Who wanted to Circumcise? Mom, Dad? Please read OP before voting

[MamaAllNatural]

If you did circumcise, please mark who wanted to circ (mother/father or both).
If you did not circumcise but one parent wanted to please indicate who it was that wanted to.
If neither of you wanted to mark "neither."

*ETA: Even if you ended up "converting" your SO, please mark Father/Mother etc. I want to know who initially wanted to do it, even if they had a change of heart by the time of the birth.

Thanks, morbid curiosity (as always)

[steffanie3]

I voted neither. DH probably would have if I hadn't researched it. His family did it and he probably wouldn't have questioned it. We didn't after he heard what happens and the actual amount of skin taken, he didn't want to. His firm commitment and what make me so sad was seeing my nephew the day of and the following weeks. It really made me sick and I watch him for her so everytime I change him I see his wound again. DH would not support it now at all.

Stephanie

[MamaAllNatural]

I'm so sorry! I completely forgot to write what my response was!: My husband was circumcised and wanted to do it to our baby. I had already decided to never do it before we were ever married so there was no way I was going to let it happen. I was able to "convert" him by the time the baby was born which was nice though. So, by then he was supportive and glad we didn't do it. He's happy to have to intact sons and wishes he hadn't been circumcised.

BTW, I marked "Father" since it was dh who wanted to do it in the beginning.

[DesireeH]

I voted father.........if he was married to a mainstream person and she wanted to, he wouldnt have questioned at all. LOL BUT, he picked me, hippie mama :P ....and I would have to be run over by a truck before letting any child of mine be harmed, especially without reason! Also after I showed him the video I asked him if he would still like to do that and he said "No way" and after he was born he has expressed that he is glad we didnt do that to him!

[Linda in OZ]

I voted neither, when our first was on his way I knew that I would not be circing, but wasn't sure how dh felt and actually got myself all worked up over the confrontation we were going to have because I was so sure he would want to circ. But he was in total agreeance with me.

[Mom2Anne&Tom]

Our beautiful DS is intact, but DH wanted to circ. Happily, I researched and quickly concluded that I would never allow it. He asked a few questions (focusing on the locker room) which I answered. I found out in the process that the circ rate is very high where we live (western suburbs of Philadelphia).:

He generally doesn't want to discuss this topic (I believe it's a form of self-defense because he is circed.) I asked him a few weeks ago what he would tell DS if he ever asked about being intact. DH said "I would tell him his mother didn't want to do it".

[Mommiska]

I voted 'neither'. My dh is intact, so he knows exactly what is lost in a circumcision, and there was no way in H*** he'd ever do that to any child of his.

Ditto for me, since I get to have sex with dh, and I also know (second hand, but still!) what would be missing...

Not to mention the fact that I would claw the eyes out of anyone who wanted to hurt my little boy like that.

[MamaAllNatural]

Originally posted by Mommiska
Ditto for me, since I get to have sex with dh, and I also know (second hand, but still!) what would be missing...

:LOL Great point to make Mamiska! I wish more people would realize the importance (or at least the existence) of this aspect.

I also agree with what you said about fighting anyone who tries to hurt your baby. I hope I don't terribly offend anyone by saying this but I really wish moms who didn't want to do it and knew how truly wrong it is wouldn't let themselves be pressured into letting it happen by their dh. I realize there are some really controlling and abusive men etc. but I knew, whether my dh wanted it or not (which he did at first) I would never let anyone hurt my baby.

[Irishmommy]

Neither. I brought up the subject when we were dating. I think he would have left me if I had been pro-circ. I already had left a relationship because the ex insisted any boys we had would be circed.

Dh is not circed.

[mattemma04]

//

[bwylde]

DH wanted to "because all boys are" and "he wants him to look the same" : (I mean, do men seriously run around comparing their penis to others?) but I made sure we never got around to it and it became a non-issue

[lizzie]

I voted dh because he, too, wouldn't have questioned it if he'd been married to a less edgy-cated mama. His parents think I'm just a little out there, but God bless them, they seem to really love me. I don't know if they (IL's) know ds is intact or not. But dh is, and I'm sure it was just because that's what you did in the 60's in Philly. I would really like to know (stangely enough) whether or not FIL is intact. His father came here from Ireland (I think in the early 1900's) and was dirt poor... FIL is one of eight, (the youngest) and I think they were all boys, maybe one girl. I think FIL would have totally bought into the idea that 'well-to-do' families circ'ed though. He very much wants to leave his familial origins behind him.

All that aside.. I'm *thrilled* to report that dh is staunchly behind the intact side of the house now. He's quite pleased that ds is just as God designed him to be.

Lizzie

[Wendi]

I voted neither because I'm a single mom. Max's father left when I was 20 weeks pregnant, I have no idea what his opinion would've been, but it wouldn't have mattered because there's no way I would've done it!!!

[Mom2Cora]

DH originally wanted to circ any and all sons we should have. Our first was a girl so it wasnt an issue. But we're pregnant again and I pushed the no-circ issue early. It only took him reading some of the info I had found to convinve him not to want to circ.

[boingo82]

I picked father, though I wouldn't say DH wanted to, just assumed we would and didn't see any reason not to. Fortunately it didn't take much learning before he decided that wouldn't be happening to any baby of his.
It's funny b/c no one has ever asked me if we're circing, but lots of DH's friends have asked him. He always tells them...no medical reason, no he doesn't care if they don't "match", painful for baby, etc. He told the same thing to his mom when she asked and she just said "oh, that's just what everyone did when you were born" which is true inasmuch as he was born in 1980, the peak year for circs. So there hasn't been any pressure from the MIL/FIL either.

[A&A]

Neither of us.

[sadean]

I voted father, but only because if he had married someone different/not like me and had a son, they probably would have been circ'ed. When I broached the subject with him 10 years ago, when I was pregant with ds#1, he asked 'Why not?" (to the "we are not going to circ this baby" statment I made). I was not particularly educated, but I must have come up with something like, 'It is SO not neccessary". And he shrugged and said "O.k." and left it at that.

In later years he interpreted that conversation as a "discussion" and joint decision, but there was never any question in my mind that our baby would remain intact :LOL

[UrbanPlanter]

neither
dh is intact