And now that we're all cozy here in Spirituality (a support only forum for those who haven't explored this section much)...
Dh and I were both raised Roman Catholic. In my case, I was raised VERY Roman Catholic. However, we were not married in the RC Church and found that as adults, and married adults planning a family, we really didn't find much common ground with the teachings of the RC Church. When dd1 was born we decided not to have her baptized and OMG, the uproar! It was more than we could stand, and we eventually gave in to my mother's insistance that dd1 be baptized. Although DH and I had no intention of raising dd1 in the RC faith as it was at that time we also felt like there was nothing in the ritual that would "hurt" dd1, there was the possibility that certain guidelines/teachings were changing that might encourage our return to the RC Church at a later date, and the ritual was very VERY important to several older relatives who were in very poor health. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But it didn't stop with the baptism... once she was baptized, the extended family started pushing for us to attend church, participate in other rituals, start planning/saving money for parochial schooling, and so on. Our attempt to make peace in the family by participating in the baptism ritual turned into a two year long tug-of-war over our dd1. And honestly, I can see the side of the extended family... DH and I made certain promises during the baptism and the extended family was trying to see those promises carried out. That they were pushing for the "word" of the promises while we were looking at the "spirit" of them wasn't the issue.
In addition, during those 2 years both DH and I found a religion we really resonate with and committed to raising our children in that faith. When dd2 arrived, the thought of having her batized into the RC Church was just completely impossible for us. Although it cost us a lot emotionally and even financially (my mother had been providing part time child care for dd1, she informed us that she would not provide care to dd2 unless dd2 was baptized and this loss of affordable/loving/in home care was one reason I became a SAHM, moved to a lower COL area, etc) we just couldn't see ourselves participating in a ritual promising to raise dd2 in a specific manner when we knew we wouldn't. And although there was that 6 months or so of really tough emotional/spiritual/social backlash, once it was over it was over.
With the birth of ds, no one even asked. It was a complete non-issue (though we do have relatives who have not spoken with us since dd2's birth, so some of the calm surrounding ds might be due to this). It's as if they got everything out of their system with dd2 and just don't want to know what we have decided. Which is fine by us! I'm assuming there will be a similar lack of asking and telling when dd3 is born this fall.
All this is a wordy way to say... I completely understand why you might decide to participate in a baptismal ritual for your child. But try to see it from the perspective of the people you are hoping to please. Are they the sort who will hold you to baptismal vows? Are you ok with relative sending your children religious gifts, or talking with them about a religion you may not agree with? And in your own heart, it sounds like you're not comfortable with making promises you don't intend to keep... maybe you and your partner could talk about what these promises might mean, what the impact of breaking them might be (you know, in terms of modeling right action to your older kiddos or something along those lines)? And also... would the Church you're considering even allow the baptism to take place? I know that many Churches require parents to attend classes or demonstrate that they are regular members of the Church community before they will baptize a child. It's a lot to think about and a lot to balance, and every family will find a different path through the tangle, but at least in my experience life got simpler after we made it clear to our extended family that we're not comfortable making promised we don't intend to keep.