encouraging manners (i.e., 'hello and goodbye) with VERY shy (possibly selectively mute) 3 yr old - Page 2

[elmh23]

At 3, I would say the words for dd.  She was so painfully shy that if I'd asked her to say anything, she'd cry.  Now at 6, she'll say hello, good bye, thank you and please to people she doesn't know without prompting.  She's still really shy and says it quietly, but it's something.  Dh and I were also painfully shy has children, so we can both understand and know what it felt like if people pushed us (HORRIBLE!!!)  At 3, I don't think dd would talk to her grandfather at all and only say a little to her grandmother (and she sees them weekly!)  When she went to school at almost 5, she didn't talk to the teacher for the first 2 weeks, but made friends.  And within a month of being in school, she would talk to all her teachers, all the kids in the class and was always incredibly polite.  She just needed that time to growup a bit.

[One_Girl]

I just modeled friendliness and answered for my dd until she was ready to answer.  It was something that went away almost overnight when she was about 3 and a half.  She then developed an interest in other people besides me and has been a very outgoing child since then. 

[SpiderMum]

We don't "teach" manners. We use them and the kids pick it up naturally. I have never had to coax my daughter to be polite because she assumes that's the normal thing to do. Yes, sometimes DD is shy like her father, but she's gotten so she always says thank you, please, excuse me, I'm sorry, hello, and goodbye. Make a point to be polite yourself not only in FRONT of your child but TO your child and they will return the courtesy.