moving advice - best time for kids?

[alison77]

Anyone with any experience please chime in - we are moving soon.  DH is leaving in 2 weeks for the other side of the country to start a new job.  I initially thought that I should stay where we are with kids (2 DSes, ages 5 and 7), until school is out then move with them.  This was the plan b/c one DS is fairly anxious, and I wanted him to have closure with school, etc.  Now I'm questioning whether it will be harder without dad versus leaving school a few weeks early (like 3).  I don't have to stay around for anything else, and am excited to get out there myself and of course be with DH, so I kind of like the idea of going earlier, but want to make the right decision.  Anyone been through this and have any advice???  Thanks!

[Imagining]

I can tell you what I'd do based on our own current moving limbo.  We have our house on the market and will be moving four hours away by the end of summer.  DS (5 this summer) knows we're moving.  We'd originally planned to finish out the school year for him to have closure, but at this point it feels like it would be better all around to just move and get settled into our new surroundings.  It's almost harder for all of us to still be in our current house, town, etc. knowing that it's only a matter of time before we'll be transplanted.  In your situation, I'd make the move.  My DS can be anxious too, and I think it'd be more unsettling for him to have DH gone for that long than it would be to end school a bit earlier.  But then again, my DH is a stay home dad!  Good luck.  I'm sure it will work out whichever way you choose.

[alison77]

Thanks for your response - I just keep going back and forth, but ultimately I think that the less transition time the better, for all of us really.  I feel like I should go into my older DS's school and talk with teacher/admin about this too - I have no idea about how much school he can miss and still be passed along to the next grade, and that should probably factor in. 

Our movers came today - we live with family so the house is still furnished, but it's already feeling very funny being there with as little of our stuff as possible.  I had also initially planned on driving out, thinking what a great opportunity this would be for kids, but am reconsidering it because whatever driving time we do seems again to be that time where we are in transition and not feeling settled. 

Continuing to think on this.

Funny - I'm in Seacoast NH, too!

[FarmerBeth]

We found moving during a school year helped as the other kids already at the school made themselves especially available to meet the"new kids" and really took them under their wing in a way that they may not have if our kids had been lost in the school year shuffle.  And I think having the stability of both parents present during a change may count for more than the stability of finishing a school year.

[alison77]

Thanks, FarmerBeth.  In our particular experience we would not be putting them into school once we move until the next school year anyway because there would only be about 3 weeks left, and we wouldn't be guaranteed that they will be in the same school next fall if we did that anyway which I thought was not really positive. 

I am glad to hear that you found the kids to be very receptive - I can't help  but be a little worried about the transition for my guys. 

[Tjej]

It can be really nice for them to meet neighborhood kids that last bit of school - so you could enroll them in whatever is local and then just go with what you really end up doing next year.  Think of it as a few week play camp with local kids.  Great chance to get to know people for your kids.  If the school would let you.

Tjej

[beebalmmama]

I think the time off from school is going to be the biggest factor, so I would definitely check into that first.

Originally Posted by alison77 

Thanks for your response - I just keep going back and forth, but ultimately I think that the less transition time the better, for all of us really.  I feel like I should go into my older DS's school and talk with teacher/admin about this too - I have no idea about how much school he can miss and still be passed along to the next grade, and that should probably factor in. 

Our movers came today - we live with family so the house is still furnished, but it's already feeling very funny being there with as little of our stuff as possible.  I had also initially planned on driving out, thinking what a great opportunity this would be for kids, but am reconsidering it because whatever driving time we do seems again to be that time where we are in transition and not feeling settled. 

Continuing to think on this.

Funny - I'm in Seacoast NH, too!