same amount at Goodwill, you might have a stuffed closet!

A wealthy friend of mine gave her teenage son a modest monthly budget, for clothes.  She could afford to buy him whatever he wanted, but she wanted to ease him into being able to provide for himself (without panicking about being poor), in those years after college when his income wouldn't be as high as his Dad's.  She HOPED he wouldn't blow it all on one or two designer items, but she didn't FORCE him not to.  She just explained that there wouldn't be any extra, just because he spent it carelessly.  When he discovered Thrifty Threads ON HIS OWN, she was proud of him, but more importantly he was proud of himself and LEARNED something...and had $ left over to buy brand-new underwear, without anyone telling him he could ONLY shop used...

[Polliwog]

A card isn't necessary. As I said, my state doesn't give clothing stipends any more, but when they did it was a check. I could shop in a store and spend the money, buy/sell/trade used clothes on line and spend the money, or whatever. As long as the children have clothes, it doesn't matter where they came from. Foster parents are being trusted with children's LIVES, they should be trusted to buy them what they need .Or have their licenses revoked.

[annettemarie]

Besides the whole "only thrift store clothing for foster kids" thing, there's also the " we don't trust foster parents to do the right thing and buy clothing with the clothing stipend" angle. This is insulting from lots of different viewpoints.

[hannahgrace]

We get about 1.25 a day per kiddo. Since mine are in diapers I am sure I spend that much a day on diapers. I dress my kids well....from hand me downs to thrift to Gymboree. I think the state should trust us to dress our kids well....and it wouldn't take much for a social worker to find the bad apple foster parents who don't spend the clothing stipend on their kids.