For those who undertand and use The Law of Attraction

[gumblossom]

I'm hoping that I can get some advice from others who have used the Law of Attraction.

I'm still learning about it and wonder if anyone has some practical advice on how to use it.

I am writing in a gratitude journal daily and I also did a "Treasure Map" this year.

I am trying to attract abundance into my life, but mainly I would really like to have another baby. My DH doesn't want to ttc, so I am wondering how to attract a change of heart on his part as well as attracting a baby.

So far my strategy is to stop talking to my DH about ttc and to just give him what I hope he will then give me - understanding, love and compassion. As for attracting a baby - I am saying positive "now" statements like : "I am having a healthy happy baby", "The whole family loves our new baby", "Our baby brings joy and love to all who meet her".

I have also bought baby clothes and other baby items.

I would love to hear of others experiences and how you practice the law of attraction.

I sometimes wonder if my desperation seeps through and is causing a problem.It's hard to be calm about it as I'm 44 and had a miscarriage in December and worry that it's not going to happen and that I'm running out of time.

Can't wait to hear from others.

[Linda on the move]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

I've been working with the LOA for about 4 years, and have used it to gradually change my life and the dynamic of my family. My very favorite book on the subject is Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The first half of the this book is basic info on LOA, and the content is h is available in many other places as well. It is the second half of this book that is the real gem. It has 22 different processes (or activities or exercises) that help you shift your vibration, and therefore your point of attraction. Some of them are journaling exercises.

We manifest things our feelings, not with our words, and since your fundemental feeling right now is desperation, you will continue to manifest more desperation until you figure out a way to shift that. In your situation, overwhelming sadness and grief are completely understandable. According to the book, rather than trying to move all the way up to joy, which is just a much bigger shift that you can realistically make, the goal is simply to move up very slightly on the emotional scale, but to make it a real shift. Rather than attempting to fake something that you don't really feel, move to a slightly more positive emotion that you really can feel.

I'm not sure which of the processes in the book would be most helpful for you, or I would type it up. I would recommend getting this book and reading through it to figure that out. (most large bookstores keep it in stock in the new age section).

The ironic thing about working with LOA in this way is that once we really clear our vibration, what ever it was that the thought we needed to be happy/have peace/be complete is less important, because we found the happiness/peace/completeness without it. I know that even entertaining that idea is threatening because you very deeply believe that you MUST have another baby to be happy and feel complete.

Sometimes I've manifested the *reason* for what I wanted without manifesting the thing I thought I needed to have that. For example, when I first started this, I was morbidly obese and got winded walking up a flight of stairs. I wanted to be slender and healthy, and one of the reasons I wanted that was so that I could enjoy shopping for clothes. (there were a bunch of other reasons as well). I manifested being able to enjoy shopping for clothes long before I lost all the weight I needed to. I didn't have to be as slender as I thought I needed to be in order to have that. (That was a stepping stone to where I wanted to be -- I'm now healthy, fit, curvy and a yoga teacher).

Sometimes I've manifest the core of what I really wanted, but in a very, very different form that I could have imagined it. For example, when I started this, we were homeschooling and I wanted some things to be different about that. A lot of stuff happened, and now my kids attend an AMAZING alternative school which has every thing for them that I wanted to be true about homeschooling but never was. At times, it was really painfully getting to this point because my belief about what I wanted was out of step with the best way for that to happen.

My advice would be to start by journaling about why you want a baby, what it is that you think a baby will give you.

Also, and this isn't really about LOA, I think that you and your DH are on very different waves lengths and aren't currently unable to hear each other. I'm wondering if marriage counseling to help you both process this loss and move forward would be helpful. You haven't shared anything about the actual story here, but I'm wondering if what happened was traumatic for both of you, but that you guys are processing in very different ways, and that difference is driving you further away from each other. I'm wondering if his need to keep you safe and your desire to have another child are such at odds, that without both of you really making peace with what happened and truly being able empathize with each other, the gulf will continue to deepen over time.  I think that a neutral professional could be very helpful.

Peace

[Kwan*Yin]

I think you should really focus on feeling gratitude for everything you already have in your life. Stop focusing on what you don't have (a baby). Once you can lift your vibration abundance can freely flow in. I think it is so easy to fall into the trap of really wanting something so much in our lives that we fail to realize that we have everything we already need. When I want to manifest something badly and it just isn't coming into my life I stop and analyze what it is that i'm not seeing. Usually I find that the universe may not have given me exactly what I was wanting but that some form of it was indeed in my life. Just not the way I wanted it. THe true gift of manifesting is to realize that our expectations blind us from seeing that we actually did manifest everything that we and our families needed. You have 5 children! You manifested 5 children into your life and your life is full of love and abundance and you should really be content with that and just maybe another soul will makes it's way in your life.

[Panserbjorne]

Originally Posted by Kwan*Yin 

I think you should really focus on feeling gratitude for everything you already have in your life. Stop focusing on what you don't have (a baby). Once you can lift your vibration abundance can freely flow in. I think it is so easy to fall into the trap of really wanting something so much in our lives that we fail to realize that we have everything we already need. When I want to manifest something badly and it just isn't coming into my life I stop and analyze what it is that i'm not seeing. Usually I find that the universe may not have given me exactly what I was wanting but that some form of it was indeed in my life. Just not the way I wanted it. THe true gift of manifesting is to realize that our expectations blind us from seeing that we actually did manifest everything that we and our families needed. You have 5 children! You manifested 5 children into your life and your life is full of love and abundance and you should really be content with that and just maybe another soul will makes it's way in your life.

great post.
 

[gumblossom]

Thank you for your responses. They are helpful.

Although I feel a genuine longing for a 6th child, it does not mean I don't appreciate and feel gratitude for the family I have. I do. I write in a gratitude journal daily, and I do love and appreciate my beautiful children. I realize it sounds like I'm being greedy, wanting another child, when I already have a large family.

It is hard to explain the reasons, but I have journaled the reasons and have been looking at the reasons "why" I feel this desire.There are many reasons, not all of them selfish.

It has been suggested to me that having a baby is driven by the grief of losing my last baby.I believe there is some truth in that, but the reasons for getting pregnant with that child have not changed.

I had hoped there might be some suggestions that would help me in a practical way. I will have to get the Hicks book.It has been suggested to me before. I have been reading the Secret and The Power and there is no mention of the universe might give me what I need rather than what I want. That makes sense to me, but I'm not sure it is part of the "law of attraction".

Linda, thank you for your long post, I appreciate it. Although my DH and I are not on the same page with this, we are actually very happy together. We've been together for 21 years. I know he worries how I will cope if I have another miscarriage, and of course worries about financial aspects of having a large family. But these are things we can work out. The reason I wanted to use the law of attraction to change his mind is because I don't want to keep bringing it up and discussing it. I feel the best approach now is to just let it go and wait and see. I'm sure it will come up again, and we'll cross that bridge when the time comes. Right now I just want to feel peaceful and see what happens.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by gumblossom 
Although I feel a genuine longing for a 6th child, it does not mean I don't appreciate and feel gratitude for the family I have. I do. I write in a gratitude journal daily, and I do love and appreciate my beautiful children. I realize it sounds like I'm being greedy, wanting another child, when I already have a large family.

My husband is the youngest of 7 children, and his mother was just a year younger than you when he was born. Far be it from me to tell some one else when they have *enough* children! 
From a LOA point of view, it is easier to manifest more of something that we already have. Enjoying what we have and desiring more of it, whatever "it" is, is a wonderful way to manifest. Feeling a sense of lack no matter how much we have, or feeling desperation, isn't. There is a fine line there, and in your first post, you sound like you are on the other side of that line.

I had hoped there might be some suggestions that would help me in a practical way. I will have to get the Hicks book.It has been suggested to me before. I have been reading the Secret and The Power and there is no mention of the universe might give me what I need rather than what I want. That makes sense to me, but I'm not sure it is part of the "law of attraction".

Although The Secret is what got me started on this path, I now see it as a bit simplistic.

Getting what you need rather than what you want isn't what I meant. I mean that it's possible for the essence of what you want to come to you in a completely different form than you now imagine.  For example, it's possible that someone in your extended family could have a child and be unable to care for it, and you could be asked to raised it through family foster care. It's possible that one of your older child's friends could end up in a neglectful home situation, and need a place to live and someone to play the role of their mother. It's possible that when one of your children get's married, they will marry someone who doesn't have parents, and thinks of you not as a mother in law, but truly as the mother they didn't have. There are limitless way for this to play out that don't require you having a baby. (My mother in law raised one more child after my husband, her niece whose mother died)

It's also possible for you to manifest a baby that your DH doesn't want, and that doesn't bring happiness to your family. People do that all that time. That's part of the reason that when working with the LOA, we work from a place of a joy and peace is because that way, our manifestations bring more joy and peace. Manifesting from a place a desperation and lack brings more desperation and lack, even when we get exactly what we thought we wanted. After all, every one is functioning under the LOA all the time, some people do so conscientiously, and some people do so unconscientiously.

I do believe that enjoying your children ever minute of today is the most powerful way for you to manifest another one, and I don't see how it is possible to be feeling desperation for ANYTHING while living in the moment.

Peace.

[rhianna813]

I also recommend books by the Hicks. In fact I recommend their audio books so you can hear their voices, which brings more depth and humour. I have seen The Secret and it is a good kick off film but is not very in depth.

I have used LOA consciously a couple of times with success. First was a few years ago when DH and I moved into together. This was before I heard of LOA. I wanted to manifest the most ideal rental house for us. All I did was draw a picture of a house with everything I wanted. The list was not small at all and included a fireplace, garage, garden space and close to a bus stop. Yup we found it. I did the same for a car and found one that fit my description.

More recently I had issues with my marriage and with my job, namely a disrespectful boss. I was feeling like a victim in both circumstances. My mind was wrought with negative thoughts daily for DH and for the boss. The negative thoughts were hurting only one person: me.

So I made the conscious choice to avoid negative thoughts about them. Whenever they would pop into my head, which was all.the.time; I would stop the chatter and replace it. I would use affirmations instead.

My relationships changed for the better. Specifically with my boss, I consciously decided to let go of a lot of fear I had with her. I decided her words were just words, not sticks and stones. Things really shifted when I did this. But as the relationship was improving an even better thing happened. My team was transferred out of her department and into a different one. Far far away…. The Universe really delivers! I now think I was hanging around that boss to actually learn an important lesson about letting go of fear.

I think the biggest aspects that worked for me were stopping the negative mind chatters. And letting go (as best I could) of some negative emotions. With my boss it was fear. With my husband it was anger.

Perhaps for you it might be letting go of loss.

Rhianna

[gumblossom]

Thankyou for sharing your experience Rhianna, I love hearing about the things that have been manifested for people.It's wonderful.

I think you may be right - letting go of loss. Phew!That's a really big one. It is really hard to let it go.I know that letting go doesn't mean letting go of the baby or my memories of it - all the same it hurts. But these last few days I have been letting go of the deep sadness, letting in light and looking on it in a more positive way. For some reason, I was meant to go through that awful ordeal, and I am accepting that.

I also think the Secret may be a bit simplistic (as Linda says, too) and have ordered "Ask and it is Given". Hopefully it will arrive soon.

Letting go of negative mind chatter will definitely help me - but my question is - how to do it? My mind is always so busy. I have tried meditation, but find it quite difficult.

Linda, I'm sorry how my earlier comments may have sounded -

My husband is the youngest of 7 children, and his mother was just a year younger than you when he was born. Far be it from me to tell some one else when they have *enough* children!

It was the other two posters who suggested that I might not have been practicing gratitude for the family I already have. I just happen to have this feeling I am supposed to have 6 children. And perhaps the 6th won't be manifested in the way I expected as you said. Maybe it will come some other way.

I do believe that enjoying your children ever minute of today is the most powerful way for you to manifest another one, and I don't see how it is possible to be feeling desperation for ANYTHING while living in the moment.

I know it sounds like if I am experiencing times of "desperation" that I can't enjoy my children.These  are moments and they relate to fear about getting pregnant. I suppose letting go of fear is one of the hardest things to do.

I will keep trying!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by gumblossom 

Letting go of negative mind chatter will definitely help me - but my question is - how to do it? My mind is always so busy. I have tried meditation, but find it quite difficult.

This has been a whole little side trip for me on working with LOA stuff. I often wonder it if is easier for others to learn. As Rhianna said, noticing it and making a decision to think about something else is helpful. Sometimes, watching uplifting clips on You Tube is helpful. There are TONS of them. This is a link to one that is Ester Hicks voice with pictures that some one else added.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgkHLFHp_1w&feature=related

I had a lot of very deep seated stuff to work through (I was neglected and abused as a child and had a great deal of mental clutter). I worked through a lot of material by Louise Hay to clear up my head.  She has some great stuff on You Tube too. This is the first of 10 sections of a movie called "You Can Heal Your Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxKUAjsxSk8&feature=related 

There is a second set of clips on You Tube that just Louise Hay talking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjntHE4LJCQ  These are really simply, and yet really powerful. They are really, really powerful. They are about LOA, but rather than focusing on *stuff* like some loa materials do, they focus on our relationship with ourselves. They talk about how our core beliefs play out in little ways, and small steps we can take to change those beliefs. 

Linda, I'm sorry how my earlier comments may have sounded -

It was the other two posters who suggested that I might not have been practicing gratitude for the family I already have. I just happen to have this feeling I am supposed to have 6 children. And perhaps the 6th won't be manifested in the way I expected as you said. Maybe it will come some other way.

I don't think you have any thing to apologize for.  There's nothing in LOW that says what we can and can't ask for, or what is supposed to be *enough* for us.

 I suppose letting go of fear is one of the hardest things to do.

I think that different things are most difficult for different people. For me, it is forgiveness.

Since you like stories about manifestations, I'll tell you a little about my kids' school. My older DD is twice exceptional, both gifted and on the autism spectrum. Homeschooling didn't really work for her, and public school was a nightmare. I wanted the perfect situation for her -- teachers who really knew how to reach her and someplace she felt very comfortable. A whole bunch of stuff happened, including my DH's work situation ending and him having to seek employment in a new city.

The new city had the perfect school for her. There's a green house and animal center, she makes pottery and takes yoga. They let her take a mix of classes at different levels, and there are just 6 kids in her math class.  It couldn't be a better fit if they had designed the place just for her. She started there in the fall, and she's like a whole different kid. She's happy, and she hadn't been happy in a long time. She's learning and thriving and trying new things. And since we found the school before we had actually moved her, we rented the house closest to the school so she has a 5 minute walk. The whole thing is pretty much prefect.  The thing I wanted most in the whole world was on the other side of the country, and I manifested the move here, complete with a stay in a 5 star resort while we waited on our household goods to arrive. Sometimes I feel like I conjured the whole school out of thin air because there was NOTHING like in our old city, which was a much larger city!

[rhianna813]

For the negative mind chatter, I was seeing a counselor at the time and she discussed it with me. Together we noticed how often I was doing it and actually prime times I might be chattering away LOL

Negative DH chatter was when I was doing housework, like washing dishes. It’s so easy to let your mind self talk while doing dishes! And when I was trying to fall asleep. For my boss it was pretty much whenever I was reminded of her existence: seeing her, reading emails or conversations with others.

So I just thought of some positive affirmations to say instead. For my DH things like: DH supports and respects me, We are on the same page, We communicate wonderfully, We are abundant and prosperous, DH honors and loves me. And I would visualize us smiling and talking to each other with no conflicts.

For the boss it was more things about me being a great employee, less things about her directly: I am appreciated for my work, I am a great employee just as I am, boss lady appreciates and respects me, we communicate freely and easily, I am rewarded for my work. And I would also visualize her being nice and respectful to me.

How? The second I catch myself thinking (words or images or replaying past incidence, what I would have “really said”) negative thoughts I would stop and say any of the above instead. It’s easy to think you are somehow downplaying what really happened to you or the injustice but it’s not. The negative blah blah blah is just a private bubble of hurt we inflict on ourselves.

Letting go of fear is my big one. The life’s work one. I guess what helps is to keep the focus on you, not the symbol of the fear or the loss. What feelings come up for YOU around loss. Have you experienced great loss before? How can you be strong and complete in the presence of loss?

Hugs to you!

Rhianna

PS: I also like Louise Hay. My MIL recently saw her speak on a Cruise which is cool. I am going to check out the videos Linda linked.

[SpiralChrissy]

I love this thread! I've read and watched The Secret and read some of the Hicks books. I too recommend them. I also like that guy, Jo Vitale, who was in the secret. I have a couple of his books and I also find them really accessible. I probably recommend the Hicks books first. I love all the exercises. They make it so easy to follow and take action. OH and I get the TUT emails every day from Mike Dooley. Love them. They help me plant myself in a limitless frame of mind.

I like the reminder here, that the feelings create, more so than the thoughts. I have my own desperation about wanting another child. I imagine that it can only lead to more desperation if I stay on that track. No wonder it's taking so long!!! The times when I did manifest, I was very open to the possibility of getting what I wanted. I didn't have desperation. I just asked and it was given just like the book said! I released my emotional attachment to it and it came. So yes, I see how I'm impeding my own progress with a 2nd child by being so attached and driven about it. Better to declare it to the Universe and believe it will happen and move forward!

I've manifested a few things so far. I few years ago I manifested weight loss. I decided that losing weight was easy. I declared that and I really moved forward from the premise. I took the struggle out of it and moved ahead. I lost 20+ lbs and it was easy!

I also manifested my Volvo. I'd been wanting to trade in my Mazda for a used Volvo for years but I wasn't doing anything about it. I didn't have the confidence to buy used on my own and my DH wasn't motivated to do anything about it. So, I kept right on driving that stupid car I didn't like anymore until I finally decided to manifest my Volvo. I told myself in Sept that I would have my green Volvo wagon by Halloween. Then I went about my life. I never said anything about manifesting it to DH but he did suddenly spring to action. We couldn't find anything and then decided to look at one more car and, wouldn't you know, that was it! I got my car 1 day before Halloween!!!

I've also manifested some $$, not much yet. I think that's because I still have some work to do on my own prosperity issues. But, I have manifested small bits of out of the blue money. After chanting and using the LOA, we got a check 2 days later for $300+ from our mortgage company. They'd reassessed our payment amounts and decided we should have a lower pymt and sent a check back for the last couple of months!! Completely out of the blue. 

So, I do know that it's possible. I'm going to explore this further by telling myself that conception is easy. And it is, right? Women do it all the time, thruout the ages. It's easy for me to get pregnant. I can also set a date that I'll be pregnant by, just like I did with the car. I'm think on that.

Anyway, Gumblossom, thanks for starting this thread and thanks to everyone who's chimed in. It's inspiring!!