I am 6 mo pregnant with my second child, and I find myself struggling with my Mexican husband's insensitivity. With my first pregnancy I was only with him for the first 6mo because he had to return to Mexico for immigration reasons and I stayed in the US to give birth. During those 6 months, he would leave me home alone every weekend to go out. He wouldn't come home until early morning (sometimes 5am!). Sometimes he would take the cell phone and our only car and leave me with no way to get help if something were to happen (we were kind of remote). With this pregnancy he is more committed as far as the marriage goes (no partying and leaving me) but.... As an American, I was exposed to a pop culture message of the husband doting on his pregnant wife. You know, the guy goes out and gets his wife pickles and ice cream at midnight? My husband doesn't even think to give me a massage when I mention my back hurts. He expects me to care for a rambunctious 15mo and keep the house clean and get him his hot homemade meals on time and manage the finances, etc. without offering me any extra support. When he does offer to do something (vacuum, for example), he has a subtle way of making me feel guilty and lazy. I don't get any extra rest or any coddling at all. I see how my friends' husbands treat them like princesses and I am so jealous! When I tell him I'm craving ice cream and we don't have any, he just rolls his eyes like he's annoyed. When I tried to talk to him about supporting me in labor, he told me I'd better behave because he wasn't going to let me yell at him or anything.
I don't want anyone to think my husband isn't a great guy, even if this kind of makes him seem like a jerk. He's just...well...Mexican. I know there are Mexican men out there who are liberal and sensitive, but my husband is from the old-school macho culture. He's WAY better than the other men in his family (one of his aunts has to get her husband dressed so he can go out and see his mistresses! She literally has to put on his socks!) and he never abuses me or cheats on me and actually tells me he loves me, so it's a good relationship mostly....I just wish I could be coddled a little bit once in a while.
Anybody else ever have issues with husbands from a male-dominant culture?