Checking how far dilated you are

[elimbert]

Hi there- this is my fourth pregnancy, i am 38 n half weeks pregnant and getting really fed up now, i hate it as i am having my first little girl and wanting to see her so badly, anyways i have been having a lot of pains in my pelvic area, its my baby pushing down getting her head fully enganged so i have been told, this hurts alot and i am grasping for air but they cant do nothing for me, so i wanted to see weather i was dilating and weather being able to do that would it tell me anything, i read up alot of information that other mum to be had experienced and then tried my self, at first i found it very hard to chec (i dont think i was relaxed enough) , so i took a deep breath and tried again this time it worked, i found my cervix eventually this took a while and kind of hurted abit so i stopped but what i felt was my walls inside feeling very soft, 1 does this mean that my cervix is ripe, and 2 when i felt my cervix i read it feels like lips just about to kiss someone, i felt that but it was closed i read that its feels like a donut (in which you can push your fingers through it, however i could not do this, so does this say to you that i am not dilating at all, my my cervix is still high or not i am very confused, can anyone help me .

Please note that with my other children, the first i had to be induced, 2nd my waters broke but still had to be put onto a drip and the thrid had extra water so my cervix thought i was more than i was he was only 4 days late, but due to bordom and love making with the other half, my waters broke later that day, but i still had to put on a drip to enehance the contractions to help my cervix widen up, so i am wondering weather this is just me and my body, will i always need help on contracting lol

[amberbirthdoula]

Hi there, 

From what I know when your cervix is getting ready for labor it should be softening up and feel like lips (just as you described) however I wouldn't be discouraged be your previous experiences.  Each birth is different, trust your body and hopefully you will dilate well and have a great birth! Remember that time is your friend :)

Best of luck!

[Amatullah0]

to MDC!

Honestly, you should really post this in birth and beyond, and you'll probably get more answers there too. But, some basics are:

1. Every labor is different. 

2. Most labors are not "textbook"-- You might not start dilating before you are having contractions, and you might not even dilate at all until 30 min before baby comes. You also might start dilating a few days or even weeks before labor sets in. It honestly doesn't mean anything, especially at this point in your pregnancy.  

3. Don't do anything that hurts. Don't force your fingers into your cervix(OW!). Not that it will harm you or your baby, but it's just not necessary.

4. The vaginal walls are always soft. It's the cervix that softens and opens in/around labor. 

5. Unless there's more to your story, I doubt you ever needed any help laboring. If you would have let your body do it's job, it would have. There's usually no medical need for an induction or augmentation of labor if baby or mama aren't in distress.

6. And relax! You wont go into labor if you're stressed out. You can start worrying about baby still not being here when you are 43 wks or if you notice a lack of movement. 

But, for real, do a search in the main birth and beyond and pregnancy forums for information about this kind of stuff. I learned most of what I know from these forums(for real! its a real wealth of information!)