My experience with Dr. Jay Gordon's method

[NPMommy]

I logged my experience originally on the La Leche Legue forum and while I have had a wonderful experience in that forum before I found this to not be the case with my night weaning experience. Maybe I'm too sensitive since I'm more tired than usual right now (tonight will be night #11 on the Gordon method) but I just didn't find the support that I was expecting.

When I was originally looking into the Gordon method I found this forum (under "Breastfeeding") and read about other moms and their experience with the method. I thought that I would log my exerience in case it could help others who are curious. I'll repost them here for the benefit of others, I hope.

[NPMommy]

Nights #1-3

So, last night was night weaning #1 for my 15 month old. I thought that I would post my experience as we go along so that others who are curious about this method will have an experience to draw from. I know I was curious to see how others carried out the method and how their experience went. Feel free to ask questions and I'll try my best to answer them. For those who haven't read Dr. Gordon's method, here is the link:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

After being placed to bed earlier in the night, Jayden woke up at 1115 and since I had chosen 1100-0600 as the time frame in which to do the training, I didn't allow him to fall asleep after feeding. He was NOT happy! He cried, screamed, writhed, tossed and turned in anger. For 35 minutes. At ...which point J picked him up and took him for a walk. J walked him around while humming and rocking. Jayden sort of fell asleep but then woke up after J put him to bed. And Jayden began screaming and crying again. At which point I rocked him and hummed him to sleep. It was 1230.

He slept for 1.5 hrs and then woke up so I nursed him again. This time when I unlatched him, he whined a couple of times and rolled over and fell asleep. Then at 0400 he woke up again so I nursed again. This time, HE unlatched and rolled over and went to sleep! At 530 I had to unlatch him but he again rolled over and fell asleep. He did wake up again after 0600 but I allowed him to nurse as usual since it was after the training time slot. He woke up for the day at 0820, which is his usual. I'm a little tired today, but so far he's been a champ today. No worse for wear....or crying.

So far for today's nap, I allowed him to nurse to sleep and he slept for an hour and 45 minutes. I nursed him back to sleep and like usual, he didn't unlatch and I couldn't unlatch without waking him (I tried). Feeling sleepy myself, I took advantage of the time and slept myself but he was latched on the whole time.....an hour in total. sigh.... So, I feel that tonight will be the same as last night, but I'll try to post tomorrow tonight's adventure.

Just so that I "blog" my experience and note my adventure I'll say WHY I'm doing this. I'm tired of putting my LO to sleep all the time. Naps, bedtime, I'm always running in the room every 30-60 minutes to nurse him back to sleep. I'm done. He can't fall asleep without my boob in his mouth and I'm really done with that.

I've LOVED BF'ing but the ONLY regret that I have is that I made him dependent on ME to fall asleep. And I stress the "I". So, it's time to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. I will continue to nurse during the day until he's 18 months old, he weans himself, or......??, whichever comes first. I plan on nursing him to sleep, and then again in the early morning (after 0600) after the completing night weaning, and during the day.

We DO co-sleep; Jayden, my hubby and myself. Sometimes Jayden is on the outside, other times he's between my hubby and I. We do have a king-size bed, so that helps. So this night weaning process takes place with Jayden in our bed.

So, here's to the rest of the journey!!

Last night was night weaning #2.

He woke up at 1115 and so like usual, I nursed him and then unlatched up before he fell asleep, thinking that all hell was going to break loose. Surprise! He whined a couple of times, rolled over and fell asleep.

He woke up SEVERAL times (more so than usual - I think it's because he's teething) but every time HE unlatched HIMSELF and fell asleep without my help! What?? Amazing! But at 0315, he nursed and when I unlatched him, he was not happy and he made sure to let us know. He complain-cried (my name for the type of crying) a few times and by 0330, he was asleep again. Whew! Again awake at 0430 and did about the same thing as the previous hour; asleep in 15 minutes.

He woke up this morning at 1040 and that's cause J sort of woke him up. I imagine Jayden was still sleepy from the previous day's loss of sleep. But he did well during the night, especially since I was sure that it was going to be a repeat of the previous night's events.

I am sleepier/more tired than usual and I can really tell because I'm typing slower, making more typing errors (during the day too) and I seem to be thinking a little slower than usual (sure, insert joke here!). But it's not ANYWHERE where I thought I was going to be. I thought it was going to be way worse.

So let's see what tonight brings.

 

Night weaning #3: feeling hopeful!

Last night was night weaning #3 and though I'm usually an optomistic person, I sort of feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Last night was good! Let's see... he woke up at midnight, nursed, got unlatched, complain-cried, rolled over to J for comfort (I presume) and fell asleep for about 5 (?) minutes and then complain-cried and rolled over to me to see if he could relatch but quickly fell asleep without much more fuss. I know he woke up at least a couple more times and unlatched himself without trouble until 0500. At that point he woke up and fussed after being unlatched. He rolled over to J and fussed on and off for about 15 mins. He then fell asleep until 0630. So he nursed and then was up for the day at 0655!! Needless to say, I'm really feeling it today! But this is about him so...

This morning's nap, he nursed, technically fell asleep, choked a little while nursing, unlatched and fell asleep. This is good, I believe.

I think that the real test for me is going to be when he is able to put himself back to sleep without me having to run into the room sometimes as soon as 20 minutes! I'd LOVE to have a block of time to myself during the day AND during the evenings with my hubby.

So, tonight, the real challange begins: no nursing at all after 1100!!! Wish me luck! And I'll report back tomorrow.

[NPMommy]

Nights #4-6

Night weaing #4: Not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Ok. So he woke up at around 1050 and so I let him nurse one last time before the weaning period. He ate, unlatched, rolled over and fell asleep! Then he woke at 1245. No nursing tonight from 1100 -0600. He wasn't happy. This time he cried his sad-cry, not the complain-cry. He rolled over to his daddy's side and so J tried to comfort him but Jayden wouldn't stop. Jayden then climbed on J, at which point J asks, "why is he crying?" (!!!???!!!) "Are you asleep?" I respond. "He's crying 'cause he wants to BF and he can't." "Oh. Right."

So J got up and walked Jayden and of course he started crying once he was back in bed. So I took Jayden and carried him to the glider, rocking and humming to him. He calmed down and then laid down across my arms. I kept humming and rocking for a while and then quite rocking. I then took him back to bed and he started crying again. So, I shhhhh'ed and jiggled him to sleep. He fell asleep at 0120.

He woke up again at 0220 and whined a couple of times, rolled over and fell asleep. the same thing at 0330, 0440, and 0550. (No kidding on the times.) But it's like Jayden knew it was almost time to feed again on that last awakening 'cause he wouldn't settle. I let him feed at 0600. He then woke up for the day at 1100 am. Me too. I guess we both needed that extra sleep.

So tonight's goal is to lull him back to sleep with less motion. I used the jiggling along with the "shhhhhh" to help so tonight the jiggling needs to be lighter. All in all, not as bad as the first night. Almost half way there!

 

 

#5:

Again he woke up just before his 1100 "deadline" and so he nursed until around 1104; unlatching and rolling over to fall asleep. He didn't wake again until 0105. I had to jiggle him and "Shee" him to sleep but this jiggling was less intense... and he fell asleep by 0110. Again he woke up just before his 1100 "deadline" and so he nursed until around 1105; unlatching and rolling over to fall asleep. He didn't wake again until 0105. I had to jiggle him and "shhhhhh" him to sleep but this jiggling was less intense and he fell asleep by 0110.

Honestly, I lost total track of time for the rest of the night but I do know that he did manage to go back to sleep every time with a little jiggling and no "shhh". The worst episode was when he woke at 0540. I had to "shhhh" and jiggle and then he would wake up again a minute later and so more of the same, and a little more intense, to get him back to sleep. He slept for 5 minutes before waking again. He had fallen asleep by 0600 when my alarm went off (it's a harp sound so it's really light and doesn't wake Jayden) and I woke him up by movement. He nursed and we got more sleep. He woke up at 1000.

I'm really impressed with our progress in that he is now unlatching, rolling over and falling asleep on his own. Even for naps! I'm going to move his crib in our room (after measuring to ensure its fit) to add bed space to see if him having some space will allow him to sleep a little better. Of course, he does sleep right up next to me even if he's rolled over to fall asleep so I don't know if the added space will be an issue. I'm also going to discuss switching sides with J to see if that allows Jayden to wake up less often.

But so far, I like what I see! And I'm optomistic.

 

 

#6:

The sigh is for me. I'm just tired. Probably cumulative from all the nights so far. But last night was a little more difficult I would say. More similar to night #4. He whined every time he woke up and I believe he woke up every hour--still...! We couldn't put the crib in our bedroom last night; have to take it apart and rebuild it in our room 'cause it doesn't fit through the doors.

If I'm going to be totally honest with myself, I honestly felt at one point last night like letting him CIO but that's not what I'm wanting to do so I rechecked myself. I always have those thoughts when I'm tired. But I'm glad I've not acted on it.

I did have to jiggle him quite a bit more than the previous night, which sort of disappoints me. But I was talking to my mom today and she said, just think that in 1 month he should be STTN for the most part and your night weaning will be done. Being tired makes me easily disappointed in feeling like we took that half step back. But hey!! He did manage to fall asleep without feeding once so that really is better than before.

He last woke up at 0540 and I could NOT get him back to sleep. He would quite down and snooze for a minute or two but then would complain. I finally allowed him to nurse because 1) I was engorged PAST the point of discomfort. I'd been engorged (on one side) since 0400 and now it was seriously painful. 2) It was close enough and I honestly lost steam because of tiredness and pain from engorgement.

He ate but wouldn't you know it, he was up??! :yikes 0555 and he's UP! Sigh... I just stayed in bed and he played in bed, talking mostly. But wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles he fell asleep again a little after 0700. We slept until 0945.

Tonight begins the training part where we don't pick him up, which is really not a change because we haven't done that since night #4. So, it's status quo but hopefully with a little less jiggle and more bed space with his crib in our bed!

[NPMommy]

Nights#7-10

#7:  

Really no different than night #6. But we did manage to get the crib in our room so this time when ds woke up after 1100 I placed him in the crib and I laid down next to him. Mind you, the crib is missing the front side and so it's right up... next to our bed. I stayed next to him so that he would not feel like he was sleeping by himself. He did wake about every hour (not any less!) and it took some shhh'ing and jiggling to get him back to sleep. Rough. He came back to our bed at 0630 and we slept until 1100. He woke up like nothing has been happening at night. Wish I could say the same......

 

#8:  

Better. I feel that he was doing much better when he could feed and then unlatch before falling asleep. BUT...staying the course. Last night he did better in his crib. I felt like he was starting to figure out how to do this whole fall asle...ep by himself thing. I did very little shhh'ing and less jiggling. He did a lot of turning around in his crib, and moving around, with less crying and whining! I tried not to interfere with this as I feel that this is him learning to put himself to sleep. Back to bed with us at 0600 and he woke up at 0820, which was his old norm. This is good. I can't wait for a routine again. But I see a dim light at the end of the tunnel.....

 

#9:  

The crib continues to be in our room right next to our bed on my side of the bed. When I placed him in it around 1140 he went to sleep with just the slightest little protest; more like a light whine. He woke up at 0150 and I THOUGHT he was ...asleep at 0200. I got up to use the restroom and when I climbed back in bed he woke up. And he was up for 2 hours! But it's partly my fault also because I thought, well maybe I can bring him into bed with me and he knows he can't feed. WRONG!!! Poor little guy curled up like he was getting ready to nurse and when I didn't nurse him, well. You know the rest of the story. I placed him back in the crib and it took a little bit to calm him down again. Of course, all this excitement in the middle of the night woke him up and he didn't fall asleep until 0400. I was awake the whole time too. He woke up some time in the 0600 hour and so I brought him back to bed and he woke up for the day at 0915.

I would say overall it's getting better because he didn't wake every hour. IF he did, he didn't need me to get him back to sleep. DS is currently asleep and hubby says I should be napping too, but when do I get any ME time!!??? Though I am super tired. No Easter parties for us today, that's for sure! (plus the weather is crummy.) But the good thing is that Jayden is himself during the day. Yay!!

 

#10:  

Yeah, a little better overall. No 2-hour night session last night; I think it was only like 30 minutes overall. Hey man! That's improvement. And I believe that he woke up 2 other times but went to sleep fairly easily. He woke again at 0655 ...and it was a struggle to get him back to sleep. I stuck to my guns and didn't nurse him until 0600. I brought him back to bed with me (since he'd been in his bed) and he woke up at 0930.