Thanks for your response. I know that the bonding time is going to be important. Last time, I felt that I should have been able to trust the people from the church bringing in food. I felt that I should have been able to trust the family coming to help. They all caused a lot of trauma that I am reliving 5 years later as we wait for this baby. It's been an issue the whole pregnancy. It's part of the reason (but not most of it) that we waited so long to have another.
MIL came and sat on her rear and didn't budge from our kitchen table the whole week while dh insisted that he couldn't help me with anything as he was working a full time job and managing our three year old and every single house hold chore. The woman wouldn't even hold the baby when I asked.
People from the church came to bring food and walked up and down our halls in every room. The house was cleaned thoroughly before babe was born and the midwives did a great job with clean up but I honestly think they expected to see a huge bloody mess somewhere (this happened the DAY the baby was born).
They would look at our new baby for the first time and very pointedly tell us how beautiful our first daughter was (and not that she isn't/wasn't but I just found it rude since I'd just worked so hard to birth the youngest one).
The worst was when a lady at church who'd lost a baby late in pregnancy with the same due date asked to hold her. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her hold her when she asked and wouldn't have let anyone else. The woman took the baby at a week old and held her under every runny nosed baby in the church.
I was accused of being an inadequate mother because I was moving slow due to birth injury and told my dh that he needed to be chasing down our 3 year old. They knew we had the baby at home and I think that they seemed think that I got "what I deserved".
For a long time due to some of these people, I truly felt I was a bad mother. I wasn't a bad mother. I truly feel they contributed a lot to the post partum depression/anxiety that I suffered last time (did not leave the house by myself with both kids until baby was 18 months old because I felt inadequate). These people were just really rude :( So I don't think two weeks will be long enough. I want enough time to be confident in my skills as a mother before I am around others who will destroy my self esteem.
We no longer attend that church or even have the same friends we had five years ago but I'm terrified people will be the same way again so I don't think that two weeks will be enough and at this point I don't trust anyone to come in (especially MIL) . My best friend lives 3 hours away and since she has asked, I might let her come before the month is out to stay for a while towards the end but that's about it.