Who pays for visitation transportation?

[prettyface0118]

I earn more money than my ex-husband and when we divorced I pay for 60% of the cost to care for the children and he pays 40% not to mention a discount for getting the children every weekend.  My employer is closing down my office with an option to follow the job out of state.  There are no lateral positions in the city and I would have to be placed in a pool for a downgrade and then the jobs are offered in seniority order.  Chances are that I would have to take my severance.  I am also ordered to pay for medical support since my insurance is better.  I currently live in Missouri but I would be moved to Texas.  Our son is hearing impaired with a cochlear implant.  I am being told there are more activity programs available in Texas for deaf/hh children as well.  My ex-husband has no problem with me taking the kids out of state, however he refuses to cooperate because he doesn't want to have to pay for half of the air fare for bi-monthly visitation.  I feel since he already gets a reduction in child support and he won't be getting the children as often, he should have to pay for half of the transortation.  Can anyone help with some advice?

[NolaRiordan]

I think you need to consult a lawyer on this one. My understanding is that normally the person that moves is responsible for transportation. In a case like this when you are being transferred and not really moving voluntarily I imagine a judge might order costs be split 50-50. Although honestly this may be one of those times when you come out ahead just paying it rather than fighting in court. Don't know. Again, hopefully you can find a good attorney to ask.

[SoulCakes]

If this went to court it would be difficult for you to get the 50/50 transportation split that you want. I moved a continent away from my ex and pay almost all travel costs (the exception is if he wants to come here for a non-typical visit, then he would have to pay). Your ex is not asking for the move, and it's possible, depending on your divorce and custody agreement, that he could even keep you from moving if he wanted to. 

On the other hand, he'll probably be getting less visitation, which may well mean that his discount in child support would be cancelled out. Long-distance moves usually require updating all of these child support factors, not just one.

Good luck! Texas isn't too far from Missouri, so hopefully flights will be cheap.

[lilyka]

I talked to my lawyer about moving to Texas and she said I would most likely be ordered to pay 100% of the travel expenses (three kids flown back here at least 4 times a year.  In the neighborhood of $2500 a trip.  That would totally defeat the purpose of me moving back to texas.

[bananabee]

What if you offered to pay for your ex to fly out to TX and let him have the house & kids for however long his time w/them is supposed to be? Maybe you could have some mini vacations. Then the kids don't have to pack, they get to be w/dad in their own home, and you save a bundle.

[lilyka]

that wouldn't be enough control for him.....and he is entitled to have them dropped off at his door therefore he will stand in that entitlement.  He could fly to them for free.  He has more frequent flier miles than he can count.  BUT, if the courts say I am responsible then goshdarnit I am going to be responsible.  Besides he whines about providing most of the transportation now.  He only lives a mile and a half away and they are visiting him, you think he would cherish the car time. it ads 20 minutes to his visits.

The only thing I have going for me in TX is family, friends and a free crappy mobile home on some glorious land. And thats if she let me live there for free.   And after a year or so I could go to UNT as a resident.  (What I should have done 17 years ago instead of running off to SD with a boy).  Barely worth going to court for permission.

[hillymum]

Sbx complains about him being court ordered to be responsible for pick up and collection as well, and he only moved 24 miles away. He's actually using it as an excuse to alter visitation days and times.  He put it so nicely lol..."This cuts down on the driving and wasted time I spend collecting and returning the boys since you will not share this responsibility with me."  Didn't I marry a real winner, or is he a whinner???

[Goodmom2008]

Since your ex doesn't have an issue with you moving the kids out of state, that is one battle you don't have to do.

One thing you need to realize is that he isn't getting a reduction in child support.  What he is getting is credit for his parenting time, for the expenses he incurs when he has the kids.  He's paying exactly what he is supposed to based on both your incomes and parenting time.  

The other thing is, you are the one who is moving away.  Not him.  It is very likely that the courts will order you to pay for 100% of the transportation costs.  

As for not seeing them as much, you just may find that after he gets most, if not all, of the summer vacation and most of the school holidays, he sees them around the same.  Just in bigger blocks of time.  Which is normal for a long-distance parenting plan. 

[StephandOwen]

I agree with the others, you're very likely to be ordered to pay 100% of the travel expenses for the kids since you are the one wanting to move away. When I moved from Michigan to Kentucky the Judge ordered me responsible for all travel costs. 3 1/2 years later, I've spent thousands of dollars on gas/hotel costs to bring ds to Michigan when ex wasn't even seeing him. The Judge finally ordered that, at least for right now, ex has to come to Kentucky (with him paying) for a weekend every other month and I have to bring ds to Michigan (with me paying) for a weekend every other month. So now it's pretty much 50/50 shared travel expenses, but that's because ex wasn't using the time I was giving him so it was pointless for me to continue spending my money to bring ds back when he wasn't going to see him anyway.