Ugh...DH's ex filed child support modification papers, what happens now?

[leilamom]

My DH and his Ex have one child together.  He currently pays a set ammount for child support from their divorce.  This was not ordered to be paid through the Family Support Division (in Missouri), so he has just been giving her the money through transfer of funds and checks.

Fast forward 10 months and we get about 5 letters from FSD.  They are saying now that they modified the child support order and he has to pay TWICE what he was paying before.  Where did they come up with this???????  Can FSD just arbitrarily just modify the support order?  They also say he is behind for a $ amount that would equal the 10 months of support that has been paid, but not through FSD. 

They are also asking for all this information about health insurance.  I am wondering if Ex went to FSD and applied for benefits, and this just set off a whole bunch of things.

We can't really afford the new amount...can he just keep paying what he was paying?  will he get in trouble with FSD for not paying the modified amount?  when FSD modifies CS, can they just make up a number, or is it based on income and expenses?

Can custodial parents just do whatever they want and get away with it when it comes to child support?  He pays his support EVERY month and is not behind.  He does exactly what he is supposed to do and always has.

[SoulCakes]

Hmm. I'm no expert at this, but I'm fairly certain you should be able to contest the child support amount (usually within 30 days of their first notifying you of the change). If you call FSD they'll tell you what documents you'll need to provide evidence of income -- usually something like the last three months of paystubs, the last year's tax return, etc. You'll also want to show bank statements that indicate how much you've paid for child support, and it would be helpful here if the ex could write a letter or make an appearance saying that she was paid for the last 10 months. Contact FSD with your concerns and they'll tell you what you need to do.

The only thing I'm sure of is that he will definitely get in trouble for not paying the extra child support. It's non-optional, which is why you want to make sure his income is accurately represented before this change becomes final (and if the window for contesting the change in support has already passed, then he may be SOL.).

Good luck! It's a mess getting these paperwork ducks in a row, but well worth it.

[greenemami]

i could be wrong about this since it was ordered through their divorce, but I *think* that any amount of support NOT paid through domestic relations (or FSD with you) is considered a 'gift" and not counted as official child support.  I also believe that back support can only be charged from the time ex filed for child support, not for the past 10 months.  I would definitely have your dh call the agency as soon as possible to start getting this straightened out.  It does sound like she started a chain of events when filing for benefits or something, although I think health insurance is usually taken into acount when deciding on a child support amount, so that would explain why they are asking for that.  Good luck! 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by greenemami 

i could be wrong about this since it was ordered through their divorce, but I *think* that any amount of support NOT paid through domestic relations (or FSD with you) is considered a 'gift" and not counted as official child support.  I also believe that back support can only be charged from the time ex filed for child support, not for the past 10 months.  I would definitely have your dh call the agency as soon as possible to start getting this straightened out.  It does sound like she started a chain of events when filing for benefits or something, although I think health insurance is usually taken into acount when deciding on a child support amount, so that would explain why they are asking for that.  Good luck! 

Re:  the bolded, thats how it is in my state.  Unless the parties agreed, in a court order, that support goes directly to the other parent.  My ex has been told directly by the judge that he is not to give me any money directly, that it will not count as child support.

Your husband definitely needs to find out how the support amount was calculated, but generally its a % of income and its pretty non-negotiable.  If it was calculated correctly, then he has to pay it.

[singin'intherain]

When you say, set amount of child suport, do you mean court ordered? Because if the amount was court ordered, but his ex wasn't receiving benefits, he may not have been required to pay through the state agency. That's how it is in my state. If he has a court order, then there's been a mistake and he just needs to take his court documents down there. I can't imagine he would get a divorce with kids and no court ordered child support amount.

[Marsupialmom]

If those payments were not court order then they will most likely be seen as a "gift."  Try to collect all receipts, bank statements, et.  I am in Missouri, FSD can have things messed up.  Or your dh could have messed up.  Most people from the last 10 years FSD is involved in child support collection.  If your husband was suppose to be paying through FSD, hope the ex is nice enough to write a letter correcting saying he has paid.  If she does this keep that letter forever!  One audit can come and haunt you years down the road (my mom and dad had this issue).

I would get a lawyer and stop paying her directly.  Bank the money and make a lump sum through FSD.  Sadly, the last 10 months might have been for nothing.  FSD usually will take the MOST amount over money to catch up as quickly as possible. 

It is not unheard of FSD to have the wrong numbers to figure it out.  The last paper work I got asked me how much I thought my EX made.  I have had more than one friend run into this issue.  EX thinks they make more than they do.  One ex got pissed because she filed for an update because she thought ex got a promotion when he took a demotion and a pay cut to keep a job.  Her child support was adjusted down. 

Our old neighbors, went a few rounds with FSD because their court order had him paying (buying) the house she and the kids lived in verses paying child support directly. This worked for her because of the four kids only two was biologically his.  The house payment was more than child support for the two kids.  He wanted this way because he loved three of the kids dearly.  The forth, was not his and the reason they divorced, proof she was having an affair.  However, he didn't want his kids or that child on the streets.  But this non-traditional child support arrangement didn't fit neatly in FSD framework.  

Another friend found out that the man who loves her daugthers (bio dad of one) would be screwed royally if she went through FSD even if she signed affidavits because things were seen as "gifts".  They had an amicable arrangement until some set a bug in her that she would get more. FSD only figured one child in, because the other was not his biologically.  Between his family, his taking a different shift, and her family their was never a need for day care.  He paid for sports, clothes, et without thinking.  He would buy "extra" food if he thought she needed it.  When she lost her job he paid her car payment.  He had a debit card for medical expenses, since dd 1 was not biologically his it made since for her to carry the insurance -- she never had to ask for any of this.  He paid for school lunches, et.  She had to come to a screeching hault when she found out this stuff was going to have to stop, because he was going to be nailed with not only current child support but 6 years prior child support for ONE child.  Then once he was caught up she would get support for ONE child. His pay would be reduce because he would have to get insurance on that ONE child which her insurance covered.  FSD and a nasty lawyer wanted to nail him for back medical, you name it.  

Another coworker found herself in trouble when she went for chemo.  She was in the position either pay for child support or chemo.  Her ex finally said screw it with trying to get a modification with FSD.  He gave her the debit card that he got his support on. FSD saw that she was still making money so she should be able to pay.  Even if they were still together this would have been a financially strapped time for the kids.  In the long run, Chemo was more important to the kids if it meant having mom around longer. But FSD has rules, not common since.  

[leilamom]

The child support was court ordered to start on July 1.  Nothing was mentioned in the papers at that time that it had to be done through the FSD.  Before that, he was paying alimony to her, which was a set amount, and child support was not ordered then.

She is fairly vindictive, and I am sure she will say that he never paid her or some bs like that.  The letter we got yesterday stated that any amount paid to her after April 15 would be considered a gift, therefore I am wondering if the amount paid before then will count.  My DH has forwarded all of this to his attorney, but I am just really concerned because I have this bad feeling that we are going to have to pay all that back support because she will say he didn't pay it when he did and can prove it through banking records.

[khaoskat]

If you have the bank records showing that the money was paid to her (via transfers or copies of checks), then he should be ok.

What you need to do is find out who DFS got involved in the first place.

You state your Court Order sets an amount but does not set it to be paid through DFS.  Was her previous alimony paid that way or was it paid through the transfers/checks?

From this point forward, send everything to DFS, until this is sorted out.  Also, you can bypass DFS's new support amount and go to the Court and request a modification retroactive to July 1 of the DFS Order and also for the Court to set your current balance to zero or a positive if you were ahead on payments.

Your lawyer should be able to fix a lot of this for you with little effort.

[singin'intherain]

In my state there would be no way that social services could change a support amount. It would have to be court ordered.

[Marsupialmom]

Originally Posted by khaoskat 

If you have the bank records showing that the money was paid to her (via transfers or copies of checks), then he should be ok.

What you need to do is find out who DFS got involved in the first place.

You state your Court Order sets an amount but does not set it to be paid through DFS.  Was her previous alimony paid that way or was it paid through the transfers/checks?

From this point forward, send everything to DFS, until this is sorted out.  Also, you can bypass DFS's new support amount and go to the Court and request a modification retroactive to July 1 of the DFS Order and also for the Court to set your current balance to zero or a positive if you were ahead on payments.

Your lawyer should be able to fix a lot of this for you with little effort.

I think you are getting departments and abbreviations mixed up.

In MO: DFS = Department of Family Service this would be used for child/adult abuse and other social services like that.

FSD is Family Support Division this is for child support and has nothing to do with social services or child abuse just child support. This office does use court orders, however the information they use is not always correct.  The will OFTEN use what the other parent THINKS they make, subpoena the wrong address (sometimes this is not their fault but vindictive ex-partner some times it is), get a court order because the person did not show up.  There is many ways to to fraud the system, intentionally or un-intentionally.

One thing that could have triggered this is if she filled for welfare services.  They contact FSD and then there can be a large miscommunication.  If the parent, for what ever reason, is not paying according to their formulas then they go after the payer like a rabid dog, as long as he/she is convenient.  However they do not take in consideration of what the parents agreed to that often is court ordered (agreed to), which might make more since for the parties than the formulas.   They often have a specific judge that hasn't been given all the facts agreeing to what ever FSD says it should be.