i know this didn't start out as a gender issue necessarily, but i would like to add some thoughts.
i have two daughters that have had long hair and dressed quite adrogynously. i am truly not a fan of pink, but also do not negate it to being a "girl" color. our culture does that. the girls have quite an array of things to wear, and though they mostly pick out all of their own things at this point, when they were younger (and still true in the case of my youngest), the majority of things they wore were gender-neutral.
about 70 percent of the time, someone would guess that they were boys because they were not wearing pink. i learned a lot about gender in our culture from the way that random person on the bus would talk to my little ones in one situation, thinking they were boys, and on another day, thinking they were girls. sometimes there would even be the girl/boy mistake. it is really eye opening. i mean, really, if dd happened to be wearing a dress, stranger's comment would be :
'aren't you a pretty little girl, blah blah," whereas if she was wearing blue and green and had her ball with her, the comment would be, "i bet you're a great ball player, huh little tiger? you helping out your mommy today, going to carry some of those groceries?"
i appreciated the diversity in the way they were treated. really, the gender types make me ill, and in my experience the quality of comments for a little boy were a littler smarter, not at all focused on looks or princess talk, and actually had some gravity to them. a little girl or little boy could be implored to help their mother with the groceries, or complemented on talents, or something in that arena. in my experience, those comments were given to my "little boys" 90 % of the time, while my "little girls" got comments about their appearance 90 % of the time. i realize that gender types hurt everyone, boys and girls alike.
i always felt thankful when someone mistook our gender.....and not because i wished i had little boys. i am pretty darn thankful for the creatures that came to me. :)