I found this website today called My OB Said What? and Im TOTALLY cracking up... mostly at the stupid remarks of naive nurses and doctors but it also makes me reflect on the atrocities I've gone through in my own birthing experiences.
I remember delivering my 4th in a South Florida hospital that was one of my births from hell. After my OCD neurotic midwife induced me without my permission and then denied me an epidural when I went into Pit shock because, 'They will section you here", I finally pushed him out and then begged for pain relief since the Pitocin was still running through my veins. I hadnt even named him yet and I couldnt hold him I was so exhausted and in pain.
After passing out at around 8:40am and having the nurse wake me a bit later, bloody still from a full night of laboring and refusing to allow me to shower, she puts me in a wheelchair, piles my stuff on me and then wheels me out into the public halls into an elevator with strangers up to the postpartum floor to the shared room I was going to be in. The woman in there was watching Jerry Springer and every other sound was *beep!* Beep beep beep beep!*.
I crawled into bed, and just before I passed out again she sounded off these instructions on how to call them with number lines consisting of 5 numbers like... "...call 77465 to get the nursery...".
I woke back up at 2pm not knowing where anyone was where my baby was, nothing. My husband had to go home to be with our other 3 whom a complete stranger was watching because we had only been living there for 30 days and didnt know anyone.
So I pressed the little button on my bed to call the nurse and the conversation went like this:
ME: "Hi *clears throat*... wh... where's my baby?"
NURSE: *pause* "...Who IS this???"
ME: "Im ...the mom... I don't know where my baby is..."
NURSE: " I already TOLD YOU that you had to dial *sounds off a set of numbers* and that once you get your baby we dont take em back, they stay wit you the rest of the time."
ME: "Im sorry, I've just had a very painful and long hard labor and Im very medicated, I cant see the whiteboard can someone please just tell me how I find my baby?"
NURSE: "Dial such and such number, but again we wont take them back after we bring them to you."
ME: "Ok, I've been 'warned' thank you..."
*dial the nursery on my phone and nurse answers*
ME: "Hi, I am looking for my baby?"
NURSE: "....WHO IS this???" (with the same annoyed attitude the other nurse had)
ME: "Im the mother?"
NURSE: "What's the baby's name... but once we bring them you are stuck with them. You dont send em back."
(by this time Im ready to cry)
ME: "I ... havent even named him yet... *sniff*... my name is Jyn, please Im just trying to find him."
NURSE: "Ok... hold on......... ok... ohhhhh... you're the fever-baby-mama .... we need to keep him a little longer cuz he gotz a fever."
ME: "The what....?"
So apparently the L&D nurse attending to my birth put him on such a hot incubator that he had a fever of 101. My husband still jokes that she was only there for the BBQ (she was a Jamacain woman with wrapped hair half a mile long and just meandered around when the midwife was calling for smelling salts and the such as I started hyperventilating... she probably knew my midwife was a joke and was just checked-out.)
The rest of my stay was just as bad if not worse. I was SO HAPPY to be leaving that hospital. I vowed never to have a baby in a Florida hospital again!
But hearing some of the things said to other moms! Man, sometimes....