Move Pregnant, or Move With a Baby?

[primipara]

Hi, so I am hoping to get advice from the experienced mamas on this list...

DH and I live in NYC in a beautiful, spacious (for the area) 1BR loft apartment that we love, in a neighborhood we love, with lots of close friends that we love who are really nearby, including my closest mama friend. We purchased the apartment just last year and have lived here for 4 years total. I am planning a homebirth and love the idea of doing it in this place we love. I would definitely ask my mama friend to be there as I was there for her, living just around the corner.

I am planning on cosleeping/crib in our bedroom and figured with the size of our place, and based on what other friends have done, it would be realistic to stay here until baby is perhaps 10-11 months at most. But considering that we have to rent this place out as well as find a new apartment to rent, I can picture us feeling really pressured and stressed with a cruising little one and a bunch of clutter. 

So what do you think is MORE stressful: househunting and moving while pregnant, or househunting and moving with a new babe? 

[Vegan Princess]

I moved when DD was 3 months old. It wasn't horrible. She was little enough to still sleep a decent amount and stay put so we were able to pack. Probably would have been harder if she was newly mobile. But it wasn't stressful. We moved from an apartment in the middle of San Francisco out to one of the nearby cities that is more residential. We knew we were likely going to have to move by the time she was walking. We ended up doing it sooner bc I decided not to go back to work and we wanted something cheaper. But we did feel like we jumped the gun a bit by leaving the city. I say stay. Enjoy the place you love and being able to walk to all the things you love. You will SO appreciate that when you have a tiny baby you are walking around in the stroller. You can always move when you feel like you've outgrown the place. And you may be surprised how long that takes. I still look back fondly to the 3 months I spent browsing in stores and cruising the city while my baby was asleep in the stroller or while I wore her. I love where we are now, but it's just not quite the same.

PS: We just went through MAJOR househunting and bought a place (we rented when we first moved out of the city and the searching that time only took a day). We did our househunting when DD was about 18 months-2 yrs. It's doable. My advice is to find an agent that has kids and is willing to chase a baby while you and DH look. Thankfully we used an agent who I met through my mom's group and she has a kid the same age. She played with our DD a lot and just made it way less stressful than it would have been with certain agents.

Cindy

[Mommyofalmost6]

Moving is stressfull no matter what. I have done it at all sorts of stages in pregnancy and after. My first thought though is I would hold off on moving. Why move now? You may find that you can stay where you are longer then you think. Having more space isnt always a blessing ;) I would stay in the area and place you love with out the stress of moving. It will make for a better pregnancy, labor and birth for you in the end.

Just my 2 cents though :) Take it or leave it, no harm done!

[rah0315]

We're moving after I give birth, though we're military. DH will have already been at the new place (overseas no less) and hoping to come back for the birth. As soon as the new little one has his/her passport we'll be going over to Guam. We'll have to do our packout with the movers during this time as well. I'll have a 2 year old to throw into the mix too. 

We actually planned it this way so I could have a home birth. I figure it'll be difficult, but worth it. If I were you I'd birth where you feel more comfortable, you'll have a better experience that way. Moving with a 10 month old really won't be that bad, get a good carrier, throw them on your back and you're good to go. :)

[Mizelenius]

I prefer moving before the baby is born.  Logistically it is much easier, and then you are done . . .plus, there is something special about bringing home a baby to a home-- you will always have special memories.  It would be nice to be able to live in the same place as those memories for a long time.

[Azadehhast]

We're planning to move across the country (a 5 day drive, minimum) next spring, when babe is about 3 months. The plan is to do it with a Westfalia van, so we'll have a place to sleep and cook and have our cats too, to ship our household goods, and to take it slowly, no pressure, if it takes 3 weeks, no problem. Originally, we were going to move this fall, but we got pregnant too soon, and I don't think a trip like this with an 8-months-pregnant mama would be comfortable (or safe!) at all. So, fingers are crossed that our little one is still sleeping lots at this stage, and can handle a car seat for several hours each day! I remember camping as a family when my sister was a few months old, and it wasn't too bad. It'll probably be rough at times, with washing diapers in buckets and sleeping in our van-bed with baby and 2 cats, but...

My mother doesn't think it's too crazy. What do you mamas think?

[rustydaisies]

westfalias and families are synonymous!  we have a vanagon and are planning similar things seeing as we are both musicians who tour.  

[Caitlyn]

We asked our midwife this same question a couple years ago, her answer, "Why move? You don't need the space until they are nearly two." We coslept with our son in our 1bed apartment and it was totally fine even at 18months. We just bought a house and moved with him which was definitely... Exciting with a mobile munchkin. If you're set on moving in the near future I'd say do it while you're pregnant still, one less little person to keep after!

[Vegan Princess]

I say driving cross county will be fine - but go easy on yourself and use disposables for the 5 days instead of trying to wash diapers by hand and wait for them to dry. A few days in disposables never hurt anyone. 

Cindy

[LilMomma83]

Well, its probably going to be a lot easier now if this is your first...we moved after our second was born but it was in the same building lol and we already had a child in tow so he actually helped more than anything (he was only two, but, could rock the baby etc). Then, I think it is so great to be forced into action after having a baby - a big different between DS1 and DS2 and I was so much happier after DS2 was born and I think it had to do with getting out and being active more than anything...

[Mummoth]

SO was just telling me a story about traveling when his little brother was a baby... they put the jar of baby food on the engine and drove for a few minutes to warm it up :)

[primipara]

Thanks so much for all of your feedback! This is really helpful...I'm inspired by your cross country plans Azadehhast !

As of now we are leaning toward staying through the birth. What catalyzed all this is I heard of a friend giving up their big place with a backyard in another part of Brooklyn, but it turns out that the landlord is dishonest and there's ants in the kitchen...but I know if we keep our ears out and give it time, maybe another place will turn up that's perfect for us. Staying in the building would be a great option for us as well. Caitlyn--18 months, wow! That's impressive.

I also really appreciate what you said LilMomma83 about being "forced into action" after having the baby. We've been talking forever about moving to California for a stint and/or living overseas for awhile, and knowing that we have to move at some point may be the catalyst we need. 

Thanks again ladies! 

[Azadehhast]

Thanks from me too, for the affirmation that our cross-country move isn't totally nuts! What an adventure this mothering thing will be!