sleep issues/returning to work; need other mama's advice please!!!

[MaybeSparrowMaybe]

my dd (my 1st baby) just turned 12 months! i am dreadfully and unfortunately returning to work full time to my job as a child protection worker on May 24. i have no choice and need to return for a variety of reasons. DD has slept in our bed sine she was born, we don't own a crib. we do have a futon in her 'room' but she always sleeps in ours.

'usually' (and i say that very loosely) around 630-7 pm i nurse her laying down in bed, when she is sleeping i unlatch her or she 'un latches' herself then i slowly and quickly leave the room. sometimes this takes 15 minutes to an hour

most of the time she will wake up once or twice within the next hour and half, to which i lay down again and nurse and repeat.

then she sometimes goes 3 hours sleeping straight. when i go to bed around 11-12 she usually wakes and we repeat nursing laying down again. then if im lucky, she will go another 3 or 4 hours straight sleeping. then she will nurse on and off until 830-9 am, and then goes on the potty, sometimes i take a shower while she potties, and then we eat breakfast and go about our day, during breakfast she yawns sometimes.

she doesnt nurse that much in the day time,.

usually around 10-11 i try to take her for a walk, or i wear her on my back and i hope she falls asleep, if im lucky she will... she doesnt sleep that long, an hour at MOST, but usually its 30-45 minutes. sometimes in the daytime i will nurse her in ou rbed to try to get her to nap, but i usually can never leave and end up nursing 2 hours

in the afternoon she usually gets tired again, around 2-3 so i try to somehow get her to sleep.

its getting really difficult, even though she is a happy cucumber, and easy going, i KNOW at night she is so tired, and lately i try and try to get her to sleep, sometimes she doesnt even want to nurse, so my DH tries to rock her and can get her to sleep sometimes.

i have a lot of anxiety about going to work, even though she will be going to my friends place 4/5 days and dh is home around 1-3 pm to pick her up. ill be gone from her from 8-5, i wont be pumping, because i never have and i imagine i will pump at work until my breasts adjust to not nursing in the daytime, im *hoping* she will be fine without me (read: nursing!) in the daytime, my care provider will have plenty of food and can even make smoothies if need be.

i am anxious, because im not sure how i will function at my high stress job with little sleep, now its ok i can function because we stay in bed so late in the morning... so im wondering if i should night wean... ?? im also worried as i dont want to interrupt her life too much because me being away will be already hard on her so i def. dont want to night wean her too,.

any others out there who can lend some helpful happy advice on something i could be doing differently?

we tried a whole 'schedule' thing but since she is so easy going and goes everywhere with us, (we've never had a 'sitter') sometimes (esepcially with this later light days) we eat dinner later, or are out later.

for example; tonight after easter dinner at my sisters she fell asleep in the car on the way home, and was REALLY out of it even stayed sleeping when i got her out into the house, and lucky me i put her in bed and she slept.

for TWENTY minutes!!!!! ugh. so then we put on her night diaper, and pj's while she cried, and then i tried nursing and rocking and patting and talking while she 'sang' and chatted for 2 hours. then my dh went up and rocked her another hour and she fell asleep.

SIGH.

thanks ans really sorry this is so so long :-( i really am thankful for any responses

[D_McG]

Well, if you're day weaning and then looking to nightwean, too then I guess you might end up weaning overall? Personally I would nightwean because I couldn't deal with that kind of unrest but I guess it depends on how important continuing the nursing relationship is to you....

Actually I'd probably wing it and hope that the more regular daytime schedule (probably more food, etc) helps with sleep and then nightwean only if things continued to be as bad as they are.

[mammamo]

Your daughter sounds like my first. I was up and gazillion times during the night and working 3 12 hr shifts a week. Your body gets used to it, I guess, IDK, I just remember being exhausted