YOU GUYS!!!! oh my... oh my. this is happening. I can't believe it!!!!! This has been the craziest week.
Monday: 11 DPO, started spotting. wondered what that meant. I always spot 2-3 days before I menstruate. This felt very much like getting my period, and it was exactly 3 days before my period was due.
Tuesday: 12 DPO, more spotting, with added crampiness.
Wednesday: 13 DPO more spotting,, early AM I took a pregnancy test, it was negative, confirming what I already was fairly sure of . Then I went for a four mile intense run. I ran really fast and hard for some reason. And when I came home, I felt this amazing runner's high that somehow manifested itself in... anger? frustration? The run was really cathartic. I picked a stupid fight with DH and immediately burst into tears. I sobbed for like an hour straight!! I had NO IDEA this would affect me so much. I mean, I don't even like kids! I think it just hit me hard how much pressure I'd put on myself for this to work out right away.
However, I think the combination of the running and the crying really helped. By mid-day, I already felt OK about it. I started to mentally plan for the next cycle. And after our fight/crying session, DH and I made a pact to not talk about fertility stuff for a week to just take some of the pressure off and so we could regroup as a couple.
Then later that evening I had a weekly potluck with my girlfriends. They all know I'm TTC, so I told them all "hey guys! I'm getting my period... I'm sad but at least I can get drunk tonight!" So I had 3 really stiff alcoholic beverages and got silly. It was a great evening. I began to feel so, so much better about not being pregnant for the time being.
Thursday: 14 DPO the spotting slowed down. This is around my when I usually get my period, and was officially day 28 of my cycle. I had a busy day and didn't think twice about it. By this time I felt OK about not being pregnant.
Friday: 15 DPO, In the morning I woke up and suddenly realized: I still hadn't officially started my period, which was somewhat unusual. I opened my mouth to mention that fact to DH, but then remembered our pact. Whatever, I didn't want to obsess over it. Period would come today.
All day I had back to back important meetings at work, keeping my mind occupied. But about noon I still hadn't started menstruating so I decided to stop drinking water and stop peeing and concentrate my pee for a HPT.
Usually DH and I talk about everything throughout the day, but because of our pact I decided to just keep this to myself. I figured the test would be negative anyway so I decided not to tell him about my suspicions. This baby is something he really wants badly so I didn't want to get his hopes up.
I peed on a stick. I looked at it- no line. Got ready to throw it away, but hesitated. Looked at it again.
Was that a line?
I thought there was maybe a line, but it was so, so so so so faint.
I dug my old one out of the trash, the one from Wednesday, and looked at them side by side. I even took a picture so I could text it to my friend. She looked at the picture and thought there was a significant enough difference between the two to take seriously.
DH came home from work and I handed him the two tests. He had the same reaction I did... He was like "huh? They're both negative. Why are you handing me this? *squints" Oh, WAIT A MINUTE."
We did a detour on our date night to stop by target and get a digital test, the kind that say "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT" since I was making myself crazy with those F-ing lines.
We went to dinner and didn't really talk about it, per our pact. We still had no solid information to go on and didn't want to drive ourselves crazy. We split an entree and I had a few sips of his fancy cocktail. We saw the new X-Men movie and I wholly absorbed myself in it, not really distracted at all.
5 am I woke up and took the test.
It said "PREGNANT".
1) should I be worried about the 3 cocktails I had on Wednesday night??? I've been so good otherwise! I'm mad at myself- I was just so totally sure I got my period.
2) How do I know which DDC to join, or what my due date is? I can't make a doc appt yet because it's Saturday. An online due date calculator says Feb 10 is my due date, are those accurate?